Karen and Cathy's trip to Walmart

Walmart time baby!

(Karen and Cathy both enter a normal looking walmart, with Cathy pushing a shopping trolley, they are both already annoyed and they have only just entered the shop.)

Cathy: Jesus fucking christ, how did they not see my car there? I even parked over the line so even the dumbest of people could see it was there.
Karen: I know right? I want to talk to his manager, that bitch needs to give you a refun- what the fuck is going on here?

(they stare confused as they turn to look at ex president Bryce Tankthrust who is muttering quietly to herself and looking around frantically)

Karen: what the fuck is the ex president doing in this walmart?
Cathy: And why is she so frantic?
Karen: I don’t know but it can’t be good, maybe if we help her we’ll get some money?
Cathy: Sounds like a good idea, lets go ask.

(They walk up to Bryce)

Karen: E-exuse me, Miss Tankthrust, do you need help with anything?
Bryce: I appear to have loss my fucking boyfriend. I don't know where the fuck he is and he WILL commit crimes if left unattended for to long.
Cathy: Well, what does he look like? If we find him we’ll bring him back to you.
Bryce: If you see a small man wearing all black and the first things you think about him are “bastard” and “twink” that's him.
Karen: Ok, well if we see him we’ll let you know, see you later.
Cathy: Bye!

(Karen and Cathy walk off into the refrigerated ailes as Bryce goes back to muttering and cursing under her breath.)

Karen: Why does she have a boyfriend?
Cathy: omg you can't just ask people why they have a boyfriend.
Karen: Why not?
Cathy: Because you used to have a fucking husband.
Karen: And? He wasn’t my boyfriend.

(Before Cathy has the chance to fucking kill her, she notices her brother, Blame, with his boyfriend Duke. They are drinking orange juice straight from the bottle and they aren’t paying for it. They are also high.)

Duke: Yoo this orange juice is fucking lit
Blame: Couldn’t have said it better myself dawg.
Cathy: (filled with panic) Walk faster and he might not see us.
Blame: dawg look over there, it’s my fucking sister
Duke: Blame, you never told me your sister was Lebinease.
Cathy: (walking over to them, Karen just behind her) Actually I’m bisexual.
Duke: Oh sorry, I couldn’t tell you were Baltic.
Blame: Dawg that’s not even one fucking country.
Cathy: anyway, what the fuck are you two doing in here?
Blame: we’re here to look for things that would make us more gay and mabey more high.
Cathey: (sighing) and how high are you already?
Blame: Six feet. Anyway, what are you doing here?
Cathy: we were just going to see more managers.
Karen: And now we're here to look for Bryce Tankthrust’s boyfriend.
Cathy: He’s a public safety hazard, apparently, so we need to find him.
Blame: Ohhh I know who you're talking about, I smoked weed with him once, it was weird.
Duke: What is it with you and finding the weirdest twinks when you give them weed?
Blame:
Duke: What?
Blame:
Duke: What?
Blame: (softley) Dawg, that’s literally how we meet.
Duke: oh
Blame: (back in his normal voice) Anyway, do you need help finding him?
Cathy: no-
Karen: yes please, we haven't found him yet
Cathy: (whispering) Bitch
Blame: hell yeah, lets fucking go!
Duke: WOOOOO!!!

(They turn a corner, only to find some smashed glass and a Elmer looking over it, staring as emotionless as ever but you can tell he’s pissed)

Karen: What the fuck happened here?
Elmer: I think we’re gonna have to issue the Bobby Worst alarm, this is the third time today i have seen glass smashed on the floor in the shape of a dick and I don’t want to clean it up again.

(The four of them look more closely at the glass on the floor and make surprised noises as they realise the Elmer is correct about the shape of the glass.)

Duke: oh pog!
Blame: We were actually just looking for him, do you know where he could have gone dawg?
Elmer: He went into the cereal aisle I think, it shouldn’t be too long before you find him.
Blame: Thanks!

(The gang then head for the cereal aisle, as Elmer licks up the all the glass in one go)

Cathy: Wait, Bryce is dating Bobby Worst?
Blame: Yeah dawg, since Elementary school, or at least that’s what Bobby said.
Duke: he just kept going on and on about her-
Karen: Wait, he’s attracted to women?
Blame: Fucking apparently.
Karen: I thought those pale shits he keeps by him were his boyfriends?
Blame: I mean same but I don’t think they are.

(The four of them finally reach the cereal aisle. There they see Bobby, sat in the middle of the aisle like a moon bear, eating fruit loops “straight” from the box.)

Cathy: Bastard
Karen: Twink
Blame: Yeah that’s what everyone says about him.

(Bobby looks up from the fruit loops box and looks directly at Blame)

Bobby: Yo Blame, you want some?
Blame: (visually uncomfortable and stammering somewhat.) No thanks dawg, anyway, apparently Bryce is looking for you.
Bobby: Holy shit she is?
Duke: Did you even know she was in here?
Bobby: … No, not really.
Cathy: Why on earth are you eating cereal without any fucking milk?
Bobby: I want the fucking crunch, now mind your god damn buissness. Anyway, where is Bryce?
Karen: She was at the front the last time we saw her.
Bobby: Well we should probably get going then.

(Bobby stands up and turns around to see if there are any crumbs on his cape, but then he looks up in horror. To his surprise, there is an Elmer threateningly brandishing a broom and running towards him at high speeds)

Bobby: (turning back towards the group) Fucking run!

(Bobby sprints into the trolley as Blame and Duke jump in it. Bobby then starts to push the trolley with them in it towards the front of the walmart. Karen and Cathy are behind them.)

Bryce: (Upon seeing the them coming towards her) What in dicks fuck is going on here?
Bobby: (panting) Elmer.. with broom … get out the store … quick.
Bryce: Are you high again?

(Before Bobby can answer, the Elmer is suddenly in view again, licking his lips and brandishing the broom)
Bryce: This still doesn't answer my question.
Bobby: Shit not again. Run!

(Bobby sweeps Bryce up into his arms like a bride and runs out the store, leaving the others in the store. The Elmer, upon seeing this, goes back to the cereal aisle, presumably to clean up the mess.)

Karen:... what the fuck?
Cathy: I couldn’t tell you.
Duke: Hey Blame, want to go be gay in the car park?
Blame: Dawg it’s called a parking lot, but yeah sure.
Duke: Bye gals, sorry for assuming you were Lebinise earlier!

(Duke and Blame then leave the store to go have homosexual fun time in the car park. As this is happening, Karen checks her phone)

Karen: Fuck, we’re late to get the kids from school.
Cathy: Shit ok then, guess we’ll yell at managers tomorrow.

(They leave the store and that's where it ends. Gay rights baby!!)