Viciously in Love

Sixty six.

Songs for this chapter: - All I Want - Kodaline
- The Night We Met - Lord Huron

"Are you sure you didn't forget anything?" Liz asks me for the one hundredth time.

"Yes, I'm sure, Liz. Thank you." I hug her.

I'm only a few minutes away from getting in that plane and going back to my life.

"I'm going to miss you, sweetie." she says when we break the hug. "Take care of yourself, ok? And don't be a stranger." she smiles and wipes off a few tears that got away.

"I promise." I smile doing my best not to cry.

"Nicole!"

I look behind Liz and I see Kelly, Matthew and Nate running towards us.

So far with not crying.

"What are you guys doing here?" I ask before Kelly jumps into me and hugs me one last time.

"You didn't think you get to leave without a proper goodbye, did you?" Nate says joining the hug.

"You really thought I'd let my best friend leave without saying goodbye?" Kelly says after she pulls back from the hug.

"We saw each other yesterday." I laugh.

"And you're leaving today." Nate mumbles and Kelly approves him.

I'll miss them so much.

I hug Kelly again and I close my eyes trying to block the tears.

"I promised I won't cry." I whisper.

"So did I." she whines.

"Thank you, Kelly." I grab her hand after we break the hug. "Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for being here for me. Thank you for teaching me stuff. Thank you for making me a better person. Thank you for being in my life." we wipe our tears at the same time and we laugh. "Thank you for giving me some of my best memories here. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for suffering me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being amazing." I smile and I hug her again. "Don't forget me."

"I will never forget your amazing ass." she says and we both laugh. We pull back from the hug and we laugh again when we see our faces. "You already know I love you, so I'm just going to jump to the whole don't forget me part." we laugh again. "But seriously... Thank you for being in my life, Nicole."

We hug again then Nate coming and hugs me too telling me he loves my ass too.

"Take care of Kelly, please. I have a feeling she'll get in trouble during her senior year." I laugh.

"Oh, yeah. We have a lot of plans." he laughs and hugs me again. "You're an amazing person. I love you so much." he pulls back from the hug. "Thank you for giving me the honor to meet you." he smiles then takes a step back.

"I told Nate to take care of Kelly because I need you to take care of Jake." I look at Matthew and he smiles. "Just because I'm leaving doesn't mean I want his ass back in trouble. I worked a lot on him."

"I'll take care of them both. I promise you." he smiles.

I hug Liz again and I thank her too.

"Thank you for being my doctor." I laugh. "You helped me through a lot. Thank you for being so caring and thoughtful. And thank you for being my family. I appreciate that." I smile and I hug her again.

I take a few steps back and I look at my friends and family again.

I know I'm going home to my old life... But I accidentally built one here too. And I would give anything to not have to chose.

"Wait. You forgot about Jake." Kelly stops me when I want to turn around.

"We already said our goodbyes." I say biting my lip so I wouldn't cry.

I can't even look at him without feeling my heart break over and over again.

"Fuck it." he says.

He comes closer and hugs me and I let him. For the last time, I let him in. For the last time, I feel his touch. For the last time, I savor his perfume. And for the last time I let myself love him. Just for now, I love him more than anything in the world. I focus only on him, being here... because once I turn around and I get in that plane, everything will be over. He'll be gone. My friends will be gone. Liz will be gone... Everything will stay here. And I will be going back to my life. My life without Kelly and Nate bugging each other. My life without Liz giving me advices. My life without Jake in it.

I keep my eyes closed and I pull back from the hug.

"I love you." I whisper.

He doesn't say it back. For a few seconds he just looks at me. Then he grabs my face and he kisses me. He kisses me like his life depends on it. He kisses me like that would solve everything. And I kiss him like my life would depend on him. Because it does. I depend on him. After so many months spent together, I got addicted to him. To his smile, his lips, his touch, his voice, his presence. Him. I kiss him and I try to let go of all the pain, the love and he memories at the same time. I hold on to him while I try to let go. I tell him I love him while I try to stop. I smile at him while I'm crying. I look him in the eyes while all I want to do is see me through his eyes one more time. The last time.

"I love you with every shred of my soul, princess." he whispers, his voice breaking.

"I love you with every shred of my soul, idiot." I smile.

I finally gather the strength to turn around. I take my baggage and I start waking away from them and towards my old life. Every step I take hurts more and more, but I don't stop. I don't look back. They're gone now. They're just a nice dream I had last night. But I'm awake now.