How to Move Forward

What to Think and Do

Written by Iclyn_Black, Edited by AndraMalfoy_

Even though you may feel like your life is out of control, or that you are "going crazy," these are normal reactions to the stress that bullying places on you. Accept that it is normal to feel this way, but make it a goal to overcome these feelings with healthy and feelings.

If you were bullied as a child, you probably remember feeling helpless, unsafe, insecure, and alone. In fact, studies have shown that the you experienced in childhood may have been so traumatic that you are still feeling the effects even today.

You may doubt yourself, have trouble trusting people, and lack quality friendships. This lack of healing and closure is especially true if the bullying was never resolved or addressed when you were younger.

Consequently, you are likely still living with the damage to your self-esteem. These lingering effects do not simply go away just because you grew up. Research shows that adults who were bullied as a child are at an increased risk for, depression, and.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

Acknowledge Bullying in Your Past

Victims of bullying often spend years minimizing the bullying, dismissing it, or pretending it didn't happen. Or, they succumb to feelings of guilt, shame, or self-blame, believing if they had been different or tried harder the bullying would not have happened. The only way to begin the healing process is to recognize that the bullying occurred and that you were not responsible for it.

Prioritize Your Health and Recovery

Victims of bullying often deal with a host of health issues, including:3

Anxiety Issues

Eating disorders

Headaches

Insomnia

PTSD Stress conditions

Be sure to talk to your doctor about any symptoms you are experiencing. Remember, bullying affects more than just your mood and self-esteem. It also can have a serious impact on your health. Take steps to take care of yourself.

Reclaim Control 

Feelings of powerlessness and helplessness can carry over into adulthood. As a result, you run the risk of living your life as a perpetual victim. Realize that while you cannot control what happened, you can control your reaction.

Start your recovery by taking control of your thoughts, emotions, and actions.

It is also important to own your reactions and realize that you can choose to make healthy choices. You have a choice on how to live your life.

Change Your Thought Processes

Many times, people who are healing from childhood bullying ruminate about what they experienced or become obsessed with not experiencing that pain again.

Learn ways to take your thoughts captive. Set goals and focus on things that make you happy or bring joy to your life.

Avoid focusing all your time and energy on your past pain and your current recovery. It is not healthy to think about the pain and what you endured all the time. Set aside specific times to deal with the issues but do not allow them to consume you.

Find Closure to Move Forward

An essential part of your recovery is to move beyond what has happened to you. While you need to acknowledge how bullying impacted you, you also need to detach from it at some point.

The bullying you experienced does not define who you are. Instead, rediscover who you are and close the door on the past.

Some victims of bullying have found that writing a letter (that you never mail) to the bullies helps them find closure on what happened. Doing so allows you to express all the pain and anger you were unable to express when you were a child.

Be Patient With Recovery

Childhood bullying leaves deep scars and recovery is not a quick process, especially if you did not deal with the bullying when it occurred. As a result, you likely have a number of wrong perceptions and bad habits to break.

Celebrate your progress no matter how small and give yourself time and space to heal. The changes may be small and slow but they are still changes. One day you will wake up and see a new person looking back at you in the mirror.

Don't Be Sad

We know that you are strong. Don't be sad. We love you so much. Everyone loves you. You are strong and a warrior. You should stay positive, even though you don't feel like it. We know you can get up and make the bully sad.