How I Met Your Mother (A Stolen Jerseys Oneshot)

How I Met Your Mother

❤    H O W    I    M E T    Y O U R    M O T H E R    ❤

                  a stolen jerseys one shot

He stood outside her room, feeling his nerves from the tips of his fingers, right down to his toes. He raised his hand to knock on the door, but he let it fall back down to pick at the hems of his shirt, biting his lip nervously. Will she say yes, or… will she say no? He thought, anxiously laying one hand on the huge cart that stood to his right. 

He wiped the sweat from his brow, anxiously patting his hair down, and praying that his - quite obvious - nervousness didn’t show. Hopefully she’ll say yes, since I’m practically bribing her… He pulled down his t-shirt, and took one last deep breath. He was just about to raise his fist to knock, when the door flew open, much to his astonishment. If she’s psychic too, I swear I will-

  

“Yeah well, you’re a cold-hearted shrew, you know that? I’d rather kiss a dog than be in a relationship with you.” A tall, Mexican guy strode out of the room.

“And I’d rather eat my shit than listen to yours. And did you just call me a shrew?” She asked with disbelieving eyes.

“I did, and frankly, I don’t give a - ”

 

“Miguel, get out of my room. Now. Unless, of course, you want to have your balls chopped off,” she added the last part as an afterthought, and he had to restrain himself from going up to the guy and kicking him where it hurt, even if it meant breaking the Guy Code. You know, the one which says that no guy can kick the other in their nether region? Yeah, that one.

The Mexican boy was tall, dark haired, had a burnt out butt of a cigarette in hand as he strode out, roughly pushing past him. She popped her head out from behind the door, taking no notice of him, and yelled at the guy, “the next time you call me when you’re drunk, I’m going to kick you so hard, your miniscule genitalia will dangle out from your mouth, you - you son of a freaking...  STRAWBERRY!”

She was allergic to strawberries. He knew that, duh. He smiled slightly, remembering the time when he had to drive her to the hospital, amidst her screams, her mother’s screams, her sister’s screams, and the rest of her family’s bloody screams. And the doctor’s. But that was much later, of course.

He’d felt like screaming, himself, and comforting her while he was at it. Of course, there was also the irresistible urge to beat up that stupid strawberry, that had been buried in her birthday cake, by some ignorant prick. Anyone who hurt even a hair on her head, died. That was a rule. Even if it was a strawberry that caused the pain. And even though, since she ate the strawberry, it was already dead. But, you get the point.

And it was on her birthday.

That was a bloody crime, not just a ‘mistake’.

“MONROE!” She yelled, dragging him cruelly out of his - slightly violent - thoughts, and she slapped her hand over his open mouth. He hadn't even realized he was emitting a low sound, akin to a growl.

“Y-yeah?” He felt his knees go weak at her beautiful, yet… very angry face. Don’t blame him, though, her anger put the Kraken to shame.