This Means War || H.S

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Autumn's POV

"What do you mean they know Harry?" Harry and I have been on a fine line all morning, and we're one argument away from exploding. The hallucinations I experienced yesterday influenced my trust for him and I couldn't help but be apprehensive around him. Growing up with bruises leaves me not wanting anything to do with someone that would hurt me. Deep down I know that Harry wouldn't hurt me physically, but I know he's hurt me mentally before. I'm trying to distance myself from him, mainly so I don't end up hurting him somehow.

"I mean the entire way home they were all staring at me. When you spaced out I was yelling for you, they must have heard I'm sorry I was being careless." Blacking out yesterday left me in a panic once we got home. I took a shower until my skin began to look like a giant raisin. Harry kindly brushed my hair out once I was dressed in a large sweater and socks. My ankle hurt yesterday and continues to hurt today because we don't have the caliber of pain pills to stop it.

"How could you be so ignorant Harry? You just signed your own death certificate." I shouldn't be screaming at him, I'm aware that he's as helpless as I am in this situation. I sit on the unmade bed in the outfit I fell asleep in yesterday. Harry is pacing the room, his steps uneven, almost driving me insane. He couldn't help now what happened yesterday but a part of me is still extremely angry with him for it. He could be dead any second, and I too for associating with him.

"Don't you think I realize that now? Excuse me for panicking when you where staring into space like a lunatic!" His words continue to cut deep as they have all morning. We woke up early to commotion outside that we still haven't identified. As soon as they know that one person from Britain was among them they were bound to freak.

"Quit saying that about me!" I cross my arms like a child. He'd been saying that all morning, that I was acting like a lunatic. The first time I shrugged it off. The next I stumbled into my room for some time to think. After that he barged in here accusing me of ruining our lives, calling me a lunatic, nutcase, idiot, fool, a psychopath. It wasn't my fault, I've seen bad things in my life and everything is building up to a point of no return.

"Why should I? I've done nothing to get us caught really. If you hadn't done that we wouldn't be in this mess. You're a freak," his screams frighten me to the point of tears. I stare up into his eyes as the tears stream down my cheeks. His hard expression softens until his lip begins to quiver. My head shakes slowly before I bury my face in a pillow, trying to escape his eyes. As I try to gain my composure my body shakes with sobs. I find strength to look at him again over my shoulder.

"Why do you hate me so much now Harry? What have I done," I beg for his answer. He shakes his head side to side before joining me on the bed. His arms wrap around my body and my tears immediately begin to sole through his t-shirt. I feel his shaky hands against my back as he kisses my head over and over again. Constant whispers leave his lips when they are not against my hair.

"I will never hate you," his words calm every inch of me. "What's happening to us Harry?" My voice shakes without reason, leaving me feeling weak and useless. "There is no honeymoon phase in the middle of a war darling. We're both stressed and terrified out of our minds, we can't help it. Eventually a day will come when this war is behind us and we can live a happy life together, but for now we just have to weather through the storm." A flutter runs through my heart as his words send butterflies to my stomach. "You want your future to be with me?"

"I wouldn't want to be with anyone else," his finger runs up and down my arm slowly, leaving goosebumps coursing across my skin. His lips connect with the skin of my shoulder and slowly find their way up to my neck. A small moan leaves my lips when he pays special attention to the skin behind my ear. But when his hand reaches for my shirt my heart stops. I grab his hand to stop his actions and he looks at me with an unreadable expression.

"Harry I'm not ready for that," I whisper. I expected him to be understanding but his features tell me that's not the truth. He glares at me coldly leaving me with more than a few questions. "What do you mean you're not ready?" His tone is cold and hard, showing no signs of compassion. "I mean that I'm not ready to go that far. I thought you would understand."

"It's not like you haven't done it before," he spits out. I sit up slowly in fear of what's to come in this argument but he only glares at me still. "Harry those times were all forced, you know what happened. And I'm not mentally ready for that yet, I'm sure I'd end up panicking. Besides, if you want to do that, that means that you care for me so waiting shouldn't be such a problem."

"No, if you care for me you'll do it to please me, not avoid it so you can be happy." I'm shocked, more than shocked really. This isn't like him, this harshness. I understand that we'd been arguing all morning and we just made up but this is no way to treat me right? "Don't you want me to make you feel good," Harry's hand slides slowly up my leg. When I try to move his strength overpowers mine, leaving me trapped in my place. "Stop it Harry." His hand slips into my underwear before pulling it down. "You're so beautiful Autumn," he purrs. "Harry stop it now. I said no," he straddles me keeping me locked in place as he undoes the button of his pants.

"Please stop Harry," I'm now crying as he positions himself in front of me. "Just relax," I squirm and scream but he quickly covers my mouth as he enters me. "No," my screams are muffled by his hand. This continues until his release that leaves me crying more and him groaning above me. "That was so good love," he pants. I rip his hand off of my mouth in his vulnerable state and run to the bathroom. My stomach is covered in his release so I decide to shower for as long as humanly possible.

"Autumn, stop. Snap out of it," Harry holds me sitting in his lap when my eyes dart open. "What?" "You blacked out again. I need to take you to a doctor love." I nod lightly and bury my face in his shoulder. "What did you see?" My heart stops, there's no judging just how he'll react. "I don't want to talk about it," I mumble and he nods kindly. "Don't worry love, I'm here to protect you." This is the Harry that I know.

**a/n I hope you enjoyed. Please! Don't forget to vote and comment it means the world. Thank you lovelies. xx**