I'm In Trouble Deeper

One

She had been angry at first- their baby boy was one, for Pete's sake! And he'd grow up for years not knowing he had a Dad- he'd be confused for four years, and think dropping by for two weeks every six months or so was what a normal Dad did. She was angry- but he was pissed.

She knew when she had initially tried to talk him out of it, it was a futile effort. When he decided something, there was no going back. So she reluctantly agreed, and gave him some very good incentive to come back to her. Up until she was kissing him goodbye in the airport, they hadn't spent a minute apart from each other.

When he came back for rest and relaxation, she was ecstatic, but noted it was different than the first time he had gone away. Maybe it was because he was older, and he had seen more bad things happen. She knew that wasn't the truth, but she hated to think what was truth. She made it her mission when he was back in the US, that she'd make sure he knew she loved him with all her heart, and nothing he'd see or hear would ever change that.

"I think it's different this time," Linda Reagan sighed as she put Jack down for a nap. If she was being honest, she needed a nap as well.

"How come?" Erin Reagan, Linda's sister in law, wondered.

"I don't know. He seems... distant."

"My understanding is seeing bodies getting blown up will do that to you."

"I just wish he was here," she walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, Erin following behind. "I'm basically a single mother. And I know he had to go because of the Terrorists attacks but... I wish he would come back."

"At least there's only two more years to his tour. One really."

"Even if there was three months left... I would cry myself to sleep the first months after he left. I still do, because I know what can happen. I've seen what happens to Veterans who see a lot. And I keep telling myself 'that won't happen to him. It didn't happen the last time, so it won't this time. And Danny's smart- he'll see the signs'...."

Erin could tell her sister in law wanted to say more. "He'll be okay, Linda."

She felt like snapping at her, telling her nobody is okay after a freaking war... but she doesn't. "I'm just so tired. Jack's been sick and running me ragged, and I can't sleep without Danny."

Erin was going to argue that she slept fine for Danny's first tour, but that tour was so different. Danny didn't really have a choice- he barely passed high school, worked various different jobs for six months, then went into the Marines. Linda was finishing high school, and was in college when Danny had proposed during an R&R. Whenever he was back in the states, the fiancés would end up sleeping in one bed- whether it be his in his old room or hers in her apartment. She had been married to him for almost six years now, and was so used to him being beside her.

"I'm sorry, Linda." Erin didn't know what else to say. "Maybe I can take Jack off your hands for a little bit? An afternoon, maybe, so you can get some rest?"

Linda smiled, "thank you. But not until he's better. I won't hand off my sick baby to someone."

"I'll see you at dinner then?"

"Definitely." It was lonely eating by herself, with only a two year old for company. She ate with her in-laws (usually at Danny's parents' house) whenever she could.

**********

When Linda arrived at her parents in law's house, her mother in law immediately took Jack from her arms. She chuckled and followed Mary into the kitchen. "You need a baby fix, huh?"

"I just miss all my babies. They're all grown and out of the house now."

"They're still your children. And they're all-" she was going to say "all here for Sunday dinners", but they weren't all there for Sunday dinners. "Anyway, how're you doing? You gettin' enough sleep?"

"Oh, I'm fine," Mary put Jack in his chair.

Linda didn't believe that. "What can I do to help?"

**********

When her husband came back in late 2001, she was ecstatic. She spent all her free time with him and their son, and was devastated when he had to go back to that hell hole. She didn't see him again until mid- 2002.

**********

He probably should have called her- she'd be mad that he didn't- but wouldn't it be better to surprise her? He had arranged it with his brother, and had it all planned out. Joe was going take Jack to the park to feed the ducks and get a super sized sundae, meaning Linda would be home alone- a perfect opportunity to surprise his wife.

Danny Reagan had missed a lot of things about New York, the number one thing being his wife and son. His family quickly followed secondly, then real food, and finally the atmosphere of New York. Even though everyone was cranky and the air was polluted and everything was crazy expensive, he missed it.

He met Joe outside the thirteenth precinct (Joe had complained bitterly about how that was the unluckiest precinct in the tri-state area), and the two grabbed lunch. Danny expressed his thanks for his younger brother- who was just getting off a midnight shift.

"You just owe me big time, brother," because the last thing Joe wanted to do off a midnight tour was run after an excited toddler and then have to deal with a sugar crash. "And just so you know, I'm doing this for Linda."

Danny knew he was joking... maybe. Joe always did like Linda- too much of someone would ask Danny. But the younger brother never crossed a line- except maybe staring for too long- so Danny wasn't too worried about the obvious crush. "Whoever you're doing it for, I appreciate it." He smiled widely, "she's gonna be so surprised!"