Journey for happines

He was slowly walking on the side of the old road. After spending over half of the day walking he felt dizzy and tired. He knew it's not just because of the walking. He also knew that next week is going to be pure hell if he won't find what he's looking for. As soon as he arrived to the town he begun the plan. It was something he never thought he would have to do. However, desperate situations call for desperate solutions. He entered the shop full of customers. While the man at the register was distracted two bottles of Jack quickly slipped into his bag. With his heart pumping stronger than ever before he grabbed a bottle of water and paid for it with the last money he had left.

He left his home in a bit of a hurry. To be more precise, his mother made him leave in a bit of a hurry. At that moment everything he had shrunk from free home, free meal three times a day, shitload of useless junk in his own room and most of all, his stash, into one set of dirty clothes, his trusty cooking set and ten bucks. It didn't surprise him that his mother threw him on the street, he didn't even really care. What bothered him was the fact that he had lost everything he cared for, his only source of happiness, his ticket to heaven.

Cashier seemed busy when he was paying for the water. He didn't even notice his shaking sweating hands, and nervous face with eyes running around the shop as if they were following fastest fly in the world that was invisible to everyone exept for him. After he left the shop, he started running. He didn't know where exactly, but his legs seemed to know. He slowed down after realising that he is just about two streets away from his... well... friend would be an exaggeration now, he didn't have friends anymore. Let's call him „old source Jimmy ". He was relieved because he already felt like his knees and elbows are getting rustier with every second, he also started feeling that old familiar sickness slowly kicking in. He knocked on Jimmies door.

First time he met Jimmy they were both 8 years old. He just moved to the town with his mother to live with  aunt Irma. When his dad left he took everything they've had with him and abondend both of them. While he was sitting on the ground in front of their new home some kid came to him.

„Hi, I'm Jimmy, what is your name? I've never seen you around here. "

„I'm Kevin. We just moved in. "

„Cool. Do you want to play something? "

Since Kevin wasn't very popular in his old neighbourhood, he was sceptic at first, but he quickly found out that he could trust Jimmy. After summer ended, they started going to the same class. Other kids stayed away from Kevin and as it turned out, Jimmy wasn't very popular either, so they spent most of the time together. Over next six years they developer bond stronger than brothers, they were outsiders, they had no one but each other. Reason they didn't fit in was because they were both from very poor families, unlike most of the kids in the school. But they didn't need anyone else anyway. One time, when they were thirteen Jimmy took a bottle of vodka from his father's cabinet. He knew it wasn't very risky because most of the time his father didn't even know what day it was, let alone whether he had nine or ten bottles still left. At first, they didn't like the taste of the forbidden drink at all but after a while the effects came. Neither of them expected how much better everything would seem after just few minutes and few more shots. None of them remembered what happened when they woke up in their half destroyed hideout but they agreed that they will do it again. Over next few weeks experiment became a tradition. One day Kevin woke up in hospital bed, his mother was quietly criyng next to him. She told him that doctors had to pump him full of stuff to prevent permanent demage to his liver. She also told him that he couldn't see Jimmy again because he is going to die one day if this won't stop. Of course, he couldn't abandon his only friend, but they slowed down with the booze because they were both a bit scared because of the last time. About a year later Kevin had his sixteenth birthday. Jimmy was really excited because of the special gift he had for him. It was a small plastic bag with a red ribbon tighten around it with a bunch of white crystals in it.

„Do you like it? It comes with a special glass pipe. I was saving it for a special occasion like this one. I hope you will share with me, I would like to try it too. „

Kevin was a bit shocked at first, but Jimmies calming and trustworthy voice made him think that everything is going to be fine. After first few hits, everything seemed so much different, so much more real, like they have been looking at everything through a plastic bag their whole lifes. Now they could see everything much clearer than ever before. After that it was a quick fall down. It didn't take long before they were both dropped from high school and Kevin's mother moved with him to a different town. Town where she didn't have to feel ashamed every time she stepped out of her house because her son is a drug addict. Town without Jimmy slowly killing her only child. Town where they could both start again... again.

When Jimmy opened the door, it was clear he didn't recognise him at first. Although it didn't take long before he remembered. He hugged Kevin in the most painful but also most sincere hug he ever received. But after few seconds he could see the spark in Jimmies eyes slowly going away the more he looked at his shaking skinny pale body.

„How you doing Kev"

„I've been better. Look I need something to get me on my feet. You've got something? Please tell me you have. "

„Sorry but I quit this shit six months ago. I OD'd. If some random homeless guy wouldn't find me I would die. You should stop with this too, look at yourself, you look like you are going to die any minute now. Come inside, you can stay here for night and I will get you to rehab tomorrow morning OK?"

„Fuck rehab. I just have to know where you got your shit back in high school. "

„Hey, I really would rather not... "

„Do you remember that time your dad caught us smoking and I told him that I made you do it? And how he beat the shit out of me because of it? You owe me this. "

„Ok... he lives on the other side of town in an old trailer. Please don't tell him I send you. "

„Yeah, don't worry about that "

„If you ever need anything, you know where to find me. "

Kevin didn't hear the last words. He couldn't hear them over the sound of his fast heartbeat pulsating in his ears, the feeling that he will throw up any minute now, the creaking of his bones rubbing against each other and over the huge amount of swears that took over his mind. They were aimed at his former best friend, his own mother and especially this motherfucker that just had to live all the way on the other side of this fucking town. 

He got to the trailer by sundown. By that time, he really felt like he will die if he won't get his stuff. He banged on the door. After some rumbling the door finally opened and a guy in underwear with gun in his hand was standing in front of Kevin's tired face.

„What do you want? Get the fuck out of my lawn! "

„Hey man I need some H. I'm dying here. "

The man looked around and asked him how much he has. Kevin reached in his bag and pulled out two bottles of Jack. Man smiled, took the bottles and shut the door. Kevin felt like his whole spirit just broke down. He started desperately banging on the door begging the man to help him. He already started coming up with a plan how to sneak in the trailer to steal everything he could carry. Even if it meant hurting the man. After a moment that felt like years, the door opened. The man handed him a tiny plastic bag of light brown powder.

„Are you kidding me? That was like sixty bucks worth of fine booze! This won't even last me for two days! "

„No refunds. "

After the guy slammed the door, his anger quickly transformed into relief because he finally had his ticket to haven. He walked away from the trailer into the woods to have some privacy. He sat on the ground, took out his cooking set and started cooking. His fingers did those moves as if they did them a thousand times before. It didn't take him longer than two minutes to have his belt wrapped around his biceps and the needle inside his scared vein. As he slowly pushed the piston of the syringe his last clear thought, right before drifting into the happiness filled void only heroin could get you in, was „happy 18th birthday you useless piece of shit ".