Hide (Karlnap)

Chapter four

To whom it may concern,

    I'm pretty sure I'm writing to nobody at this point, who would care enough to read this?

   Today is the day that Sapnap comes, his flight took off an hour ago. I don't want him to see me, I'm too disgusting to love. Why did he say those words? To hurt me? Because he knew how I felt, and hated me?

    I try to be poetic, even when I'm just writing to nobody in here.  Because maybe then it'll be more entertaining to read.

  I want to meet Sapnap, but I don't think I'll get the chance.

Sincerely,
Karl Jacobs

I think I've had enough.

I dont remember the last time my wrists weren't lined with scars. I don't remember tha last day when I didn't want to die, the last sentence I said freely, trying to say goodbye the best I could. I'm done with goodbyes. I'm done with the lies, and false happy endings. I'm so sick of being betrayed. Done with hating myself, I think it's time I left.

I enter the bathroom for what feels like the final time. I bought six bottles of melatonin pills, and a pack of razor blades. I want to feel the pain, I deserve to suffer.

~~time skip brought to you by Goldfish~~

It's done. It's finally over.

I'm sorry mom. I was never good enough for you. I'm sorry that I couldn't save you, all those years ago.

I'm sorry dad. I'm so so sorry that I was such a cruel teenager. I know I drove you to drink, I know I ruined your life.

And to Lizzie. That fire was the worst day of my life. If I could take it all abck then I would. I would save you, and save mom, if I was strong enough. I was never a good brother to you, and I'm the reason that you're dead. Maye I'll see you soon.

To Sapnap. I am so endlessly sorry to you. I never should have been your friend, I didnt deserve you. And you dont deserve to have traveled all this way for it to be too late. I wish you could have saved me, I wish I could have been strong enough to meet you. But I'm just not. I want you to read my journal, it's hidden behind the bookshelves.

To everyone that I have hurt, simply by existing.. maybe one day you can learn to forgive me. But by then it will be too late.

Goodbye..

The note is written. It's time to go.

Fading faster and faster

A blur of color, yet I cannot see

A door creaking open, the once excited man behind suddenly seeing me.

At least I gave him my address..

At least I'm not dying alone

Accompanied by the soothing burn of seven cuts along broken wrists

I fade away

Only to awake in a hospital bed, flashing lights and blinking features staring back at me.

Why did I have to survive?

_______________________________/

You thought you could trust me >:)

KARL DOESNT DIE

Next chapter coming out tommorow. I'm sorry for being so inactive lately, there's been a lot going on with my family, and I've been very unmotivated.

:)