A short love story // Edward

A job

I wake up early as FUCK and randomly decided to go to my dads who I hadn't seen in...I can't remember how many years. As I was on the way to my dads i suddenly screamed a Shakespeare quote. It was beautiful.

"Well that sounds...good." Charlie hesitates.

Ugh yeah I know I sound good bitch.i struggle not to say.We arrive in a forks,it was greener then my shit after a salad. While I was at Charlie's an old friend named Jacob cam over and told me a magic story about vampires and werewolf's. "What a bunch of furries" I said to him. He stared at me for a split second before getting up and taking a piss on my carpet. Then he farted. I kicked him out.

I go to the only bathroom but of course Charlie was in "I HAVE TO SHOWER,I smell like a wet dog." No answer came back so I walked in but he was shagging with a neighbor I had met when I was little... "freaks." I walk out and back to my room I sleep on the carpet Jacob had pissed on it was WAYY better then my clean bed. It reminded me of him.

Once charli walked out of the bathroom and finished shagging the neighbor I walk in and turn the shower on. As I stared at the water falling out of the spiket and debated on whether to commit a hannah baker or not. I decided that I wanted to see a horse one more time. But the second my coochie touched the water I bled out and died. But then i remembered, I'm the main character.. I can't die. I'm so SILLY.

So as I was dying a pale fuck face fell through my roof. " what in the shit man, that's my mother flubbing roof dawg" I snarled. "Trap your lips you human corn dog shaped ass" dood bro said. Who iseth youeth" the boy said as if he were trying to copy an accent.

"I ameth y/neth" I mocked. " I'm Edward" the pale face fuck said. And that was it, he flew away and I didn't see him again until I found him getting frisky with the biology teacher in school.