Rain- Renga (sk8 the infinity)

chapter one

Rain.

I adore rain. It has such a calming, beautiful feeling. Not only when you gaze out the window and watch the droplets race down the cold, glass window pane, or when the chilling, refreshing beads of water hit your hot skin, making goose-bumps arise suddenly,  but also when the clouds get unbearably heavy and are unable to carry anymore water, it starts to pour down with rain. It gives me that nudge of encouragement that it's okay to cry sometimes. That it's okay to pour down with rain too. 

But sometimes, I hate the rain. Like when it rains too hard, and everything spills over all at once. More like a tsunami or a flood than just a splash of cold water from above. That's when the rain becomes unpleasant, kind of like when you forget an umbrella on a walk so you come home with sopping wet clothes and hair. All your worries, guilt, everything that you may be going through, just tips over. That's what happened when everything became just too much for me. It was the day I rained, but it came crashing down in rapids and waves, and flooded my mind, and it felt like I had crashed down too. Hit rock bottom at the pit of an endless sea of sorrow.

The day I rained was also the day I lost you, my best friend forever. My lover in another life, and I hopelessly wished you could've been in this life too. You were the only person I ever needed, and ever had, and now you're gone. You were there to pull me out when I was drowning in the deepest seas of my mind, but I wasn't there quick enough to pull you out of yours. I gave you everything I had. My deepest secrets, my most sacred feelings, my trust, and most of all, I gave you my heart, unchained. And despite that, you still tore it up, only leaving a gaping hole that reeked of agony every time I thought of you. And then you left me. Without telling me why, or giving me anything to live for afterwards. I know it wasn't your fault, but I still wish something could've been done to avoid my heart from being destroyed, and yours being left without a rhythm.  

The first grave mistake I made also happened to have been on a rainy day. The droplets that splashed onto my burning skin were unusually cold and sharp that day. Like little knives, etching warnings into my skin for what was going to follow. Nothing like the refreshing feeling I had felt the last time it rained. I should've known. It was when I stood, shaking, before my best friend, and the words; 

"You and I aren't... 

...a good match anymore." 

parted my lips. I should've kept them shut, as the twinge of regret started to bubble up inside me. As I turned my back, just so I could hide my eyes as they started to spill over with tears, and began the long trudge to my front door, I looked back over for a moment, and saw my only friend standing static in the thick gushing rain, while the glimmer, usually full of excitement, in his eyes faded into just a dim light, and tears formed and spilled over, down his cheeks. He looked like a lost puppy, wondering if he would ever find his way back home. I regret saying those words to him that night. Our usual evenings consist of us going to the skatepark and spending hours there, laughing, skating and just messing around and when the sky starts to shift into a murky dark colour, we lay down on the top of the highest ramp and gaze at the stars. It was so cliche, but it was one of our special things. This is really not how either of us expected our day to end, and it pains me everyday that it did conclude this way.

After seeing his face, his pained expression was burnt into my memory. Every time I closed my eyes, I could see the tears stream down his rosy cheeks and I fill up with inevitable guilt. The walk home felt so long, despite it only being a few seconds. I had blisters on both of my feet from the day before, and they ached even more than they ever had before. They hurt almost as much as my heart did, as I entered through the door when I arrived back to my house. I was dripping from top to bottom, after standing out in the rain arguing with my best friend, who probably never wanted anything to do with me again. The only positive to come out of the whole ordeal was that the rainwater leaking from my face disguised my tears of both despair and rage very well.  I was still in shock that I just ended our friendship so abruptly, and accidentally, that I couldn't even process my surroundings. I didn't hear when my mother asked me why I was home so late, or when Koyomi was scolding me for bringing my muddy shoes into the house. I stared forward blankly, and sped upstairs as quick as I could, with my fists clenched, my nails digging into my skin to stop me from making any noise before I got into the secluded space of my bedroom. I felt the cold drip of blood coming from my palms, as I must have dug too hard into them with my nails, but I couldn't have cared less about it. As soon as I closed the door to my room, the tears really started to fall, as I was jamming my fist into my mouth every now and again to avoid making so much noise my family could hear me sob. I wouldn't want them worrying about me, they have too much to think about anyway. As I sat with my back facing the door, I cried heavily. I thought my throat was going to close up and I was going to choke on my own misery. I also thought this was what the people meant when they said when everything came crashing down on them, like a tsunami. But I was wrong, this was just a mere wave.

Notes: hi hello there i originally wrote this fanfic back in like march and worked on it until around may or june .. but i decided to rework it since i hate it now and it still gets lots of attention . 

the story and everything is still the same, i just added more stuff into it

please leave me constructive criticism and your opinions in the comments and i'll be sure to include them in future reworks and stuff