Tupac
I sit in my car, in front of Adrienne's apartment complex.
If she has my stuff, she knows.
She knows all of it.
I fucked everything up, she ain't gonna want nothing to do with a nigga like me.
I'm gonna lose her.
Thirty minutes pass before I can make myself get out of my car and walk up the stairs to her apartment door.
I knock, twisting the ring on my middle finger nervously.
When she comes to the door, she doesn't look at me, she just opens it and walks away. I let out a breath, before closing it behind me.
Adrienne goes into her bedroom and comes out with her overnight bag from yesterday.
"So how'd that search at your place pan out?" She asks, I know she already knows the answer. But how'd she even know that they were coming. She saved my ass.
When I don't answer, she speaks again.
"So they didn't find anything right?" She asks, a sarcastic tone in her voice.
I watch as she walks over to the kitchen table and dumps out everything in it.
My vest, guns, floor plans, weed.
All of my stuff.
My breath gets caught in my chest.
"Baby.. I-"
She holds up a hand, making me go silent. I've never seen her like this. Angry.
Its like she's having a meltdown.. But she won't even make eye contact with me. We just stand there in silence, both of us looking at all the stuff on the table.
"So when were you gonna tell me?" She asks, sitting down at the table. I stare at her, my hands in my pockets. When was I gonna tell her? Was I ever gonna tell her at all?
"I couldn't." I choke out, my voice lower than I intended.
Adrienne picks up one of my guns, flipping it over in her hand.
"How many people have you killed?" She asks, I try to swallow the lump in my throat. They say the truth will set you free, but not in my case, not right now.
Right now I feel a weight.. The weight of possibly losing this girl that I think I love.
"How many?" She repeats, a little louder, still looking down at my gun in her hand.
I honestly don't know.. I stopped counting months ago.
"I don't know." I say, she chuckles, but I know it isn't because this is funny, its because she's hurting. No answer to any of the questions she asks today will make this any better for either of us.
"How much money have you stolen?" She puts the gun down, but her eyes stay focused on it.
I let out a breath.
"Somewhere around three million."
Adrienne buries her head in her hands, and doesn't speak for a while. I clear my throat, trying to put my words together.
"When I met you.. I wanted to change." I say.
She looks up at me and scoffs.
"Was this before or after you killed somebody in front of me, and pointed a gun in my face?" Our eyes meet, and guilt takes over me. Her eyes are red, and I can tell that I've deeply hurt her, which breaks me, mentally and physically.
