Once Upon A Bet

/26/ Upper hand

Dedicated to sullylvl, thanks fot all the support <33

They brought our drinks and I immediately cupped my iced-tea, letting its coldness soothe me somehow in the heat of the summer day. The air was dry and hot and my hair was a bit too short pulled up in a ponytail so some strands feel against my skin, but at the moment I didn't care. My head felt overheated, buzzing with all the emotional drama from therapy.

"There you go." smiled the waiter settling down Jake's coffee as well and smiled at us. "Want to order now?"

"I'm fine, thanks." I muttered lowering my face.

"We're good." responded Jake and the guy nodded, telling us to let him know if we change our mind. Very unlikely happening. My stomach was a tight knot and I wouldn't be able to swallow something solid for my life.

The waiter left, leaving us in that terrace. It was too early for lunch and too late for breakfast so we were almost alone. A couple girls sat on the other end of the large place, but other than that we were mostly by ourselves.

Which was good.

I didn't need more prying eyes at me right now. More people to witness this and go tell my family where I was or who I was with. Yet, the chances of running into someone that would recognize me were rather low since this was on the other end of the town. Which made my guilt stronger.

"I'm sorry you came all the way here for nothing." I mumbled, still not daring to rose my eyes from the tea. The coldness of the beverage was making the glass sweat and my throat ached to feel it's iciness but I wasn't in the right mood. I'd been embarrassing myself ever since I stepped out that building and I didn't know how to handle myself.

"It's okay." he reassured me for umpteenth time, but I still felt odd. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." I flinched at my own scratchy voice, clearing my throat and lifted the tea to my lips. I hate this vulnerability pressing my lungs. I hate this draining from the past hour and I didn't know if I was more relieved or ashamed he was here.

I was touched, that was it. Whether it was because he really cared of because the amount of guilt he felt, he was here. He'd come to show support and even with the embarrassment I could appreciate that.

"Don't do that." this time I did meet his eyes, startled at his sudden words, my heart shuddering at the look in his eyes.

"Do what?" I whispered and he flinched dropping his gaze to the table.

"Shutting me out." Jake took in a deep breath and I could tell he was forcing his voice to come out softer than his tense form suggested he was truly feeling. "You're holding back and already regretting me being here."

That wasn't exactly false. I was holding back, but after such a display of pity I'd already made I was all shaken about letting out even more. Also, Meryl had already drained out what felt like tons of information.

"I don't regret you being here." I mumbled, clenching my hold on the fresh cup. "But I... I don't trust you."

How could I? After everything... It was hard to know what to rely on to. I didn't know what to believe anymore. I didn't know the simplest things. It was as if my whole world was shattering at my feet and after all that uncomfortable digging I just went through I just realized I didn't even know myself. And if I couldn't even rely on myself, much less in someone that had already let me down. And in such a way.