Ablaze , ᶦᵛʸ

c.1

Bruised, but alive, Emlyn streaked her fingers across the window. The warmth of the Australian heat spread to her skin, and she flinched at the touch, the vivid memory of the fire from mere weeks ago still engraved in her head. "Son of a bitch," she muttered. "We need to get out of here," she said with a note of finality in her voice.

"You realize I can't just up and leave with you. I have a family, Emmers."

Emlyn whirled around to face Jasmine, the girl who saved her life from the fire that killed her parents, and the girl she had been pining after for quite a few months, nearing a year to be precise.

Now she was all alone, an orphan with no remaining familial roots, none that were alive as far as she knew— her family was tight knit and didn't know many other people.

"I know," Emlyn replied, and it stung to know that her only family had others to take care of and to be with than her, who depended solely on Jasmine. "God, I just... I can't be here anymore, Jazzy," she said softly. "It's too much for me, everything keeps crashing down onto me— I need to leave, go somewhere else and get a fresh start."

"Yeah... I know you do, Ems, but I can't leave you and I can't leave my family... and oh, hell, you are my family. That's what makes this so much harder for me..." her voice trailed off.

"Stay with me," Emlyn pleaded. She knew how selfish it was but she couldn't help herself. The girl who saved her, who nursed her back to life, who took care of her when she was down, the girl who promised her she wouldn't read a single chapter more than they would together, because they had fun bonding over their favorite books and she knew how much Emlyn hated spoilers, the girl who... who she had been in love with for so long and couldn't imagine spending her life with anyone else but her.... she couldn't let her leave her like that.

Jasmine slipped off the small sofa, and walked quickly to the kitchenette, cupping Emlyn's face. "You know I would if I could, baby," Jaz murmured, rubbing her fingers in soothing circles on Emlyn's cheeks.

"Why can't you?" Emlyn mumbled hoarsely, all the words she wanted to say trapped in her throat.

"Because my family... They... you know them. You know who they are." Jasmine kissed the end of Emlyn's lips tenderly, pressing her forehead against hers. "I'm so glad I was about to come over... I- I would've... the thought that I would've lost you if I didn't-" she cut herself off in her tranced mumble.

"Me too," agreed Emlyn quietly. She wrapped her arms snugly around Jasmine and hid her face in her shoulder, dry sobs rocking their bodies.

Jasmine hugged Emlyn tightly, pulling her as closely as she dared, kissing her cheek, neck crevice, ear, head, anywhere she could. "Please, I'm— I care for you so much Em."

"Then stay," sobbed Emlyn, her face devoid of any tears but the expression she held showed how broken inside she truly was.

Her skin was covered in bruises and burns all over her body, her face, but Jasmine stared back at her, still seeing her every bit as beautiful as before the fire.

"You're an angel, you're so perfect," Jasmine whispered into the air, and Emlyn shook in her arms, her sobs growing louder. "I can't leave Joey and Zara with them," Jasmine cried, tears spouting from her eyes like faucets, water dripping down her face and her lips twisted at the edges. She looked destroyed. Both of the girls did. They both had survived their own battles, and this was the aftermath. Of course, they both had different paths to go on, and it pained them so to know they couldn't be with one another anymore. This... was their journey as one ended. They must part and go their separate ways now.

"I love you," Emlyn blurted out, not regretting it one bit. If she'd have to break up with her now, she may as well confess to the full extent of her feelings for Jasmine.

Jasmine didn't look surprised one bit. "I love you more."

The two exchanged broken glances and they stayed like that, enveloped in each other's arms, supported against the kitchenette's counter, for another half hour, making out, their lips almost never leaving each other's, for fear that if they did, it would truly mean goodbye.

Jasmine draped her arms around Emlyn as they wobbled off to the couch.

The two had a very emotional round together, making love to each other for what would be the last time, and definitely the most memorable.

***

Emlyn tugged the zipper shut, hauling her luggage up to the doorway. "There's not one way to do this," she said shortly, running her hand through her hair— it had been cut short, made into a bob since the fire had done too much damage to it to keep it long.

"There really isn't. Goddammit, I hate this so fucking much!" Jasmine yelled, hiding her face in her hands. She sunk to the floor, her back sliding down the wall as she did.

"Jazzy, don't cry, don't cry," begged Emlyn. "I love you, please don't cry."

Jasmine peeked through her fingers, tears rolling down the backs of her hands.

"Listen baby, this is so hard for both of us but I know we don't have another choice. Unless you can bring Zara and Joey with us—" Emlyn's eyes brightened, her sunken features pulling a desperate, hopeful smile across her face. "What if we did that— we could bring them with us, sure it'd be expensive but it'd be worth it, if you could know, they'd just be safe with us and you wouldn't keep worrying about them—"

Jasmine shook her head, misery coating her doe like chocolate brown eyes. They were rich with the tears of tragedy, and the lights from the kitchen shone into them like headlights— and she was caught in the middle, trapped, frozen.

"Please. We could, we could," Emlyn rambled, chewing on her fingernails as she looked at Jasmine, her bare knees pressed against the rough surface of the carpet. She rested her chin on Jasmine's legs, staring at her lover with nothing more than unadulterated distress and grief. Deep down, she knew that whatever surface level ideas were coming to her wouldn't last long.

"I wish," sniffed Jasmine. "But you know it's not possible. Long term... that kind of thing just wouldn't work."

"We're both 18, our birthdays were this year, we can get jobs," Emlyn carried on, her voice quivering and her hands trembling.

"It's not that easy! Just because we have the age minimum for most jobs doesn't mean we can snap our fingers and magically get good jobs with good wages so we can support a family!" Jasmine burst out, peeling her fingers off her face, unearthing her palms to be slick with tears. "It'd be so hard, Emmie. I've never actually done a paid job before in my whole damn life. All I've done is work at my house all day, working to help us survive. But what I've done, I've got no experience, nothing! I'd be useless!" she rasped.

"No you wouldn't be—"

"Shut the hell up!" Jasmine gasped, furiously wiping at her cheeks. "I would be. And you know it. It'd be just like providing for my own family except I've also got you to worry about. And, and, I can't do that. I love you too much, it'd be such a shitty life for us to both live."

"I know but what else can we do but try? Try at least, see if we can make it? If we don't even give it a shot, then who knows if we could've had a better life—" Emlyn rang out, her tone lacking any real optimism but her words holding a definite determination to them. "Please. Please. We just gotta... we gotta at least try, Jaz."

She stared hopefully back at Jasmine, hoping for the answer that could potentially change their lives for the better or the worse, but at least there was a maybe for improvement with that option, the other one didn't have much positivity in it— only to flinch back as Jasmine stood on her feet, fresh tears smearing her cheeks, saying the one word Emlyn was praying that she wouldn't say, the word that shattered her heart to pieces, shards. All her future, their future. Gone. By that one simple, "No."