An unrequited heavy metal love story

"So, how's the love life?" Nerissa asked a seemingly ordinary question but Portia struggled to come up with a good answer. She sighed, trying to think of a synonym for complicated before falling short. It wasn't that she had any lack of prospects, just a severe lack of any good ones.

"What about all the dates you went on last week? I refuse to believe not a single one was worth your time!" Nerissa stated in response to a shrug.

"They were all far too stuck up, one was too sad, one turned up drunk. It was a pitiful affair, and I would rather swear abstinence than marry a single one of them."

Nerissa looked around, and her eyes settled on a striking young man, Portia followed her eyes and shook her head quickly.

"No Nerissa, I'm not letting you set me up with him."

"Portia just give him a chance, his name is Marcus Morocco, well off, travels a lot, you won't even have to see him most of the time. And he isn't too bad to the eye."

"Can we please address the elephant in the room? He's a musician, that will ruin my reputation, not to mention my ears with the filth he plays."

As if on call Marcus turned around and noticed the two ladies staring. His face bloomed into a cocky smirk, and he tilted up his chin looking them over, before standing up and swaggering over to them.

Portia rolled her eyes. "Now look what you've done."

Marcus approached the girls, pulled up a chair and in the most infuriating way, swivelled it around to sit on it backwards, undoubtedly making things uncomfortable for himself, and scaring anyone in a 5 metre radius due to his blatant disregard for spacial awareness. Nerissa took a step back, and gave Portia a look that clearly meant good luck.

"So ladies, I heard one of you was interested in me. Or both, I don't discriminate."
Portia shrugged, distaste obvious but Marcus didn't seem to get the hint,

"Look Marcus, I'm sure you're a great guy..."

"Listen up sweetheart, I've asked enough girls out to know where that sentence is heading. And trust me, don't do something that you're going to regret. Come on, my personality type is an IFGM. An irresistible, fabulous, ladies man. "

"Ladies doesn't begin with G. And that's not how the personality system works."

Marcus raises an eyebrow "look who's getting all worked up. Are you sure you don't like me?"

"Oh I'm sure" Portis mutters under her breath.

"Marcus, I'm so sorry to interrupt your... conversation?" Nerissa interjects, "but me and Portia have somewhere to be"
"Yes," Portia looked gratefully at Nerissa, "See you around Marcus" making a hasty exit.

Later that night, Portia had just returned home, after doing a shopping spree with Nerissa to replace her wardrobe in order to remove the smell of Marcus' dingy cologne from her clothes, and she was looking forward to a nice relaxing evening with Nerissa, before all her worst nightmares became real. Marcus was here. In her house.

"Portia darling, come in. This handsome young man is here to woo you, and I couldn't be more happy about your decision to date him." Portia's dad said, smiling evilly at her.

"Yeah uh, we're not..."
"Portia's trying to say, we're not going to let you down sir!" Marcus interrupts, "look sweetie, we can even finish each other's sentences"

"Don't call me Sir, you're part of the family now. You two are going to be a fantastic couple! I can't wait for the grandkids." Portia's dad smiles and walks off towards the kitchen.

"WHAT are you doing Marcus. We're not in a relationship."
"Oh come on" He smiles arrogantly "Everyone wants to be in a relationship with me. I'm a gold star man."

"I DON'T. Get out of here NOW."

"See you later sugar"

"No you won't" Portia mutters.

Portia thought that the misery had ended, that Marcus had gone away for good. But little did she know that he was hatching a plan to finally get her in a relationship with him. The plan began to be rolled into motion, when Portia's dad received two tickets for one of Marcus' concerts, and insisted her and Nerissa should go. So begrudgingly she donned one of her best outfits, and made her way to a concert that was bound to end badly, even if she didn't bump into Marcus all night, she would still have to subject herself to the awful music he played. Nerissa picked her up and they drove to the venue, a rather large one, where they then found out they were seated right at the front.

"Kill me now" Portia moaned to Nerissa,

"Stop being such a drama queen, it's only a few hours, you'll live," Nerissa said in response, rolling her eyes at her friend's antics.

They were in a stadium of 10000 unruly youngins, and Portia was starting to develop a headache from the constant loud music blaring from the speakers. She really thought it couldn't get worse before Marcus, obviously tipsy, decided to spot her and call her up on stage.

"Everyone give it up for my girl, PORTIAAA" Portia was mortified, wishing the ground could swallow her up so she could escape this torture.

"What sweetheart? Wikipedia told me girls like grand gestures, so here's one" He said directly to her.

"Now Portia here is playing hard to get, but she loves me, and I love her, so i thought I'd take the leap" Marcuse got down on one knee and took out a ring box, opening it to find the tackiest monstrosity of a ring that Portia had ever seen.

"Portia my love, will you marry me?" The crowd went wild, because the only thing drunk teenagers love more than heavy metal music is a love story. Portia had to think fast. She nodded a yes, and pulled Marcus into a hug, slipping the ring on her finger.

"Of course I'll marry you. But by marrying me, you have to swear to never sleep with another woman except me".

Marcus' face turned to horror,

"No! I couldn't possibly accept those terms."

"Then I'm afraid this marriage can't work. Thanks for the diamond Marcus." She smiled before returning to Nerissa, as they exited the stadium to boos.

Portia gestured to the ring "This thing will make a grand amount on ebay"