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by suseomance

by suseomance

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍
𝙻𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝙸'𝚖 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐
𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚕 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐

❦

Suho rested his forehead on Jugyeong's and both of them closed their eyes. Jugyeong's hands on either side of his cheeks. Both of them smiled with the tears leaking from their closed eyes.

But in a corner, stood Seojun looking at them. His tears falling down uncontrollably. His hands formed in fists, trying to control himself but the tears fell down by itself.

Everything. Everything about Im Jugyeong. Reminded him of one and only person.

The way she had the capability to hold herself together in rough situations. The way she smiled. They way she interacted. Her likes. Her dislikes. Her personlity. Just was so alike to him.

Seyeon.

Suho loved him. He knew it. He knew it when, the way Suho was so different towards their one friend. He was denying it. But Seojun knew. He knew.

He was the one.

"You truely loved. Didn't you?" He whimpered as he turned away from the couple smiling in eachother's arms.

He walked briskly towards the exit. The bell rang indicating the students to go to their respective classes for the first lesson. But he couldn't care less. He wanted to get out of there. He really wanted to.

"Where do you think you're going Han Seojun?" He heard a voice call from behind of him. Soojin stood on the side. Her eyes gazing at him with inspection.

"If you don't want to go to the class, it's okay. But I see you're not very happy. What happened?" The last sentence was soft. Seojun shook his head. "I saw it. Do you like Jugyeong?" She asked right away. Seojun looked at her and shook his head. Right now, no words seemed to leave his mouth. It was as if a lump stuck on his throat.

"So perhaps, it's about Suho isn't it?" Seojun looked at her with wide eyes. He didn't say anything but she just gave him a sad smile, "I know how it feels. Here's a secret. Even I like Jugyeong. After all that crush on Suho just because my parents looked up at him. I realised even I was looking up at him. It wasn't love. After he left I realised that."

Seojun just stared at her and turned around to leave. "I just...know how you feel. But one can't force love." Was the last words he heard from Soojin as he walked pass her.

He felt guilty. Really guilty for liking him. For all he knew. Not getting love back did hurt. But what hurt more was when you can't love someone freely. When you have to hide under and keep yourself low. Because you know you don't have a chance. And falling for a straight guy wasn't always the best thing. But the worst part was when he couldn't even express he loved him. Either in actions or in words. In front of no one. Not even Suho. He didn't even have a close friend to share it with.

He was just lonely and he couldn't love freely at all. Keeping it shut was very painful and he knew now. What it felt like to secretly like someone who can never be yours.

He could never leave his mind. That made his days more lonely. And he couldn't stop day dreaming. He was so blindly in love. He felt like a fool. Pathetic fool. But one who is in love. With his ex-best friend.

Lee Suho.

— ⚜To be continued⚜ —

(A/N): I swear I will put an end to Seojun's sufferings very soon. And Jugyeong isn't so bad as we think-