the wilds • toni shalifoe

Day Nineteen

They didn't do a day 19 in the book, but I'm adding it in myself. This is gonna entail suicide basically, so please read with caution. Also, I added a trigger warning on the cast chapter as well, because I just realized I never did one and really should've. I so sorry for forgetting!!

"We're gonna go over day 19 on the island today," Agent Young informed Lana. Her heart skipped a beat at the number.

"No, I don't want to," Lana started to choke up. "Lana, I know this is difficult for you, but it's important we go over this day with you. For you, it's the most significant day on that island. A major turning point for you," the white man explained.

Lana swallowed thickly, nodding her head. "It started off quiet at first, but the mood did lighten up for a little while. It'd been three days since we saw the plane and no one had come. There was still no sign of rescue. There was still hope though, for most of the girls at least."

"Not for you though?" Dr. Faber questioned. "Well, if I had any then I wouldn't have done what I did, would I have?"

The girls sat around and some were playing Uno to get their mind off of everything. Lana's head was on Toni's lap as she slept.

Toni was more than worried for her. Lana hadn't been talking to anyone much lately, not Toni, not Fatin, not Leah, not Shelby, no one. All she really did was sleep, take a swim in the waterfall with some of the girls in hopes of cheering her up, and drink water. They had barely any food after eating it all when the plane flew by.

The morale was low for everyone in the group, but Lana seemed to be completely losing herself. She was hitting rock bottom.

Lana wasn't depressed because of there still being no rescue. That was partially the reason. The reason she was so gloomy was because reality struck her. If rescue shows up, she'll have to go back to her life where she'd have to hide herself and deal with the same shit all over again, plus some new trauma.

If rescue doesn't show up, she'll probably spend her last moments starving to death and in utter and total misery. It was a lose-lose situation. Lana felt hopeless, like there was nothing left to live for.

No matter what happens, everything will work against her. Was this punishment for all of her sins in life? What did she do to deserve this?

"Should we wake her up? She's been sleeping constantly the past three days. It obviously isn't helping her," Fatin said quietly.

"I think we should just let her sleep for now. Let her wake up on her own," Dot responded.

Not even ten minutes later, Lana stirred in her sleep, waking up and opening her eyes to Toni's face who was looking down at her with a slight smile.

Lana mustered up a small smile to send back to her. She sat up, rubbing her eyes and running her hand through her hair.

"Wanna play with us?" Martha asked sweetly, holding up her Uno cards. Lana smiled and shook her head no, "I'm okay."

Martha smiled sadly at her before nodding her head. Lana sighed heavily and flopped back onto the sand. She looked up at the sky for a moment before an idea popped into her head.

She stood up quickly and made her way over to her suitcase. The girls watched as she rummaged through her bags.

"What are you looking for?" Rachel asked watching the girl who seemed almost frantic. On perfect timing, Lana pulled out her big pink makeup bag. She hadn't done any heavy makeup since they'd gotten on the island. Only some light makeup every now and then, but right now she was so bored and needed a pick me up.