F*ck life and everything that follows after | BakuDeku | Depressed Deku

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A/N: Before you read this: Sorry for my grammar and my spelling mistakes. My phone sometimes corrects the wrong things and I'm basically too dumb to notice when that happens. I also missed A LOT of commas because I only learned how to use them throughout the whole story.
I'm sorry, but I promise it gets better. 😅

Oh god, I re-read this story and I had to cringe so bad ahhh.

A/N: Triggering stuff starts at chapter 14, so please be patient if you are just reading this book for that stuff.
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Yet another school day passed for the UA student Izuku Midoriya. Whenever that happens he usually goes up to the rooftop of the school building to spend some time there, but also to calm his thoughts down a bit.

Today was also one of those days.

Izuku's POV:

Our class was dismissed by the ringing of the bell and I immediately got my things, stuffed them into my bag and rushed out of the classroom as I was bumping against several classmates. I was barely out of the classroom when I heard Kacchan yelling around and setting off small explosions with his hands a few people further behind me.

"OI STUPID NERD WATCH OUT NEXT TIME OR I WILL FUCKING BLOW YOU UP!"

I just kept quiet and ignored what he said because I didn't want to cause a scene.

Quickly I made myself walk towards the staircase on the other side of the hall since no one actually ever uses it and walked upstairs until I reached the last few stairs.

For obvious reasons it was not allowed for students to go up to the roof, but no one ever came up there to check, so that's why it has gotten one of my comfort places.

Like usually I opened the big white door out of heavy metal and I immediately got hit by a big gust of wind. Before I walked further outside I placed a piece of wood in the gap between the metal door and the doorframe, so that I was able to get back afterwards. If I didn't put the wood there, I'd basically be stuck on the rooftop.

After I placed the wooden rectangle on the floor, I turned around and looked directly into the dark gray clouds. It looked like it was going to rain later on.

The wind was playing with my hair, making it go into all different kinds of directions. I heard it passing my ears and felt my body getting wrapped up in the coolness of the wind.

My hands were still holding the strap of my bag tightly and I slowly made my way to the edge of the building.

I sat down, my legs dangling off the building and let my bag drop behind me. No one was to be seen on the ground, not a single person, but no wonder since the other students from UA were using the main entrance on the other side of the building as an exit.

Normally I would be able to hear them chattering with each other, but that was not the case today. The wind was raging and I enjoyed to just hear nature doing it's thing. I took a deep breath from the cold air and felt a bit refreshed.

I closed my eyes and thought about life.

Life, oh dear life, I wish you weren't as painful as you are.

I let out a heavy sigh.

I just want to be like everyone else, is this too much I'm asking for?

Usually I never got a single second where I didn't feel like shit. The only times where I could be at peace without having to worry about everything for a few seconds, was when I was up on the rooftop, watching over the trees.

I let myself fall backwards so that I was now lying on my back and I started to think more intense about everything as I felt my nose, hands and feet getting colder and colder with every second that went by.

There are so many people here on earth, heroes, villains, normal humans, it doesn't matter.. and I am also just one of them. They are all living their lives in some sort of way, giving their life the smallest meaning, but then there's me. What is my purpose in life? Why am I here? What or who am I doing this for? It's not like there is a reason for me.
It's sickening to live the same life every day, I always get up in the morning, go to school, come up here and then I just go back to the dorms so that I can fall asleep again and do the same shit the next day.

What the actual fuck, huh?

I can't even remember a time different from the time now. It feels like every day is the same. It's so incredibly tiring.

A heavy sigh left my lips and soon I started feeling raindrops falling down on my skin. Since I didn't mind it too much, I just laid there. Not caring about my uniform, my hair or my school bag getting wet.

Rain is one of the few things I still enjoy. I always liked being outside in the rain, feeling earth including me in something. Whenever I felt the rain on my skin, I kind of felt like at least something was noticing me. Even though it was just nature doing it's thing, it made me feel something.

I was lying there on the rooftop, small rocks underneath my back, feeling the raindrops getting heavier and heavier every second until every single rain drop started to hurt.

Normally people would probably leave now, but I didn't care about it. Even though my face was hurting and my skin was ice cold, I didn't move a single inch.

I continued lying there, my legs still dangling off the edge when I suddenly heard my phone ringing.

I flinched as soon as I heard the ringtone and decided to get my phone out of my pocket.

On the screen there was the name "Kacchan" lit up. I stared at the name for a few seconds while holding my phone up in the air right over my face.

The other side of my phone was getting wet now, but I just put it on my stomach, on top of my school uniform, not caring about the fact that Kacchan was calling me and closed my eyes again.

I didn't want to talk to him, he only yells at me whenever he gets the chance to, this was probably also one of those moments.

The annoying ringtone kept playing for probably 20 seconds until it finally stopped.

A few moments after, I heard that I got a few text messages, but I didn't really care about it.

Probably Kacchan, I thought to myself and put my phone back into my pocket without looking at the screen.