Amara

Shine

When I was a child, I woke up screaming.

"Aah!"

Clear vivid images of death made nightmares commonplace.

"It's okay it's not real."

"Everything is alright."

My parents would always say. Hugging me close until I eventually stopped screaming, tears streaming down my face. Then it became real.

"A murder today in New York..."

The people I would see dying at night would be on the news the next day. You'd think I would share that information with my parents. But considering how scared they looked despite what they were saying, I knew it'd only make things worse. However, as you can imagine with the number of people in New York, my screams only continued to grow.

"Honey? What are you doing?"

Well until I leaned into insomnia, and just drew in a notebook what I saw. It released whatever vision I had for the most part. By the time the morning would come around I could actually sleep. Or at least, so I thought.

"Honey."

My mother said shaking my arms as I finally snapped back to her. Turns out I drew way past the notebook, writing all over the walls and smooth surfaces I could fit the legible letters. They read "redrum" as my Dad walked in then, saying sternly.

"What aren't you telling us?"

"I..."

I started, but I could feel the lump in my chest. He wasn't taking no for an answer, so he enunciated.

"Amara, speak."

"I see...I see dead people. I see how they died and then I see them on the news."

I said, and that's when things started to go downhill. I was put on medication very early. I received a therapist but I went through about three before finding one who was more or less stable.

"So, do you want to tell me about your nightmares?"

"I don't think you'd be able to handle it."

Even at fifteen years old, I felt older than I should've been. But I guess who can blame me?

"Don't underestimate me just yet."

James was my final therapist, he stuck with me all the way up till college. He truly listened to everything, put me on the correct medication, and taught me a trick whenever my nightmares would start to come back.

"Close your eyes."

"This is ridiculous-"

"Don't knock it till you try it, Amara."

Sighing I closed them, as James said.

"Imagine a closet, sitting over some thin ice in the middle of the woods."

"Okay..."

The crazy thing was, it actually was working. I could see it clear as day.

"Now whenever you feel the nightmares come back, lock it in the closet, then let it sink and break down through the ice."

Four years later I'm no longer his patient, but I definitely invited him for my high school graduation.

"Thank you."

I said hugging him and my parents, I wouldn't have made it this far without them. Crying tears of joy for the first time. It was a good day. More were shed on my way off to college, but now I know I can make it. As I walked into my dorm, I was stuck with the corner bunk, but that's never bothered me before. I started to unpack as my roommate started to test the water with everyone.

"So listen, I know we're just freshmen, but I have a hot tip for anyone interested."

Once she started talking about a frat party, I tuned the rest out. Making sure my phone and computer were connected to the wifi, then made sure they were plugged up and fully charged.

"Last chance, are you coming?"

"Nope, not interested."

I said giving eye contact to her with a tight smile. She closed the door as I started to unpack. Then I prepared my bed with sheets and a pillow I brought. Once everything was in its proper place, more or less, I sat down on the edge of my bunk bed. Taking a small rest.

Drip

Uh oh.

"That's what I forgot."

You'd think I'd keep my medication at my hip, but I haven't had to use it in about a year. Fumbling a bit, I found it in one of my suitcase pockets. But could tell I was starting to freak out, so I took a deep breath, before opening it and slipping a pill down my throat.

"I saw that ya know."

Half flinching over to my roommate, I almost had a small heart attack but played it off.

"That is none of your business."

I said coldly, placing the bottle in my drawer with toiletries.

"Ooh, touchy, calm down I'm not prying."

Rolling my eyes, she walked in with a towel wrapped around her as her damp feet patted into the room. Seeing the water trail behind her gave me a small bit of solace, but the sound I heard was deeper- stop it, that's how it starts. Speaking of, I needed a shower myself. Picking up my toiletries basket, and my robe, I took them to the dorm bathroom before closing the door. Changing in the stall I was still a little on edge, but by the time I walked out I was back to normal. Heading to the showers, in my shower shoes no less I hung my robe up, before letting the hot water stream down my back. Combing my wet hair into a temporary ponytail, I used my soap bar to clean myself. Once safely back in my dorm, my roommates were all still gone.

"It's the first day and they just can't help themselves..."

I said while yawning, I forget the medication does make me a bit sleepy. Changing into some pajamas, I crawled into my bunk bed to sleep. After twisting around twice, I was fast asleep. I woke abruptly to my alarm, but that's to be expected, all my classes are earlier than my high school ones.

"Turn it off!"

One of my roommates yelled, as the other girls grumbled and agreed. I tapped the alarm off on my phone, but I was half tempted to turn my volume all the way up and give them some real noise. But I'm not them.