A random story intro filled with placeholders

the intro (to a story that has no continuation from here)

"I don't see anything", said the watchman as The Magistrate, a dirigible, floated past a mountain. A second watchman sidled up to him, much more jovial than his curmudgeonly co-worker, "that's because there isn't anything to see in the first place", he said, "and besides, George, you're absolutely myopic". Looking over, George replied, "I happen to have perfect eyesight, I'll have you know", George then grabbed a pair of binoculars and tossed them to his partner, "and I'll also let you know, Bill, since you seem incapable of noticing due to your overly ebullient attitude, that I meant I didn't see anything worth mentioning, although there is a small trading ship down at the confluence of those two rivers down there". As Bill looked for the ship, George, always eager to relieve the tedium of standing around doing nothing, continued to speak, "and since neither of us has any form of forestry experience, I doubt you noticed the 'picturesque' trees and the cottages nearby in this ersatz settlement they created just to 'reward' Justin for whatever it is he did". Bill, having examined the trading ship, turned around, his expression, normally filled with bonhomie, was now very solicitous. "That isn't a trading ship".

Seconds later, we heard an explosion, as well as an outrush of air as The Magistrate's balloon began to deflate. "Hurry up Jack.", Bill said to me, and then turned to George, "that 'trading' ship you erroneously dismissed had a cannon under those cargo crates, and your ignominious scrutiny of it didn't help whatsoever". Recessive after his mistake, George was acting more amiable, and the cessation of his soliloquies and nitpicking was almost more unnerving than the way Bill was placidly taking this. "Jack, you and I are going to have to share-a-chute, seeing as there's only two here", Bill stated, managing to keep a straight face while handing George the other parachute. "Why don't you and George share?" I asked, knowing full well we were the two lightest people and therefore Bill would have figured it would make the most sense for the heaviest to not be sharing one with someone else". As I suspected, that's exactly how Bill responded, "we are the lightest two people here, so it makes sense that we should need to share the chute, since George might be too heavy to share one, and besides, he's already gone". I turned around, and as Bill had said, George's earlier obsequiousness was gone with him, leaving only one chute for the two of us. "Guess I'll just hang on to you then", I said as I acquiesced, clinging to his harness (obviously not in the back, wouldn't want to be in front of the parachute and end up falling to our death). As I pondered why these disguised trading ships had decided to stage a guerilla attack on The Magistrate, I couldn't help but notice the incongruities in the fact that the airship had less parachutes than crew members as Bill dragged me out into the open air. Soon after, Bill pulled the ripcord and I felt a yank not that different from a water ski rope as it was pulled tight, something I was never quite good at and only attempted to do maybe twice. As my hands reflexively released Bill's harness, I heard his screams as I fell into oblivion.