Ουπς! Αυτή η εικόνα δεν ακολουθεί τους κανόνες περιεχομένου. Για να συνεχίσεις με την δημοσίευση, παρακαλώ αφαίρεσε την ή ανέβασε διαφορετική εικόνα.
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Reviewed by: mikrokosmostae Book Title: Beneath The Surface Author's Name: djwinn
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(This is an opinion of an individual, which may not coincide with the masses. The individual's taste, thinking, and way of perception will definitely be different.)
Cover: 9/10!
I like the picture used and what the background represents. A man, alone in the ocean of people. It just speaks volumes and coincides with your title.
Title: 10/10!
Your whole story talks about this. What is beneath the surface? What is beneath the surface of someone's behavior, their trauma, or even their actions? Engaging title!
Blurb/Description: 8/10!
I wouldn't say that the blurb was very intriguing. A lot of things that happen in the story are not even given a glimmer in the blurb. But then you understand that blurb shouldn't give away your entire plot – just a glimpse of it. So maybe, if I ever stumbled upon your book, it may not have interested me.
Creativity and originality: 9/10!
I could say that your story was original – over-dramatic yet original nonetheless.
Plot and Flow: 5/20
This is just my honest opinion, which may differ from the masses, but I did not like your plot one bit. Nor the way the topics have been dealt with would be appropriate for anyone to read. Norman was abusive, emotionally, physically, and mentally, Leonard was a coward, Tris could have complained to the police – so many times. There was nothing innocent about Norman – he even murdered someone. There are so many things to point out. Even after all this, she was willing to forgive him, idk, more than thrice? I don't think that trauma or a disorder should ever, ever be your pass ticket to get away with doing anything.
If he was sick, he should have gotten help (which he did but it was way too late). Some will argue that it is not always that easy to ask for help and I understand that. But this is just so so wrong. Norman got away with so much! As a woman, it hurts my soul to see that a woman was abused so many times by the same brothers yet she didn't have hard feelings. Tris should have never given him so many chances the way he behaved with her for the very first time. He killed that one man (Marcus) who helped her in her lowest! Yet, she still kept thinking that Norman is innocent?
The disorders mentioned do ruin people's lives but Norman has been around Leo for years. Did Leo never think of tricking Norman into seeing a doctor? Also, I know Norman was delusional too, there were symptoms.
Her sister, Bibi, no one should get this excited when their sister gets anonymous, creepy messages. If it was in my hands, I would have sent Bibi to a psychiatrist.
Another thing was that you never explored Norman's disorders. Let readers know why Norman was behaving that way. No readers will actually go to the lengths of reading about it on Google if you don't press on it. Your blurb mentioned that you want people to take these matters seriously, but you giving slight mentions, that too just a short form, isn't actually going that way. The amount of reads your story has, imagine the number of people you can impart this knowledge to, yet you walked away from it. It isn't an issue to be mentioned in the author's note, it's an issue to be addressed in your main plot.
I repeat - the story is wrong at so so many levels. The only thing that was passable was the ending – how Tris (finally) divorces him (and no, she did not do anything specific to improve him – by giving him these many chances, she made him stronger), how Leo settles with Elle after hurting Sara (I am on a crossroads on this but I see how this was good for all the three of them), and how the relationship between Norman and Mac were slightly improving.
The best thing I liked was Norman's ending, he lost everything to find himself – with the undertones that people around him, who cared for him, loved him, lost a lot too.
Character Development: 5/10
If I didn't like the plot, I sure as well won't like the characters.
Writing style, Grammar, spellings, etc.: 9/10!
(This is strictly judging your writing style, not in correspondence to your plot) The writing style was simplistic and not over the top. Easy writing yet powerful writing. I notice just a few typos here and there like you wrote 'common' instead of 'come on.' Only a few punctuations missing.
Genre relevance: 5/10!
It's fiction, sure it is. But it gives many, and I mean many readers the impression that you can get away with anything if you have a disorder, even with abusing and raping women, abusing your own best friend, and belittling and manipulating them, and the best, murdering someone.
Reader enjoyment and Communication with the readers: 5/10!
Just an individual opinion – the plot doesn't sit right with me. The whole premise to the road of self-love was enticing and could have handled so much better without pressing in so much drama. I have read books with an almost similar premise and this sure wasn't the one to be on the top of my list.
Overall: 65/100
I repeat – your story may create an impression that people can get away with behaving like a monster because they have been through a traumatic past or have a disorder. Since Mac is in jail for a crime he didn't commit (not for raping a minor) and Norman is on the path of self-love, this message comes out very wrong, even though Norman was the 'good guy' here.
Ουπς! Αυτή η εικόνα δεν ακολουθεί τους κανόνες περιεχομένου. Για να συνεχίσεις με την δημοσίευση, παρακαλώ αφαίρεσε την ή ανέβασε διαφορετική εικόνα.
