lifeline | finnick odair

scene 2; the reaping

"we should stick together, you're my best friend & i'll love you forever."

Valentina

I WOKE UP COLD with a forecasting feeling of dread which seemed to loom over me like a rain cloud as I squinted my eyes in order to adjust to the light that streamed into my room through the barred windows. I let out a loud yawn, rolling over in my bed, but I didn't have much time when I remembered what today was.

The dress I had picked out for today was a sort of pale blue colour which was long-sleeved and fell to right above my knees, a modest dress that I knew would help me to blend in perfectly, which was what I wanted to do today. 

There were small details around the sweetheart neckline which made me feel pretty as I washed my face, getting ready for the ceremony. I didn't know what to do with my hair, but I decided to tie it in a half-up half-down hairstyle, so it looked like I wasn't trying too hard, but just enough.

When I exited the bathroom, I saw my mother wearing her slightly dress, she seemed to wear the same outfit at every reaping. I walked over to her, gently placing my two hands on her shoulders, smoothing out a crease that appeared when I did so, and she soon embraced me, a small smile on her face. "Are you excited for Alex?" Shaking the thought off, I let my hands drop and smiled up at her now, and watched as her eyes gazed at me questioningly. I would be excited if it were my turn to volunteer, but all I felt was dread, the games were just entertainment, and that was no excuse here where we were excited for the reapings. Some of us.

I felt half excited, half nervous every reaping. I can't wait for my games, but I hate seeing the others die. I feel awful for enjoying watching them, for looking forward to them. 

We ate breakfast slowly, savouring every bite and making sure we were well-fed before we made our way to the reaping. My mother walked me to Alexander's house first, as their mothers conversed and Alex and I were able to make jokes and nervous laughter as we walked along. Alexander was glowing with confidence as we walked, clearly excited to volunteer today.

With every step, I felt my confidence fade just slightly, as though I could feel something was going to go wrong, and the thought of it made me feel sick to my stomach.

I was interrupted from my chain of thoughts by my hand being grasped by one of the peacekeepers who stuck a small needle into my finger, placing it down onto a sheet of card before ushering me off. The pain didn't bother me anymore and I accepted the fact that they needed my fingerprint before making my way over to the girls section. 

I stood next to some girls from my age section, glancing behind me briefly to see my parents who shot me a reassuring smile. I searched through the sea of teenagers in search of Alexander, but couldn't quite see him among all of those in the crowd, my eyes instead spotting random boys whom I'd never even seen before. It seemed to send a sick chill down my spine, and I wanted to run from the spot I was in though my feet stayed planted firmly on the cold, hard cement.