TELL

If That's What You Want

Maya sat beside her mother on the couch explaining what happened to her at school and why it happened.

"When we went to the ski lodge Josh-"

Her words faded out in Shawn's ears, he knew what he was saying, but nothing felt real. Cory's little brother, one of the Matthews family, had done something so awful to this little girl he had grown to love as a daughter. Part of him wanted to kill Josh and part of him wanted to hold Maya in his arms and never let her close to any boys again, but when Maya mentioned Lucas with a smile on her face he knew he couldn't do that. She had to move on from this pain and sorrow. All he wanted was for her to be happy and if being with Lucas would make her happy then he'd never stand in the way of that, but for the first time since he proposed to Katy he was scared. He wasn't scared to marry her or to become a family or to spend the rest of his life with the two girls he's grown so fond of, but he was scared of being a father. He was scared of failing Maya when she needed him and ever since he heard the words 'raped' and 'Josh' fall from her lips he felt like a complete failure. He should have been the chaperone. He should have been there as her father.

"I'm sorry." Shawn choked out.

Katy and Maya looked over at him.

Shawn swallowed the lump forming in his throat. "I should have been there for you, kiddo, to protect you."

Maya frowned and shook her head. "Why does everyone keep apologizing to me? You didn't do anything wrong. No one failed me." Maya stated. "Mr. and Mrs. Matthews were there, Riley was there, Lucas, Farkle, Zay.. No one could save me from this because no one knew it would happen. I didn't know it would happen." Maya licked her lips. "I thought highly of Josh and I told myself that I didn't deserve Lucas. I made myself choose Josh and I made Lucas choose Riley because I thought I didn't deserve a nice guy."

Katy sighed. "Baby girl, why would you think that? Of course you deserve a nice guy. You deserve to be happy."

Maya nodded. "I know that now, and I have Lucas." She grinned. "Josh can't hurt me anymore. I'm stronger than that. I'm stronger than him."

Shawn smiled. "Okay, but next field trip I am chaperoning." He stated leaving no room for argument.

"So am I." Katy announced making Maya groan. "Don't groan."

"Oh come on, both of you?! I'm not Riley! I don't need both parents to watch me like some toddler!"

"We're not watching you!" Shawn scoffed. "I'm gonna be watching any guy within a two foot radius of you!"

"And I am gonna make sure Shawn doesn't threaten any innocent boys just because he gets overprotective."

Maya chuckled. "I'm already gonna have Lucas, Farkle, Zay, Riley, the Matthews, and probably even Smackle being overprotective on the next trip. You two are not coming!"

Shawn huffed. "We'll see about that." He took out his phone. "Cory! Put me on the chaperone list for the next field trip!.. Yes, I trust you to watch after Maya.. No, I don't blame you, buddy. I just want to be there for Maya if she needs me.." Shawn sighed. "Yeah, I know, Cor. I can't believe your little brother did that either.. I can't say I'm not happy to hear he got arrested, but I'm sorry you're family has to deal with this because of him. Uh, I'll call you later. We're talking to Maya." Shawn sighed and held the phone out to Maya. "Cory wants to talk to you."

Maya cautiously stood and walked over to the phone. "Sup Matthews?" She said casually when she put it up to her ear. She heard loud whining and pulling the phone away from her ear. "Please, don't start begging for my forgiveness." She said into the phone an annoyed tone. "You didn't fail me Mr. Matthews. Tell Topanga she didn't either. I'm going to be okay." Maya sighed. "So, he really got arrested?"

Shawn and Katy shared a look. He went over to sit beside her and put his arm around her. They watched Maya as she silently nodded to whatever Cory was saying on the other line.

"Oh.. Okay.. Tell Mrs. Matthews I said thank you." Maya said then she hung up the phone and walked over to hand the phone back to Shawn.

"What's wrong baby girl?" Her mom asked when her daughter slumped on the couch beside her with a frown.

"I have to testify against him or he could get let out. Mrs. Matthews said she'd represent me." Maya whispered.

"That's good." Shawn said with a smile. "Topanga is the best."

Maya shook her head. "But I have to sit in front of a bunch of people, in front of Josh, in front of his parents and- and tell them everything." She started crying so her mother wrapped her arms around her. "In front of people I don't even know." She sobbed. "I thought it was over now."

"Shush, baby girl." Katy kissed the side of her daughters head. "We'll get through this. It'll be okay. All you have to do is be honest and if you don't want to look at Josh just look at me. I'll be right there." She promised.

Maya nodded. "I- I have to go call Lucas and tell him that I don't want him to come to the hearing."

"Are you sure?" Shawn asked.

Maya nodded. "Yeah. I-I don't want him to hear all the details. I just don't want him to see me when I'm that weak." She said standing up to leave the room. Maya paused and turned back to the couch. "I don't want you to come either, Shawn." She said then she left the room quickly before her mother or Shawn could speak again.

Maya called Lucas. She held in her shaking hand up to her ear.

"Hey beautiful."

"I don't want you to come." Maya said quickly then she hung up the phone. It slipped out of her trembling hand and hit the ground making it crack. Maya fell to her knees and sobbed.

Minutes passed as Maya cried on the flood while hugging her knees. She felt a hand gently touch her arm and flinched looking up at him. "What- What are you doing here?" She cried.

Lucas gave her a concerned smile. "You didn't answer my calls." He reached for her broken phone. "I see why." He sighed. "You don't want me to come where? You didn't finish your sentence. You just hung up on me."

Maya took a shaky breath. "There is a hearing and I- I don't want you to go."

Lucas slowly reached for her hand and held it tightly in his until she stopped shaking. "If that's what you really want, I won't go, but if you change your mind-" He looked at her phone in his hand and chuckled. "Just take Riley's phone and call me. I'll be there." He promised with a smile.

Maya let herself fall into his arms, exhausted from sobbing. "I love you."

Lucas held her in his arms and kissed her forehead. "I love you too, babe."