𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚

Chapter 19

When Sergio and I got home Cristiano wasn't there. He was probably with Paola, but I didn't need to think about that right now. I had to write thank you notes to everyone who attended the meeting.

I sit down on the bed and start writing. I'm about halfway done, when Cristiano enters the bedroom. I don't even look up from my work. I can feel him watching me, as he walks over to his bedside table and lights a cigarette. He takes a puff, breathing out a giant cloud, filling the room with the scent of smoke. God I hated it when he did that.

"How was your meeting?" He asks suddenly. I don't hesitate to answer.

"Fine." I say blankly, still not looking up at him.

"Just fine?" Cristiano asks, as if it's more of a statement, taking another puff of his cigarette. I put down my pen in frustration, and look up at him. It's taking everything in me to not start screaming at him.

"Yes." I say harshly.

I just wish he'd leave me alone. He almost looks offended. I go back to writing my letters. Cristiano plops down on the bed, next to me, and lies down. My back is facing him, but I can still feel him looking at me. Suddenly, I feel his fingertips on my back. His pointer and middle finger start to walk up my back, making me squirm a little. He's making things so difficult for me.

I was suppose to be ignoring him, and getting rid of my feelings. It was hard to not pay any attention to him, especially when he was toying with me. Things were always so up and down with Cristiano. Hot and cold, hot and cold. Right now things felt red hot.

But I was committed to not developing feelings for him. I finish my last letter, get off the bed, and head into the bathroom. As I shut the door, I can't help but feel guilty. Maybe he did care about me. Or maybe he was just trying to manipulate me into being under his control again.

I strip off my clothes, and turn on the shower. I can feel my body ache. Not because I'm hurting, I know, deep down, that I want sex. It was obvious that Cristiano wanted it too, but I wasn't go to give in. Especially since he was sleeping with Paola.

I let the water flow through my hair and past my arms. I had already showered, so technically I didn't need another one, but I needed some sort of excuse to not be around Cristiano. He's surprisingly kept his cool, I've been expecting him to snap at me any moment. But I guess he was good at that, hiding his emotions, and shoving them down. He had been raised to do that ever since he was born. Those scars on his back were a sign that his feelings had been beaten out of him ever since he was little. A man like that can't love someone else. He'd probably do the same thing to the children I give him.

My heart almost stops when I think about that. Suddenly, I don't feel such a yearning for sex anymore. Because every time he and I slept together, that just made it more and more likely I could get pregnant. I didn't want to bring an innocent child into this world. But that was my one duty, and I didn't have a choice. I could try and avoid Cristiano as much as I wanted, but I couldn't escape my one responsibility. Giving birth to an heir.

After a while, I get out of the shower. I put on a robe, and slowly creep out of the bathroom. Cristiano is still in the exact same spot. He immediately notices me, and just stares at me. There's no emotion, I can never tell what he's thinking. If he wanted to sleep with me, all he had to do was grab me by the arm, and throw me on the bed. I can try and evade him as much as I want, but at the end of the day, if he wanted something, there was no saying no. I had always heard rumors of how Don's would take out their anger on Donna's by beating and raping them. The fact that Cristiano hadn't beaten me yet probably made him strange.

I can feel his gaze on me as I enter the closet. I put on my green pajamas, the same ones the night I lost my virginity. I'm hoping he doesn't take this as some sort of sign.

I walk out of the closet to see him getting out of bed. He goes to one of the drawers, pulls out a gun, and puts it in his belt. He grabs his coat, and puts it back on. Somethings definitely wrong.

He looks at me, and sees that I'm concerned.

"The Consigliere's called an emergency meeting." Cristiano says while adjusting his coat.

I nod at him. And he nods back. With that he exits our bedroom. I was worried. There were meetings between the Don's and the Consigliere's often, but if there was an "emergency meeting" that meant something had happened.

Now wasn't the time to be upset or petty with Cristiano. If something bad happened, I needed to be there to support him. This was my family now too, whether I liked it or not.

I go downstairs to find Beatrice, and ask her to make some coffee. I didn't feel like sleeping. I felt guilty that I was at home safe, and Cristiano was out there dealing with all the responsibilities of being a Don. So I stayed up. I had a few cups of coffee, went back upstairs, and waited. I was a Donna, I had to do my job too.

But that didn't mean I had to love the Don.

hey guys! sorry for the short chapter. thank you so much for over 1k reads! 💜💜💜💜💜 also, thank you for all the comments, i love to know what you guys think!