Shatterproof | SB19 Sejun [SB19 Series #2]

7

Sejun's POV

I sat on the sofa on our living room, exhausted after a day full of interviews and TV guestings.

I propped my feet on on of the couch's throw pillows. Ken gave me a look. Maybe he wanted the pillows, too. Well, I don't care if he wanted the pillows. I got dibs.

The others were talking animatedly with each other. On other nights, I would have gladly joined in. No matter how tired we were, we'd keep on talking.

Not this time. I just sat there, deep in thought.

"Dre, smile naman jan," Josh lightly told me.

I rolled my eyes. Please, don't tell me what to do.

"I'm not in the mood," I stated.

"Still grumpy, I see," he added.

"Don't go there," I warned him. I was not in the mood for Josh's fun and games. Not tonight. Actually, not ever. Not while I was still wallowing in pain, misery and self-pity.

"Attitude pa rin. Hay nako," Josh commented.

I gritted my teeth. I was beginning to see red.

"May sinasabi ka?" I asked him sharply.

Josh raised an eyebrow. He looked like he wanted to add more.

"Josh, stop it," Stell said. "Sejun, please don't be like this."

"Like what, Stell? Be like what?" I challenged.

Stell sighed. The others were silent. Justin and Ken looked like they wanted to disappear.

"Dre," Stell said, in a soft voice. "I'm sorry for saying this but, I guess it's time to move on."

He guesses.

What a callous thing to say.

Everyone keeps on telling me to move on. Like it's such an easy thing to do.

"It's so easy for you to say that. It's so easy for all of you to say that!" I burst out loud.

"Sejun, Kasal na yung tao," Stell replied, stating the onvious. "Ano ba gusto mo? Ano ba gusto mo gawin natin? Ha? Sejun, stop this. Stop mo na paging bitter. Wala na eh. Wala na tayong magagawa."

I scoffed. How insensitive. He could have kept his mouth shut. All of them could have kept their mouths shut.

"You don't understand! You will never understand. How can I stop being bitter?"

They can't just tell me to move on that easily. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how bitter I felt, no matter how I try to forget, Gabriella Anne Perez will always be my one and only.

It was hard being like this, holding on to a person who left me seven years ago. It was like clutching sand. The more I try to hold on, the more they slip through my fingers. And yet, if I don't hold on, the wind blows and the sand flies away. It was a lose-lose situation.

It was like what I felt with Gab. I tried holding on to what I felt for her. All those years of longing and pining and yet, she slipped through my fingers.

She got married to another man.

Now, who wouldn't be bitter?

"Napag iwanan na ako. Time moved on but I didn't. Everyone has moved on. Gab has moved on while I'm still here! I'm still stuck in the past. I'm still stuck because I am still hopelessly in love with her and I don't know how to stop this damn heart from beating for her!"