New York (Nico and the Avengers)

31. Nico's missing

Steve's POV

When I wake up the tower's quiet. I turn to Bucky and see he's still asleep. He looks so peaceful, all the stress I can see in the way he frowns and how his shoulders tense up while awake is gone. I could happily spend the rest of my life like this, but his dream shifts and he stiffens up. If I hadn't been awake I doubt I would've noticed, but as I am I can feel the tension and I know it wasn't there before. I pull him into a hug, trying to get his mind to shift to a happier dream, maybe of the two of us, but it isn't working. Then he starts struggling, but not much, it's like he can't move. I can't get him into a better dream, so I shake him. "Bucky wake up!" but he doesn't hear me. It's not working so eventually I shake him really hard, and that wakes him up.

Unfortunately for me, that also causes him to think I'm attacking him. There aren't any weapons in our bed, but his hand still darts under the pillow to grab a knife from habit. I could probably throw him off me right now, he's really confused, but I don't want to fight him so I just stay still. Thankfully the hand around my neck doesn't squeeze, it just stays there as a warning of what he will do if I fight back. "Bucky, it's me, Steve," I say as he looks around the room. Bruce said that if I woke him up during a nightmare or while he was dreaming of the past he might not get where he was or who we were at first, at that I need to remain calm and don't agitate him until he recognizes me. "Bucky?"

He looks at me, really looks instead of just thinking of me as an opponent for the first time and looks really confused before saying, "Steve? Where are we? How are you here?"

"We're in Avengers Tower remember, we're both safe, no one's going to hurt you."

"Where is this tower?"

"We're in New York City."

"How are you here?"

"I got frozen in ice, but now i'm awake and here with you."

"but...HYDRA wouldn't let you walk around free like this."

"Bucky, you're free of HYDRA, do you remember when I rescued you with the rest of the Avengers?"

"...right."

He seems to have recovered his understanding of where and when we are so I take the risk of asking, "could you let me go?"

"Of course, I am so sorry," he says as he climbs off of me.

"It's fine. Do you want to talk about your dream?" he says nothing but pulls his legs close. What does that mean? Maybe I'll go to the library after breakfast and get a book on what body language means, because it's pretty obvious that he rarely wants to talk about anything, and that some things I've done reminded him of bad memories, but I'm not sure what I should and shouldn't do. I see the tear trickling down his face and raise my hand to wipe it away, but he flinches.

He looks up at me and looks shocked when he sees my face, I probably look horrified. "I'm sorry," he says again.

"Don't' be, it's not your fault, I should've known you didn't want to be touched."

"But you'd never hurt me, I should've known that."

"But I did hurt you back when you didn't remember me, and besides your mind's been under a lot of stress lately."

"I know, but I always feel safer with you there."

"Then I won't leave you alone." there's a knock and I look at him. He's not ready to deal with anyone but it would be rude to ignore it so I go over and block their view of the room with my body before opening the door.

"Morning Steve, I just wanted to tell you, Bucky's bed finally arrived, there was a couple of unexpected complications but it's here."

I don't want to stop sharing but I say, "Okay thanks, do you have it with you?"