BKA: Boomer Kills Assassin

BKA

In the present we prepare for the future, so the future can be better than the past.

The present is where we start. We are in Brussels, on the corner by the coffee shop and east 5th, innit? There's a man covered in syrup running from 3 green mini coopers all with chickens and about 18 coconutties. The man's name is John and he doesn't like pineapples because he is from Paris.

The chickens driving the mini coopers are screaming as their little featherless wings honk the hornz. The chickens are also all drunk as well as racist, because they are scottish.

The bystanders watching this go down are also all screaming except for her majesty the queen who is watching on with quite delight, as she is nibbling on a piece of chalk flavored glizzy. The queen's guard is surrounding the queen with 30-30's and swords.

Now, how did this escapade begin? Well, John was the winner of a 19 quid fortnite card and celebrated like he was Charlie bucket. He listened to the fortnite rap starring ninja and Charlie D'Amelio, as well as drake and jake from State Farm. Kanye North came to his flat and congratulated him but right as he was leaving a bomb set off in his wardrobe that killed superstar Kanye North.

Obviously, this quite frightened our young John who attempted to flee the scene before being found by Kanye's guard. Unbeknownst to him he was being watched by an assassin on the roof of another flat. As he was jumping from his window Kanye's bodyguards found him and called out to the others to chase after. He fell about 15 stories onto the pavement but luckily had experience falling from such heights so he took minimal damage to his cerebral cortex as his face hit the ground.

After the fall he ran north and hid from the approaching guards in an unsuspecting alleyway. Unfortunately, he was among multiple French and it turned out he was in a French only club. He tried to fit in but they realized that he was a bit sus and kicked him by vote.

Now back on the street John continued running and happened to stumble upon a farmhouse where multiple chickens were being raised. The building was set to be destroyed because of a much needed expansion to the local factory which brought in many jobs for the economy.

As John entered the shoppe he realized that all the chickens were female and were incredibly anxious and were very much attracted to john because of his chicken like physique. The chickens immediately broke the glass of their cages and violently chased John out of the shop and towards the factory.

What ensued was quite a scooby-doo like comic scene which was very cartoony in nature and cannot be very well explained using the English language.

By the end of this episode the chickens had accidentally gotten on to the manufacturing line and caused much chaos as well as killed an Asian woman by means of feather torture. The chickens continued to chase John while multiple were able to get into mini coopers and somehow oriented themselves to be able to drive the vehicles.

Now that there chickens in minicoopers john was very scared and ran very fast out of the factory. Fortunately for john the chickens had no clue how to shift up the cars so they were unable to go above john's current speed.

The chickens followed john all the way to the highway where multiple crashes as well as fires occurred. John was lucky enough to get away unscathed where he made it to safety in the queens yard.

However, the assassin from earlier led the chickens to john so that there would be no witnesses for the murdrer of Kanye North which further backs up that the present is more important than the future because he didn't want anything bad to happen to him in the future which he decides in the present.

Now the chickens, still in mini coopers, are driving towards John now at 2nd gear. They chase John all the way to the gates of the queen's castle where the queen is having dinner with some guests. The guests, from France, are quite appalled and afraid at this fiasco and begin to escape the area. However, the queen remains and begins chuckling to herself over this rather hilarious sight.

The assassin, seeing as he could go down in history as the man who killed the queen, takes aim at the queen and fires a sniper round directly at her forehead. In a complete and utter turn around of event the bullet pings right off of the queen's epidermis and lands in her tea. She looks at the direction the bullet came, and opens her eyes very wide. Out from her eyes come lasers which pierce through the heart of the assassin.

The assassin dies from his wounds and is retrieved by a special ops team which burn his body in a Viking funeral. The queen, grateful for John's bravery, knights John right there and then and relieves him of all his previous transgressions against the state.

John now lives happily because of his quick thinking and chicken friends. This is why the present is more important than the future, because the present decided what John's future looked liek.