Forged in Frost and Fire (Book 1 in the Chronicles of Kings trilogy)

Chapter Thirty Eight

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Killer. The king's Killer. I should have known. I should have known I'd see what he was really like. Those stories about the king's deadly weapon didn't come out of thin air. They were real. He was a cold blooded killer through and through. And to think I'd let him hold me. I'd let him stroke my hair and tell me he wouldn't let me break. Bullshit. He'd probably be the one to take his boot and pulverise the cracked parts of me that were left.

I ran up a hill, through the trees. The forest was thick around me. Birds were chirping, the sun shining through the leaves. It felt terribly beautiful and contrasted against the darkness that was rising inside of me.

My skin started to warm under my fighting leather and I quickly yanked off my outer vest, letting it fall to the ground. I undid my gloves as well, unstrapped the belt from my pants. Everything from the cadre I wanted off. Everything that reminded me of Sable I wanted off. I ripped my hair out of the ponytail it was in and staggered through the forest, my white hair billowing out behind me.

"You're such a fucking idiot," I muttered. I threw out my hands and ice coated the forest floor. A shot of cold blasted through at least five trees, making them all snap and crash to the ground, making the floor shake under my feet. I should've stopped then, but letting my ice out...it felt so, so good. Too good.

I screamed and let my hands fall to my sides. My magic erupted out of them, spreading out everywhere until a good foot of snow covered the path in front of me. Ice formed on the branches of trees, and I heard a few birds squawk out in surprise at the change in temperature.

I had started to trust Sable Deidre. I had started to care for Sable Deidre. I had started to believe in Sable Deidre. And now...now I was starting to despise Sable Deidre. He was nothing but a two faced liar. That night he had been drowning in guilt I should've left him there. I should've left him to roil in his darkness and turned around and went back to sleep. I should have. But I didn't. My parents had always taught me to be caring.

"Well my parents are fucking dead, aren't they?" I let out another stream of magic, causing more trees to snap and thick snow started to fall from the sky. Wind whipped around me, cold and fierce. Another scream and more magic flowed from my palms. I let out a sharp sigh before turning in the other direction. I needed to get farther, I needed to explode in peace.

I continued onward, cursing myself. Elda had trusted me to be a spy. I had dedicated myself to her cause, the cause of stopping the unjustifiable war against the half fae. But instead of doing her proud, I had started to become somewhat close to the cruelest half-fae killer in all of Hiraeth. The man most loyal to the crown.

"Fucking idiot," I repeated. I said the words over and over again until they became like a mantra. I was so weak, so naive. I wasn't a warrior. I'd never rise to the ranks of Elda, or Anastasia, or Dimitri. I was nothing and I'd stay nothing. I laughed out loud, remembering how I once believed that I'd be able to contribute to stopping the war. Now I was frollicking with the fucking "cadre" of all people. The warrior group that was at the center of the war itself.

I didn't realize how far I had walked until the sound of roaring water made me stop. I paused, leaning against a tree. As soon as my hand touched the tree, it was encased in ice. "Well, isn't that just perfect," I muttered, removing my hand. In fact, everywhere I had been walking was now covered in snow and frost. Of fucking course.

I turned my attention back forward to see I had walked to a...waterfall of all places. I gaped at the rock structure in the middle of the forest. I walked over to the edge of the forest to see it dropped down to what appeared to be a lake. The waterfall had a stretch of space behind it, like a cave. I walked over to the space behind, my breathing heavy as I tried to calm the erratic breathing of my heart.