Love Yourself

I have a message for people. If you choose to read this here's what I want to say to you.

I know how things get sometimes. The thoughts of worthlessness and despair, the feeling that you aren't good enough are present. For some people more often than not. I want you to know that it's ok to feel however you feel. Don't think for a second that your feelings aren't worth anything, don't undervalue how you feel for anyone. No one can tell you your worth, people may knock you down, tell you that you are nothing or mock you for whoever you choose to be. Don't listen to them, their insults are wrong. So I want to tell you now that the first step into accepting and loving yourself is to ignore what everyone says about you. They shouldn't get to decide who you are the only person who can do that is you. Maybe what you want to be won't work out, maybe you fail but that's only a step closer to your end goal. Nothing is immediate and everything takes time. Don't feel ashamed that you didn't achieve what you wanted to and never ever compare yourself to others. That's where the doubt begins. The doubt will always linger at the back of your mind, whenever you do something the doubt might overpower your confidence in your abilities. Don't let it win. Be confident in who you are and your abilities. Allowing yourself to be the own ruler of your life is a big step into loving yourself. Just remember that whatever your situation no one can take away who you are. They may tell you to be someone else or to be a different person and maybe you have to put up a front for them until you can cut them out of your life. You may have to that for them but when you are with people who care about you let down your guard and enjoy being yourself. Until then just hold on to who you are because they can't take away your passion for what you love and whoever you choose to be.

Another thing that may help you is finding joy in the small things in life. Indulge yourself in things that you love to do, maybe you like to read, draw or play a sport. Just enjoy yourself. Don't overwhelm yourself with expectations and standards for yourself. As much as you want to be a better person and become more perfect it isn't worth it. Don't put yourself under pressure to be someone better because you are perfect for who you are. If you want to be better loving yourself is the right way to go. Once you love yourself you become someone greater than who you were. You can help others love themselves as well. Being someone you are not is where you end up losing yourself. The moment you realize that you are putting up a facade to please other people is when you need to take a step back. I know that we live in a society where people tell you to be yourself but then when they deem you as too abnormal they throw you away like you are a piece of trash. Being yourself is a huge risk, I wish we lived in a society where people valued you for who you are but unfortunately that isn't the case most of the time. So in the end it is up to you if you choose to be yourself with the risk of being rejected or if you choose to put up a mask and fake smiles for the rest of your life to please people. It up to you but don't spend your life trying to please other people completely disregarding yourself for others.

The next step to loving yourself is to have a healthy outlet and someone trusted. No one can get through things alone. I thought I could and sometimes I think that I still can. As much as you fear getting betrayed and someone you trust might leave you. Not everyone is like that though, there are bad people out there and you do have to be careful who you trust but when you find your safe person you'll know that they are the one. A safe person is someone that will share their feelings as well so you can feel comfortable to share yours. If you don't have a safe person I recommend writing down your thoughts. As cringy as writing a diary sounds writing down thoughts is a healthy outlet so you don't bottle things up and let them explode which might lead to self-harm or something worse. Don't let it come to that. Find someone maybe online that will help you through those moments. Those moments of self-hatred and anxiety. However, you choose to deal with whatever you are going through make sure that it's a healthy thing.

After you have a safe person, a healthy outlet, the decision of wether you want to be yourself or not and have got rid of the negative people in your life the last step is the journey of healing. Those things that you did before were only helping hands to help you love yourself. It's honestly up to you. I wish I could do more but in order to get better, you have to want to. You have to try your best to try to get better. Things will be hard, the road to loving yourself is long. I don't want to sugar coat it for you and make it seem so easy because the truth is it's not. Maybe you know that because you have been trying to get better for so long but you still haven't. Even when you do get better you may have relapses or something new that can completely destroy what you worked hard to build up. You will have bad days and you will have days where you feel you can take on the world. Days when the simplest comment can completely leave you a mess. Days when you feel like you want to end it all or resort to self-harm. Whatever the day, it is part of your journey to love yourself. Every day that passes is another day lived with the possibility of loving yourself. Just know that you aren't alone and that you are perfect the way you are.

I am not a professional on loving yourself by no means. I still don't love myself but I am working on it. This may not help you at all but I just wanted to tell you what I think about how to love yourself. Whatever you are going through just know that I believe in you and one day you will love yourself.

Dedicated to BTS who have helped me start to love myself and still continue to change my life.