Achilles x Come x Down

Achillies x Come x Down

      He was on the floor, jars of eyes surrounded him, an eclectic collection of bright red irises that never left his face no matter where he stood.

The last members of his family. Trapped in little jars.

       He wondered ideally which jar his mother was in. She watched him from somewhere on the floor, unable to look away. Unable to stop seeing her son battling his demise.

      He had done it. He had tracked down every single spider member and he had watched them die. Some of them begged for mercy.

      He made sure those ones died slowly. The last thing they saw was the scarlet flashing of his eyes as he sat cross-legged, inches from them.

Watching.

      Kurapika didn't know when he stood up or how he had managed to get into the kitchen, but he was standing with his head in his hands, bent over the sink, a feeling of disgust crawling under his skin. He ripped his hands up through his hair, scratching his neck as he drew his hands down.

He had won.

Why did he still feel like this?

      The eyes followed him as he paced, piercing, watching him spiral. He was panting, his nails digging into his flesh, searching for some grounding, but nothing worked.

The clock ticked too loud.

Off time.

       The seconds were too fast then too slow, he was spinning around, the room swirled, and in the distance, he heard laughing.

Too high pitched to be his. Someone was in his house.

Tick

Tick

Tick

       "Where are you?" He hissed the words out, his voice breaking from lack of use. The eyes stared at him, unblinking and he was still spinning, spinning, spinning.

A crash echoed through the dingy apartment as he hit the ground. The eyes mocked him.

Not enough.

They suffered so much.

       Their deaths had been meaningless and he still couldn't seem to have avenged them. He had tried so fucking hard.

But it wasn't enough.

The eyes laughed at him. Watching as he clutched his head, shaking.

      The boy stood above him now, a spitting image of his younger self. Shaggy blonde hair and pale grey eyes, eyes he hadn't seemed in ages. His eyes seemed to be stained scarlet now.

        The boy's head tilted, looking at him. His face was devoid of concern, despite seeing his older self in shambles below him.

       "You chase happiness in the wrong things. You've destroyed yourself." He said it matter of factly as if Kurapika ruining his life was just a fun activity he took up.

      "This was what was supposed to happen." he countered. "I wasn't supposed to live. We've been avenged, don't you see?"

Younger Kurapika laughed bitterly.

"You wish you had died along with them? You have. You're nothing."

The words hit him like a ton of bricks.

He was nothing.

He had achieved his life goal. He was living a meaningless existence, what was the point?

       There were so many eyes on him. They had been there his whole life, watching him grow into a machine, focused on nothing but the revenge that his clan deserved. But now what?

What was he good for?

      His hand grabbed a jar, pulling it up to his face, staring at it. It stared back, sending chills through Kurapika.

He was alone on his living room floor again, surrounded by the carnage of his family.

Tick

Tick

Tick

     The off-beat sound of the clock rang too loudly in his ears again, mired with the thump of his heart. He felt trapped. Trapped in his skin, in his mind.

He needed to leave.

      Leave the room filled with eyes, eyes filled with disappointment. Eyes that told of nothing but his failure.

      The cold bite of the wind tore through Kurapika's shirt, leaving marks that felt like burns wrapped around his skin.

The roof was so high, but that didn't bother him. Neither did the cold.

He finally felt free.

       The ground was so far below him and it exhilarated him. For once, a feeling that wasn't rage or shame.

       "You're going to jump?" The voice of his younger self held disdain, he sat cross-legged staring at Kurapika.

"What do you care about? You're not fucking real. None of this is fucking real"

"You're pathetic. Get off the roof, you're too much of a coward anyway."

Kurapika took one step closer to the edge, kicking his shoes off.

None of this was real. Not real. Not real. Not real. Not Real. NoT Real. NOT REAL.

His hands clawed at his eyes, the feel of the snow under his socks chilled him to the bone.

Tick

Tick

Tick

Tick

         The clock struck in his ears, still off time. He needed it to stop, needed it all to stop. His vision was tinted with red, it had been for so long, he just wanted it to stop.

To be quiet

      "You're throwing away everything we worked for!" Younger him screamed, stepping towards him, causing Kurapika to take two more steps back. He felt the ledge bump the back of his legs making him shake. "You think jumping will make it stop? It will never stop. This is your life Kurapika. This is what you deserve"

       Fuck, was he actually doing this? Sitting here, arguing with his childhood self, who was so angry. When had he become so angry again?

       There were so many eyes on him. He heard whispers, telling him secrets, some in languages he didn't understand.

His head was so loud

So loud

So loud

      "Would you all just shut the fuck up?" He shouted, clawing his face. His eyes stung, his nail having dug into it.

He hissed in pain, cussing, Stumbling backward, tripping over the ledge, and catching himself.

       "Go on then. Let go." His younger self watched him, as he shook. His muscles tremble under the weight of him and gravity. He could easily pull himself up.

But was it worth it?

      He felt so alone all the time. He had accomplished the task he had dedicated his life to. His future was so empty and he felt so lost.

What was it to just let go?

     He didn't let himself think anymore. His fingers slipped off the ledge and he felt the air rush around him. It was the calmest he had felt in a long time.

He was dead long before his body hit the ground.