White Crowned Sparrow

Chapter 19: Suffocating

This was hard to write. Not in the same sense as the last chapter, but bro the flow is not there -_-

So... let's just ignore that...

My thumb hovered over the "call" button as I stared down, willing myself to press it. My free hand clutched the bathroom counter tightly, my knuckles beginning to turn white and my arm shaking. Why was this so hard? I had been begging myself to do this since the first day after Bokuto and I's fight, and yet nothing. Two and a half months had passed and nothing. We had both come back to Tokyo for summer break... and as far as I knew Bokuto was still at home, just a short walk away, and I couldn't even call him. What was wrong with me?

I just had to get this over with already. I had to see if he'd even talk to me. Enough time had gone by, and sitting around and doing nothing hadn't gotten me anywhere. I just had to do it. Like ripping a bandaid off.

A shaky breath escaped my lungs as my thumb jammed into the "call" button.

This was happening.

I held the phone up to my ear as I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Dark eyebags adorned by face, along with an angry scowl, and Jesus Christ this looked all too familiar.

Here I was, back in the same place I was all those months ago, calling Bokuto to tell him the good news that I had gotten into his college, only to be interrupted by a second voice that for all I knew belonged to his bestie Iwaizumi. The same guy who had now effectively ruined Bo and I's friendship...

No, not ruined... just, um, put a damper on...?

"'Kaashi!?" A loud voice exclaimed on the other end of the line, causing me to jump. The voice sent a sharp jolt down my spine.

Nope. This was not happening.

I quickly slammed the phone down, frantically pressing at buttons until the call dropped.

What was wrong with me?

I was pathetic.

Who in their right mind couldn't make a single phone call to make up with their best friend after months of not talking? Me. That's who. Well... maybe not the "in their right mind" part, but everything else was pretty fitting.

My lips twitched into a snarl as I stared at my sad reflection hanging above the bathroom sink.

I had to fix this.

I needed Bokuto.

My skin itched and my chest ached and I needed him.

It was all my fault. Who cared if Bokuto was lying to me about Iwaizumi? I didn't even care anymore. All I cared about was getting my best friend back.

◆ ◆ ◆

"Where are you going, Keiji?"

"Out."

"Where is 'out'?" My mother asked, crossing her arms across her chest as she watched me pull my shoes on from the kitchen.

"I'm allowed to go out aren't I? I'm an adult now," I curtly replied, opening the front door. I watched the woman open her mouth in protest, but no words came out, and before she could think of any I was gone.

The weather was nice. It was dark out, and it must have been past 8pm already, but the t-shirt sleeves exposing my bare arms seemed to be plenty to keep me warm. It had been in the 80s all week, and if it weren't for my decision to lock myself in my bedroom all summer and wallow in self pity, I may have actually enjoyed it. If only it was always warm out. Warm was good. I was always cold, always, and I needed something to keep me warm. Something to keep out the cold.