Two hearts one wish 💚🔥-Greenflame

Everything is fine...

Kai POV

shit what have I done?

Lloyd looked so depressed, so sad. I should have known better then to start talking about Chen and the staff, it had been on my mind a lot lately, but it was probably reminding Lloyd of being possessed. Gosh I was angry at myself.

"What are you talking about?" Nobody could have been a better choice for the green ninja than you!" I said desperately 

I laughed hoping it would lighten the mood, watching Lloyd closely. He was still partly facing away from me.

"I don't know about that." Lloyd muttered.

"Hey, I'm sorry for bringing this stuff up. I am probably worried about nothing anyway." I said awkwardly.

"No it's fine you can talk about it. " Lloyd said quickly." Turning to me for a moment before looking away again. "After all, you are always here for me when I need to talk, I just think... You would have made a great Green ninja, I don't understand why I was chosen honestly."

I felt that pang in my heart. Jealousy? Disappointment? I wasn't sure. Most of all I felt angry Lloyd didn't think he was good enough. Couldn't he see he was perfect?

"Well destiny must have had a reason. I think it chose right, you are a great leader Lloyd." I said, meaning every word. I was so proud of him. He had been through so much and was still here. I wished he could see how amazing he was.

Lloyd didn't look convinced in the slightest.

Feeble attempt Kai I told myself.

"I'm not so sure, but thanks." Lloyd muttered. He still wasn't looking at me but I could tell he had tears in his eyes. I cursed myself silently.

Damn you are a terrible friend.  Why are you so bad at this Kai?

Lloyd was so fragile at the moment, one minute he seemed fine and the next he was on the verge of tears. I had noticed that he usually would act fine when he was around the others. They knew he was going to therapy and understood what he must be dealing with to some degree. But I could hardly even imagine what it must have been like for him. I had seen how much the possession had affected him, more than anyone else. I wanted to protect him. I had let him down. I had promised to look after him. And I had failed. It was my fault he was like this now.

Part of me wondered if I should start going to therapy also, but I was strong. My problems were my own, nobody else should have to listen to them. So many others needed the help more than me. I would feel guilty asking for help and depriving others of it whilst the time was being wasted on me.

I had been keeping a close eye on Lloyd lately. I was always going to be there for him, to make up for my failure to protect him as well as to just let him know he wasn't alone. I had the suspicion he might have been self harming. And over the past months I had noticed a few small things that suggested he had been, but I wasn't sure. Still, my stomach was churning in fear at the thought, which was leading to anger. Not at Lloyd, but at myself, and everyone who ever hurt him enough to bring him to this point.

I watched Lloyd rub his eyes as inconspicuous as possible to remove the tears.

"It's.. really pretty isn't it?" he said suddenly. I looked out across the snow covered mountains that were slowly getting smaller as we were now making way over a snow covered forest.

"Yeah it is." I agreed. Very aware Lloyd was trying to change the subject, so I rolled with it.

I noticed Lloyd had begun shivering, the sun had gone behind the clouds and it was getting colder.