Twitards Invade The Enterprise

A/N: I don’t own Star Trek or Twilight.  Oh, and in the 24th Century all data on the Twilight movies have been lost so all the Twitards have to go on is the book series.  As you can see, that leads to complications.

Data was on his way to the bridge when he bumped into a young woman.  He stopped to see if the young woman was okay.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

The lady looked into his eyes with delight.

“Golden eyes?” she asked.

“I am Lt. Commander-,” Data began.

The woman continued inspecting him and interrupted Data before he could finish his sentence.

“Sparkly skin that feels cold.  You’re Edward Cullen!” the woman exclaimed.

Data was confused, not knowing who this Edward Cullen was.

“I am afraid that my name is Data, and I have no knowledge of an Edward Cullen.”

Unfortunately, the young lady was not listening to him.

“Oh my God!  I can’t believe that I met Edward Cullen!”

Data only stared at the woman.

“As I have explained to you, my name is not Edward Cullen.”

Again, his explanation fell on deaf ears.

“What are you doing on a starship?!  Are you still married to Bella?!  Can you say, ‘do I dazzle you?!’”

Data left, realizing that the woman would not listen to him, creating a mental note to ask Counselor Troi about this later.

* * *

“You’re telling me that some crazy woman mistook you for Edward Cullen?” Troi asked while laughing.

Data looked at her with confusion.

“I fail to see the humor in that situation.”

Troi tried to bring herself to stop laughing, but failed.

“It’s just that…  The way Edward Cullen’s portrayed…  It’s hard to believe that anyone could mistake you for him!” Troi exclaimed, continuing her laughter.

That did not change Data’s expression of confusion.

“Why is it impossible to believe that I could be mistaken for this Edward Cullen?”

“Data, have you ever read Twilight?” Troi asked.

“I have heard it mentioned, but my knowledge of the series is incredibly limited,” Data answered.  “Should I read it?”

“If you want to, but I wouldn’t recommend it,” Troi said.

“Why would you not recommend it?” Data asked.

“Well, Twilight is not exactly one of the best written books.  I’m surprised it managed to stay popular for this long,” Troi answered.

“Still, I am curious about this book series,” Data said.

* * *

Data quickly read all four books and could not comprehend why anyone would mistake him for this Edward Cullen.  He seemed to have a habit of sneaking into Bella’s room to watch her sleep, cared very little for human kind and even sabotaged Bella’s car so that she was not allowed to see Jacob.  According to Data’s ethical program, these actions were wrong and the fact that a man who was constantly described as perfect would perform these actions greatly confused him.  If anything, Edward’s actions reminded Data of Lore.