Communion of Darkness & Light » Sigtryggr || The Last Kingdom

Prayer and Fasting

She dreamed of water. A baptismal font of nightmares, murky and unfathomable. Two nights of drowning in dark seas, she prayed through the days in the quiet of the chapel. None disturbed her there, not even her father. Certainly not her brothers. Neither took much interest in her other than making sure she was not ill or injured after her faint.

"Lord, I believe, help my unbelief," she breathed, hands knotted as she knelt at the altar. 

Candles flickered against the brilliant stained glass that her father had ordered specially for her devout mother. Aelfwynn had very little memory of the woman who had given birth to her. Aethelstan's wife had died of a fever. Aelfwynn was five years old and had suffered from the same illness. She had nearly succumbed to it as well. Her father had doted on her ever since.

She never wanted for anything. If she hinted at an impulsive desire, new colored ink or a script that she had heard of from one of the monks, it was provided if it was in her father's power. 

She had been spoiled, she saw that now. However, she couldn't blame her father. He loved her. She had only been a stupid, selfish child to not recognize the reality of her situation. Of course, she had always been destined for marriage, not the convent. 

As the only daughter of a Lord, a man of both Saxon and Dane loyalties, she was a valuable commodity. Aethelstan had shielded her from her fate for as long as she could. Granted, she was old for marriage. She knew of some girls that were her age and had been married for four or five years. She would be eighteen at the end of the month.

It was a month's time till the pagan warrior called Sigtryggr would claim her as his bride. 

"Lord, I beg for your mercy. Intercede on my behalf, Father in Heaven," she prayed fervently. "Preserve me from temptation, from the maw of Satan."

In Sigtryggr's inquisitive glance, she had seen the enticement of Lucifer. With eyes as mossy green as the thick leaves of Eden's tree, he had peered into her soul. He wanted her, not for her body, but for what their union would give him. He would take the land offered to him by means of their marriage and desecrate it with his heathen kind. They would bring more of their wicked ways to the shores of her country, marring all the good that King Alfred had brought during his reign.

This was about more than preserving the purity of her body. It was about protecting the land of her birth.

"Father, please, let the devil be cut down in his plans. I ask for your divine protection of this country. Don't let the pagans from across the sea lead your faithful astray-"

Footsteps sounded behind her. She bowed her head, tucking her chin tight to her chest, as she mumbled the Lord's prayer. A figure dropped down beside her.

"... lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil," Osferth joined in with her as she finished. "Have you eaten today?"

"I am fasting."

"I see. Three days of it, so I'm told."

"I will for as long as the Lord needs me to in order for His will to be seen on earth. Just as the Hebrew prophet Elijah fasted and prayed for the drought over unrepentant Israel," she snapped, clasping her trembling hands in her lap. "I am doing this for the good of us all."

Osferth lifted her chin with his knuckles and looked down into her fevered expression. His broad forehead creased with concern, mouth tight in consternation. "Christ suffered the torment of hell after death for three days. I believe, as His child, He would wish to see you raised from the dead after a similar amount of time. Come. Let's go eat something."

Rising to his feet, Osferth held out a hand to her. Aelfwynn could never say no to the monk that had been a surrogate son to her father. She took his hand and wearily rose to her feet. Her head swam. Perhaps she had been a touch zealous.

"I wish to speak with you," he murmured calmly, tucking her hand under his elbow. "I have some food prepared for you outside."     

She obeyed, numb to anything but anxiety. Her mind swam with scripture and prayer. The solidity of Osferth beside her brought her some comfort. She winced in the bright sunlight as they walked out into the courtyard. Beside one of the shady trees, a little picnic was laid out. Dropping onto the grass, she descended on the bread and cheese. 

"Good. Now drink," Osferth said, closing her hand around a cup of wine.

The world slowly came back into focus. 

"You have the faith of a lion, but you are also wise. You cannot make wise decisions when you deprive your body of what it needs," Osferth advised, reclining comfortably on the early summer wild flowers now that she was regaining sanity. 

She snorted. "Decision? You say that like I have some choice in this."

Osferth wrinkled his nose, peeling the leaves from a weed in his warrior's hands. "Perhaps not. But you have a choice in how you see it."

"How?" She demanded, draining her cup.

"Did you ever consider what God's word says on marriage with a unbeliever? If Sigtryggr is willing to live with you as a husband, your union might bring him to salvation."

"As if that were possible. Danes. They are all the same-"

"Are they? You of all people shouldn't be so quick to assume. Your father?"

Chastised, Aelfwynn shot a sulky look at her empty plate. Osferth was right. Her own father had been a jarl of the Danes, one of their great leaders. He had killed a godly Lord, tortured him and watched him suffer. Then, by the grace of God, he had found salvation.

"Can this man... could he not be seeking the same thing and not know it? He is a man of peace, I've seen it firsthand. He is not like others of his kind. He holds no joy in bloodshed or torment. He wants only to find a home for his people because he cares for them. And not at the expense of others. Is that not an admirable quality?"

Shifting uncomfortably, Aelfwynn rose to her feet and paced. "You are claiming then that he is... honorable?"

Osferth gave a knowing nod, jutting out his prominent chin. "Yes, I would. Even Uhtred would agree."

"Uhtred, the pagan? That isn't saying much."

Osferth smirked. "Nonetheless, Sigtryggr is nothing that we have seen on our shores. He is special. Like your father."

Aelfwynn shivered. Wrapping her arms around her torso, she peered up at the sky. It was nearly sunset.

"Perhaps," she allowed him.

"Will you return to the chapel?"

"No," she heaved a breath. "I am beyond weary. God is faithful to the faithful and He has heard my prayers. I must sleep."

Her dreams on the third night were not of water, but a labyrinth of chaos and stained glass. Through the muted light and swirls of color, a tree grew by a river. In the golden light of a new day, white flowers blossomed among it's bows. There was no serpent in sight.

She woke to a new day. The sun had barely broken over the eastern horizon. Restless but renewed, she pulled a dark red surcoat over her shift and left her hair undone around her shoulders. 

She was drawn down to the river.