Blind Love {Treebros}

Our Story Begins...

Hello world, you don't know me, or maybe you do, but you judge me based on predetermined concepts of my personality based on stories and looks alone and so you don't really know me. Regardless, I will not be telling you my name, I'm not looking for sympathy, or the next big sob story, or even some small story for a news tabloid trying to extort the words of whatever sad pathetic depressed teen they can find. I am writing today because I need to get some things off my chest. On the outside, I would seem very fortunate, I have two parents, a working father and a stay-at-home mom, plus a sister, a true blue American family. However, I've been in therapy for years, been traded around by therapists after they'd had enough with me, been tossed around, treated like a ticking time bomb, and sure, I may have a tendency for having angry, or even violent, outbursts, but that doesn't mean I can be treated like some wild animal! Now regardless of that, I have one big secret, one which I've never spoken allowed. I'm gay. So there it is, everything I needed off my chest.
Signing out, Anonymous.

{Evan's POV}

My hands trembled as I grabbed hold of my bottle of Ativan, spilling a small yellow pill into the palm of my hand before quickly swallowing it, taking the pills felt like a chore, but then again living day-to-day life was a chore when you're like me. What do I mean when I say that? Well, I have severe anxiety, to the point where the thought of ordering, say, a pizza, makes me physically feel like throwing up, and my brain is always set to worst-case scenario... I don't even have any friends, well, there's Jared Kleinman, but he constantly reminds me that he's a family friend and how that's completely different, plus he's quick to mention that the only reason he's nice to me in the first place is that otherwise, his mother won't pay for his car insurance.

I looked at the screen in front of me, I was sat on my bed, my laptop in my lap.

Dear Evan Hansen,|

That was all I had written. I was supposed to write a letter for my therapist Dr. Sherman, that's what he always asked me to do, write a letter describing why that day was going to be good, I think it was supposed to get me out of that negative mindset I was constantly stuck in, it didn't really help much though considering I couldn't think positively enough to come up with reasons.

Come on, Dear Evan Hansen! Dear Evan Hansen! It is going to be a good day... Why? Well, uhm, because, because you... I sucked a breath in through my teeth. You can do this.

Dear Evan Hansen, this is gonna be a good day, and here's why, because today, you just have to be yourself... Well, and confident, and smart, and charismatic, plus good at social cues, and socializing in general, oh! And likable, and friendly, and kind. Being funny would also help, and keep your hands from sweating, it's gross, no one likes shaking a sweaty hand.|

I looked at my screen again, what I wrote was summed up to, be yourself, but also don't be yourself at all in any way shape, or form. Groaning, I decided to do something else while I tried to form coherent words to form into the letter I needed. Thank god I didn't have an appointment with my therapist for another week.

Checking my grades was something I was supposed to do, so I opened my school website, but something caught my eye other than the section I needed to click to look at my grades. A post by a student whose name wasn't mentioned at all, but the post did say the email of the person who'd posted it.

schoolfreak17@gmail.com? I was admittedly curious and especially enticed at how he, at the very end of the post, anonymously came out to the entire school. I could never do that, I couldn't even tell my mom.

I opened email, typing up a new one.

From: treeenthusiast@gmail.com
To: schoolfreak17@gmail.com
Hi, I'm... Well, you can call me whatever you want really, I guess E right now? Unless we're supposed to be on a first-name basis. I'm not really good at socializing, but I saw your post on the school website, your confessions, and uh, I wanted to tell you that you're not alone. I'm gay too. I've never told anyone that, I get too nervous, so... Now we both know each other's biggest secret. You don't have to respond, but I would love to get to know you. I mean as friends! I'm not trying to be like some creep! I just... I could use a friend, and maybe you could too. So... I look forward to hearing back from here.

Once I was satisfied with what I had written, or at least as satisfied as someone like me could get, I clicked send. Then I shut my laptop, I doubted I would ever get a response, but I was always ignored anyway, so that wouldn't be much different.

"So... You just decided not to eat yesterday?" I heard my mother speak from the door.

"Oh, uhm, I wasn't hungry..."

"You're a senior in highschool Evan, you need to be able to order food for yourself, you're almost an adult."

"Yeah, well, I just... I can't, okay? Anyways, I need to go to school." I stood up quickly.

"Okay... Oh, also, I scheduled an appointment with Dr. Sherman for you today after school."

"What? But I have an appointment with him next week!"

"And I thought you needed one sooner," She walked over to my bedside table, picking up my bottle of Ativan, "You all good on refills?"

"Yeah..."

"Alright... Well... Oh! Here!" She hands me a sharpie, "You can go around today and ask the other kids to sign your cast! Maybe you'll make some friends!"

"Perfect..." I grumble as I grab my backpack and walked out, hurrying so I could walk to school and still get there on time.

Dear Evan Hansen, this is going to be a good day... It'll be a good day. Yes, a perfectly good, no-nonsense day. It's going to be a good day and here's why—

Bing!