Later on in the night I brought Kageyama to my dorm. I didn't want to be alone again and neither did he. It wasn't just that but.. I wanted to be next to him. I've decided that I would no longer let fear control me. Either we may lose each other but if that's so then I want to spend as much time as possible with Kageyama and everyone here!
I can't let another senseless killing happen again! We'll find the traitor and escape this place! Monokuka said once we defeat the traitor we'd be free! That's all we have to do now. Study everyone's actions!
Just then I was pulled from my thoughts by a gentle gesture made by Kageyama.
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He put his hand on my face softly and I could feel his eyes looking into me. "Why do you.. Love me?" I asked even though I myself was confused as to why I loved him.
"You make me feel okay when all of this shit is happening. I think it was also something before..." He mumbled now turning over onto his back looking to the ceiling. I placed my head onto his chest and hung onto him. I felt him tense up for a moment. "You make me feel safe if you wanted to know." I felt him relax as he put his arms around me. "Goodnight, Hinata." He said quietly. I didn't respond.
I knew tomorrow he'd spend the whole day worrying about the traitor and I knew even though the words he had given me were 'goodnight, Hinata' that tonight would be a long night for him. In my sleep I could hear loud sharp breaths and worried mumbles. He was afraid of what could happen, what our future was in the not so far distance.
Early in the morning I woke up to an empty bed, only me in it. I looked around almost panicked. I kept looking then felt someone nudge my stomach, I looked down just to realize he was right under me holding on to my waist. I sighed with a smile. "What's wrong, boke?" Kageyama asked seemingly tired still. "Again with the name calling." I rolled my eyes "Mm.. Fine.. Hinata." Kageyama sighed as if he felt more comfortable with another name for me, as if it was harder for him to call me by my actual name.
I tried detaching him from me but he wouldn't budge. "Kageyamaaaaaa! We need to get up!" I whined. He didn't say anything but let go of me getting up. There was a tension between us and he was creating it. "Kageyama, are you alright?" I asked.
I already knew he wasn't.
"I'm fine. Just tired." He mumbled. "I'm gonna go to my dorm to get changed." He said walking out the door. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I shook my head annoyed.
I went into my bathroom and turned on the shower. I took of my clothes lazily and then I hopped into the shower and quickly washed myself. Once finished I got out of the shower and dried off. I put on a shirt and pants then walked out the door. Kageyama probably didn't take a shower, he's most likely already in the cafeteria. I made my way there slowly and cautiously. Finally, I was in front of the tall doors and opened them.
Everyone was inside, apart from the dead. Kenma, Kuroo, Asahi, Tsukishima, Oikawa, Iwaizumi, and Kageyama! I watched as Tsukishima as well as Kageyama stared at everyone in the room. Kuroo seemed to be nervous sweating bullets. Kenma seemed to be okay, he was very calm drinking a cup of juice next to Kuroo. Asahi was slumped over on his chair laying his head on the table. Oikawa and Iwaizumi were talking though Iwaizumi seemed to be irritated as every time Iwaizumi told him he had to tell him something Oikawa would cut him off with something stupid he had to say.
I walked over to Kageyama and tugged his arm. "What is it?" Kageyama asked. "Let's go sit next to Asahi!" I pointed. "He could be the traitor, bok- Hinata." He said stumbling over his words. "I highly doubt it." I said crossing my arms. "Whatever.." He mumbled. As we walked I connected my hand with his. He pulled away swiftly and turned the other way. Who knew he could be so shy? I laughed to myself. We then sat down in front of Asahi. He slowly picked his head up to look at us.
"Oh.. Hey, guys." Asahi mumbled. "Hey, Asahi! Are you doing okay?" I asked worried. "I'm.. I'm not. I just miss him so much... Noya." Asahi whispered, his voice breaking. "I-I just feel like maybe if I-If I had gotten there sooner-" "You can't blame yourself." I said sternly. "But I-" "No. That wasn't your fault Asahi! How could you blame yourself? You had no clue that that was going to happen to him. You didn't even know what was happening to you at the time." I said looking at him concerned. Why are Kageyama and Asahi blaming themselves!? It makes no sense!
I mean I blame myself for Sugawara's death but that really was partly my fault! I watched him take that knife.. And did nothing. I couldn't even keep his wish alive...
Asahi gave up nodding to my words. After that Asahi got up and left. Maybe he felt like I didn't understand and was upset? "Hinata, are you okay?" Kageyama asked. I sighed turning to him then realized something.
I was crying?
Tears were just falling from my eyes needlessly. "What's wrong?" He asked his eyes full of panicky worry. Then something came to my mind. "I'm such a hypocrite. I've been blaming myself for not being able to keep everyone safe for Sugawara yet I've been telling you guys not to feel like that." I said angry with myself.
I felt everyone's eyes on me but I wasn't embarrassed I was just.. Mad. "It's okay. It's okay, Hinata." Kageyama said reaching out for my shoulder. I smacked his hand away. "No, it's not. I haven't been helping you I've just been blocking off your feelings and now I've done it to Asahi, that's why he's left!" I yelled standing up. "No, you helped me! You're just stressed right now, you're thinking too deep into this!" Kageyama explained. He reached out for my shoulder again and sat me down.
Everyone turned around but the room now lacked the chattering it once held. I didn't mean to cause a scene, maybe I am just stressed. I mean who wouldn't be but.. I didn't think I could get like this. I thought I was under control! I'm supposed to be the guy who can brush anything off, any insults or bad happenings!
