The 'L' in Light (A Death Note Fanfiction)

Chapter 4: Nightmare

~ L's POV ~

L woke up at the crack of dawn as usual, with the newly born sun's beams shining directly on his pale, almost yellowish, face through a gap in the deep crimson curtains. He could never sleep more than a few hours per night – if at all. On good days, his mind would wake him up, buzzing with new thoughts and ideas.

Nevertheless, on the hard days, he would awaken to dull pain in his abdomen that seemed to shift position from his front to his spine. He would also feel as if he hadn't slept a wink, something that he had learnt to hide from all of the Task Force members. On such days, he would ask Watari to bring him cake and tea in bed.

That morning refused to conform to any of these typical days. He had woken up with a thin layer of perspiration covering his entire body, trembling and terrified from the nightmare. L hadn't suffered through that dream for ages and it arose memories that had best been forgotten.

However hard he tried to sit up, his muscles felt like they were bound to the bed with invisible threads. Unable to move, he lay frozen in bed as the nightmare played in his head, simply a spectator in this body which had lost control over.

The figure appeared in a flash of dazzling, white light. To distract himself, L tried to visualise his positive experiences, to no avail. Starting to regain his senses, he grabbed at his sheets and wrinkled them in his fists.

A gut feeling to trust it. He tried to call for help, but his throat was dry and tight. Fear itself seemed to have materialized into icy fingers which were crawling up his spine and squeezing his neck with all of their unearthly strength.

The figure held him down while simultaneously raising the feather-patterned blade up to strike him in the back. He shut his eyes tightly and thought of Watari and...Light. L inhaled and exhaled slowly as the nightmare halted at the final moment and began to fade.

Still scared out of his wits, he managed to sit up and recollect his thoughts in his crouch-like posture. What L was truly afraid of, he could not say. He's the first friend I've ever had, or so I hope. Why am I dissatisfied by only this? Frustrated from being unable to find an answer, he climbed out of bed and, treading lightly on bare feet, stopped in front of Light's room. L peeked inside the ajar door and to his surprise, found only a vacant bed with its sheets undone.

Hmm. Light never leaves without doing his bed. I wonder what he's up to, he thought sadly.

The detective continued walking to the main hall, seated himself on his usual black rotating chair and pulled his legs up into their usual position. He then helped himself to the silver tray of strawberry cupcakes that Watari would buy for him every Tuesday morning but, no matter how hard he tried to focus on the investigation, his mind would always wander to Light; particularly how he longed to move the strands of unruly caramel brown hair which always partially cover his eyes. Then move close to his face, just enough to smell the scent of his hair, then nuzzle his smooth skin...

L shuddered and shook his head to shift himself back to reality. He was disgusted with how this made him feel, yet he could not stop, however how hard he tried. There was something about Light which made him feel things he never even imagined he could.

He has a girlfriend, Ryuzaki. Well, he might break up with her. Yes, she's cute and a bit too delightful if you ask me, but Light surely would not be satisfied with just that. She's brainless... If only I could find an excuse to have him chained to me again.

During those weeks, L had grown fond of Light's company. Waking up to the sound of the deep puffs that would escape his nostrils with each rise and fall of his chest was something L had grown used to.

On a particularly restless night, after making sure that Light was sound asleep, he had even snuck a kiss on his cheek, just to see what it would feel like. His clumsiness in doing so had woken Light up, but before he could come to his senses, L had already silently shifted position to face the other direction and pretended to be asleep. Behind him, Light sat up and looked around warily, but soon laid his head on the pillow once more.

L couldn't deny the fact that he had truly missed Light when he left. The silence, which he had loved before meeting Light, had become a constant reminder of his loneliness. 

L, don't be stupid. There is still a 56.3% possibility of Light being Kira. He could be plotting to kill you at this very moment. That notion made him feel worse.

How could I hate someone I've come to like? Or put him in jail if I found the proof? And besides, I've never had a friend before, let alone a boyfriend. He deserves better.

L's contemplations and cupcake indulging were interrupted when the door was briskly swung open to reveal a sobbing Light. Before he had time to ask or even grasp the situation, Light wailed "She's...gone" multiple times between fits of weeping. L stiffened, unsure what to do.

The person he was pondering about just five seconds earlier shuffled up to him and fell to his knees. L also showed no reaction as Light wrinkled his white shirt with his fists and buried his face in it.