Strings (1 of 2)

Chapter 60 - Screw It

"Keep happiness as your first priority." - np

Dean calls me the next morning to check on me, as promised. I can hear the guilt and worry in his voice, but I reassure him that I don't blame him for the accident. I don't even really blame the driver. It was my fault for jaywalking.

He doesn't push any of his feelings on me this time, even though I can tell they are still there. But I know he has accepted - or as much as he can accept right now - the fact I moved on. He wants me happy... and Nathan makes me happy. Even if there is a then or but waiting around the corner.

I hear my parents leave for work after I hang up with Dean.

I haven't talked to them since I left my mother in the kitchen last night. I can't deal with all of that right now. I'm one person. There's only so much I can take.

I thought about Matt all night. I researched his death online - they did a good job for what it's worth, I could only find the "official" death story. Nothing about the woman's crash in connection to Matt. Actually, nothing about the woman at all. There was no news about a hit and run that night.

Do I want there to be?

I don't know.

I don't want to destroy my brother's reputation and memory all these years later. It's not going to bring him back or the woman back. But I do know that Matt wouldn't have wanted this covered up - that part of the story I fully believe in. He would have wanted to pay the consequences, however damaging to him.

However mad I am at him for leaving the woman there, I know that I still love him the same. He is still my brother. Flawed and stupid, but perfect to me.

Nathan comes over just after 10am after pretty much inviting himself over. He called and texted what felt like a hundred times since dropping me off yesterday afternoon from the hospital. Finally, I agreed to let him come. My parents won't be back until dark and Anna would be here at lunch, but she already knew about him anyways.

"How are you feeling? Does anything hurt?" He asks, his voice full of worry. This is a different side of Nathan. The cute, soft side - opposite to his usual hard, dark aura. His guard is down today. He's also obsessed with checking on me... almost annoyingly so.

I shake my head and lean my cheek into his chest as I pick something to watch on Netflix on the laptop between us on the bed.

"Ozark?" I ask into his chest as I let the trailer play. Looks interesting... but maybe not the right vibe after the last two days.

"Whatever you want," he mumbles and I feel his lips press softly on the top of my hair, making me smile.

"New Girl, then." I reply and click play on the first episode. I've seen it before, but I doubt he has. I don't mind starting from the beginning.

"Can I get you anything?" He asks into my hair, worried again.

"I'm fine. Really." I reply I can practically hear his frown. I don't know why he's so hell bent on asking me every few minutes. My wrist is broken, I'm not at death's door...

The episode continues and I start to laugh at something the main character, Jess, says.

"You like this show?" Nathan asks suddenly and I lean back to stare up at him.

"You don't?" I reply and he shrugs.

"I just didn't peg you for a comedy person." A smirk tugs at the corners of his mouth and I narrow my eyes at him.