Behind closed doors (Clexa AU)

Chapter 7

Abby was helping Clarke look for her note book in her study. She has not unpacked her things so going through the boxes was something Abby did not sign up for when she decided to come visit her daughter. Madi is still in school so she can't leave without seeing her.

"Clarke have you read your divorce paper?" Abby asked carefully. She was holding the papers in her hand after pulling them out of the box.

"No mom. Now would you help me find the book?" Clarke was already frustrated about her missing book of ideas and creative analysis. She didn't need to add to her misery by talking about the DAMN divorce papers.

"Clarke, I know it must be hard but you need to see what's in them. Don't_"

"And how do you know? you and Dad are still happily married. Please mom, I really don't want to talk about this." The vain in her neck was now pulsing hard. It was going to burst if she kept moving at this rate.

"Your father and I have had our own problems, Clarke."

"Yeah? like what?" She was over the subject. "Mom you fight about groceries and dishes. What could be bigger than that?"

"Your father throwing divorce papers in my face. literarily."

Clarke stopped what she was doing and turned to face her mother. What is this woman saying? She thought to herself. Clarke knows she doesn't have a hearing problem.

"We didn't tell you because we managed to save our marriage. You were only Ten at the time."

"How did I not know this?" Abby shock off the bad memories that were creeping on her.

"Apart from you being ten, I told you that I was travelling for some time and I called you everyday during that one year we were separated with your father."

"I take it you didn't sign?" It was a statement. Clarke knows that ever since she signed those papers she hasn't been able to sleep peacefully. Everyday without Lexa was a nightmare.

"No. But that's not why am telling you this." Clarke had a look of confusion in her eyes. Abby took her hands and sat her down on one of the seats around the table. "Honey. Couples fight but it's up to us to fight to keep that bond from breaking. We are only humans and we make mistakes and those who don't learn from them are fools. Clarke I didn't raise you to be a fool."

Clarke looked away. Tears in her eyes. All of a sudden she was emotional like a puppy, it was ridiculous. Every tear that she held back when sign those damn papers and when Lexa would hang up on her. Then Lexa's words rang in her mind 'Don't say it.'  those three simple words hurt a lot.

"How did you manage?" She was curious. Her parents seemed happy. Its hard to believe that they almost divorced when all they do is explore their love deeper.

"Lot's of talking. We didn't get back because of you Clarke. I mean we love you but you were not the problem and if we got back on the grounds of that excuse, we wouldn't be happy today. I needed to rebuild the trust that I broke with your father. I didn't sign the papers but I gave us time apart to analyze, reconcile and to ask ourselves what we really wanted."

Her heart was swollen with emotions. If only she had the balls to come out to her mother has a married woman maybe just maybe she wouldn't have been too foolish to act the why she acted and give Lexa what she wanted. She knows it was only for Lexa's protection but maybe she took the wrong steps.

"I know you trust Lexa. And I personally think that's a more reason for you to read these papers." Abby handed them to Clarke, who reluctantly took them from her mom. "Lexa is a Scorpio Clarke. You betrayed her trust, its not easy to let go of someone you love so don't give up on her." Maybe its a sign. Costia said it, now Abby is saying it. Abby smiled. Kissed Clarke on the forehead and left her to be alone for now. She needed it. "I will be in the kitchen."