Rain- Renga (sk8 the infinity)

chapter six

TW FOR: PANIC ATTACKS IN THIS CHAPTER!

If anything like that triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, feel free to skip this chapter or stop reading. Stay safe! <3

Don't cry.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I'm gasping for air while choking on my desperate sobs, as my poor mother is coaxing me gently like she always does. I can feel her soft, kind aura around me as she holds me gently in her arms while I cry miserably into her chest. Her aura is one like nobody else's, it's the kindest, warmest and most welcoming feeling I've ever come across. Whenever I'm upset, I always come to her, because I know she'll never be angry at me, and that she'd help me through everything. She's clutching onto me like she's trying her best not to let me go, and I'm holding tightly onto her too. Tears are flowing down my face like a stream as she strokes my hair. My face is sticky with tears and my chest aches horribly.

I just got home from the funeral and I was beside myself. It's finally sunk in I'm never going to see him again. I'm never going to see him smile or laugh again, I'm never going to see him skate with me, and I'm never going to feel him stroking my hair or putting his head on my shoulder comfortingly again. Langa is nothing but someone in my head now.

My ears are ringing, and I can't hear anything other than my short, painful breaths and sobs. The world is starting to blur and shale violently around me. The walls are closing in and everything is getting smaller and smaller. I can't move. I need to get out but I can't. I'm stuck, my mother is gripping me tightly in her arms and I can't escape. My breathing is getting quicker and quicker, and my sobs are getting shorter. I'm shaking uncontrollably and I can't control my hands, feet or mind. My sadness and pain is attacking my head with mini swords and arrows laced with poisonous misery which makes it ache horribly. I don't know what to do, I'm trapped in my state and there's no way out. 

I still can't breathe.

"It's okay, shh.." I can finally hear someone trying to calm me down. I think it's my mother, but I can't make out the voice through my ringing ears. My breathing is slowly starting to gain it's slow pace back, and the walls are starting to grow again. 

"Don't cry, Reki. I'm here." I can hear the voice again. But..it doesn't sound like my mother anymore. It sounds..like a boy. "It will be alright, Reki..please, calm down. I've never seen you like this before." 

In a panic, I ignore all the pain that's roaring inside me, and I jerk my head around frantically, to see if anyone is there. I can't see anything except for a faint blue light. I close my eyes and hope to hear the voice again. It was so comforting, and it was almost like I'd heard it before. It sounded so familiar.

"Reki, It's me, I promise you'll see me soon, just please stop crying..keep skating, and remember me until we meet again." ..and then the voice faded away. It was too late before I realized..it was Langa's voice. I heard him. 

I jumped out of my mother's grasp, and out of my seat. "Come back, please! Langa..!" I wailed, just hoping he would hear my calls and speak to me again, one more time. 

But he didn't. He was gone for real now.

"Reki? Come sit down..please. He's gone and you know it, sweetheart." I heard my mother say, as she was patting the seat next to her, wanting me to sit back down again. Even though what she said was the truth, it felt like a billion knives just got stabbed into my chest. I didn't want to hear it. Tears started spilling down my face again as I looked at her with a pained expression. 

"I know, mom..I know! I thought I heard him speaking to me again..sorry." I muttered to her, and sat back down and let her give me more hugs.

I'm done, I think it's getting to me too much. I need to make it stop.

Notes: Hi again! Welcome to the next chapter :-) I hope you've enjoyed the story so far, please give me more comments and such, since they make me really happy! I think next chapter may be the final one, so I hope you guys don't mind. Have a good day and see you next chapter! <3