Not A Fan

Unspoken

Three days later you received news that turned your entire world upside down. There was news that the rest of a map that would lead to Luke Skywalker had been discovered. The individual that held that final piece could be found on Jakku. Since the triumvirate would be leaving Starkiller to ensure the success of the mission that was set up to retrieve the piece, Supreme Leader had instructed General Hux to have you sent to him. You felt ill at ease at the thought of meeting with the man who was Kylo Ren's teacher, however the Knight only offered words of encouragement before taking his leave. While speaking to you he had seemed distracted. You knew this had much to do with his past, and yet...

In all honesty, you still wished he had made more time to say goodbye. Time had passed, and though you had seen snippets as to what was occurring via your Force-bond, you remained mostly in the dark as to what was happening in his life. You were preoccupied often with morning sickness, or else Supreme Leader Snoke would instruct you to continue your training via meditating. He did not allow you to do much else; you gathered that he valued your child's life above your own.

What stopped you cold down a hallway one evening was a strong feeling that hit you through that bond. Pain. Confusion. You fell to your knees, covering your mouth with your hand. Pure shock. When you confronted Snoke about it, he dismissed you, stating only that Kylo Ren would be arriving in little time.

You had not expected the Knight to be in such a poor state. While you sat at the man's bedside, listening to the machines working as the physicians tended to his needs, General Hux filled you in on what had occurred. A nineteen-year old girl who was strong with the Force had defeated the father of your unborn child. You stared at the man's face, which was marred by a lightsaber wound. Somehow it made him look more his age of nearly thirty. Still, you wished it was not there; it was a reminder that he had been in a battle that had nearly cost him his life.

Though Snoke warned you against spending too much time with the recovering Force user, you often found yourself wandering into his room. It was due to this that you were present when he at last decided to acknowledge your presence. Kylo Ren set a hand on your stomach, a soft sigh escaping him. You shuddered at the memory that surfaced in his head, the one that filtered into your mind through your Force bond. He had murdered his father. Your lips parted, and you stared at him in slight shock. The man on the bed was broken in a way he would not admit. In fact, that very thought caused him to cast a cold gaze in your direction.

"No. It made me stronger." It was almost forced, his words. As though he were trying to convince himself of this. You only nodded, not wanting him to torment himself anymore. You set your hand atop his on your belly. Kylo Ren relaxed a little. "You've grown stronger."

"Not by much," you said, giving him a tender smile that Snoke would have berated you over. "That girl—"

"Don't get involved," he said, his eyes betraying his worry though he tried to keep his face neutral. He sat up on the bed, resting his forehead on your shoulder. "You...smell nice." The fact that he had nearly stumbled over the compliment, his awkwardness, allowed you to truly relax. Though he had changed due to his experience, he was still the same. This was the man you had started to fall in lo—he tensed, and you broke that train of thought. Love would make Snoke tear the two of you apart. You could feel it, but neither of you could ever admit to it. "Do you know the gender?"

"No. I told them not to tell me until you were with me. Supreme Leader told me this was alright. He has decided that I can be part of the child's life. Ensure that he or she grows up following the, uhm, correct path. But if I try to coddle our child too much, I'll have to spend some time away... It's sort of frustrating. Being told what I am and am not allowed to do with my own child."