Rodrick - The Diper Tales

The Move

I sigh as I stare out the plane window. My mom is next to me and my younger sister, Rachel, is sitting in the aisle seat. A minute ago, the pilot's calming voice--the standard pilot's voice, deep with a Midwestern accent--had informed us that if we looked to our right, we'd see the Rocky Mountains. 

I've seen the mountains a million times before, but it occurrs to me now that it might be a while before I get to go again. 

We used to go hiking in the Rockies every summer--me, my mom, Rachel, and my dad. But now that my parents' divorce is final, and now that we're moving away, the probability of us going back is low. 

I've never even heard of Plainview, but I guess my mom grew up there. I always thought it was odd that she never talked about it, but assumed it was probably just too painful after her parents died there. Apparently, it's some small, boring town and Rachel and I are going to love it, but we don't even have a house there yet. We'll be staying with my mom's old childhood friend. 

I close the window and fall asleep as the mountains drift out of view. 

~~~~~

I wake with a jolt as the plane slams onto the ground and rolls to a stop at the gate. We're sitting in the back of the plane, so we have to wait for everyone else to get off before we can even get our carry-ons. We stake out the carousel at baggage claim until we grab our suitcases and leave. 

When we exit the building and stop at the pickup loop, I expect an Uber or something to pick us up, but instead a blue minivan stops in front of us. The driver steps out and runs towards my mom, wrapping her in a hug.

"Nellie!" the woman greets. She has reddish-brown hair and glasses. 

"Susan!" my mom exclaims. "Oh, I've missed you!"

"Is this Rachel and Kaylee?" Susan asks, wrapping me and my sister in bear hugs. This lady was definitely a mom. "I've been dying to meet you both!"

The women catch each other up on events as they load our things into the back of Susan's minivan. 

The drive to her house is only twenty minutes, but they're filled with mindless middle-aged chatter, most of which is about my asshole cheating dad. The rest is concerning what car my mom is going to buy. She can afford almost any car since my dad has been forced to pay a settlement and generous child support checks every week. Before you say he got fucked on that, he's a slimy defense attorney with a reputation for putting criminals back on the streets, and he rakes in the cash. 

We arrive at the Heffley house, where a middle-aged man is standing with two boys. One seems to be Rachel's age--twelve--and the other was two or three. 

Susan takes her keys out of the ignition and steps out of he car. "Here they are!" she says excitedly. "Frank, honey, where's Rodrick?"

"Guarding his room," Frank sighs.

Susan groans in disapproval, then turns back to us. "My oldest, Rodrick, refuses to give up his room for anyone, so someone'll either have to convince him or sleep on the couch."

I snort. This Rodrick seems like a real asshole.  

Susan introduces us to the boys, Greg and Manny. Manny seems like a little shit, and Greg is egomaniacal at best, high-functioning sociopath at worst. 

We get our things unpacked in the Heffley house and figure out where everyone will sleep. Mom and Rachel will stay in Manny's room, and Manny will sleep with Greg. Which leaves me to sleep on the couch. 

Or... I could try Rodrick's room. 

His bedroom is in the attic, but his door is only on the second floor. It's easy to guess which one is his thanks to the high voltage sign and handwritten "keep out" sign. I try the handle but it's locked, so I knock. 

"What?" I hear a boy's voice call from inside. 

What the fuck am I supposed to say? "Uh, can I talk to you?"

A muffled scoff. "About what?"

"My lock picking kit," I lie. I don't know why I said it, but I figured an empty threat would make him open up. 

And it did. There's a click of the lock and the door opens a crack. "I'm not looking for a roommate," Rodrick says.

"Neither am I," I say, shoving the door open and entering. "I need a room, with or without you in it." I climb the steps to the attic where Rodrick stays and take it in. The walls are covered with posters, most of which say Löded Diper. Which is stupid. But the room is really cool. The walls are bare wood, and even though it's a small room, there's definitely space for me. 

Rodrick snorts. "Well, tough." 

"Oh shit," I say, ignoring him. "Is that a Pierce The Veil poster?" 

"Huh? Oh. Yeah." He seems surprised that I know the band. 

"Fucking awesome." I glance at him and it's the first time I've really looked at him. He's not unattractive, I'll be honest. His hair is brown and shaggy, and he's wearing a black t-shirt tucked into skinny jeans. He's totally my type.

But he's an asshole. We can't forget that he's an asshole. 

"You... like Pierce the Veil?" He's giving me a funny look. 

"Duh."

"Sleeping With Sirens?" he asks.

"Hell yes."

"Bring Me The Horizon?"

"Do I look like an amateur?"

He pauses. "Taking Back Sunday?"

I gesture to myself. "Do I not look like an emo piece of shit?"

Rodrick cracks a smile. I look like the emo piece of shit: blue-tipped hair, a Fall Out Boy shirt, a studded belt with ripped black jeans--I have it all. 

I plop down in a chair. "So who gets the bed?"

Rodrick's expression hardens. "I'm not sharing shit."

"Fine, then I just won't leave." 

Rodrick glanced out the window, where the sun was setting, and knew I had won.

_________

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