{The One That Got Away}

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'..Summer after highschool, when we first met..'

Noah stood on the dock of camp Wawanakwa, a bag in hand, the host, Chris, announcing the scrawny male. Noah raised an eyebrow, his expression blank aside from this. "Is this where we're staying?" he asked, after having mentioned his life-threatening allergies to the host.

A punk who was taller, slightly more muscular, and had various piercings on his face was quick to respond to this, smirking. "No, it's your mother's house." he cracked his knuckles. "And we're throwin' a party."

There was a pause, then a response from Noah. "Cute. Nice piercings, original. Do them yourself?" he'd asked, his bottom lip having been grabbed by Duncan. "Yeah. You want one?"

Noah just simply rolled his eyes before responding. "Uh, no thanks. Can I have my lip back, please?" he paused, waiting until his lip was released. "Thanks." he'd said sarcastically, continuing to make his way into the crowd of campers.

'We'd make out in your mustang, to Radiohead.'

The low, slow tune of Creep had played as Duncan had placed his lips against Noah's, the shorter, scrawnier male having returned the kiss without protest. Something rare.

They were parked in Noah's driveway, not a single light on around them. The car was in park, so, the radio played without either of the two paying a bit of attention to it. Noah wasn't usually one for music in the first place, so it was nice to not see him complain about it.

The kisses had continued, at this point Duncan would consider it 'making-out' with Noah. Another thing that was rare. Noah liked to complain about the case when Duncan had kissed him more than once at one time.

The moment was perfect, in the punk's opinion. One of his favorite ones from the both of them.

'And on my eighteenth birthday, we got matching tattoos.'

"Only on the wrist." Noah had stated clearly to his delinquent of a boyfriend, who'd taken the male to a tattoo parlor on his eighteenth birthday to get their names tattooed on each other's wrists. (Noah wouldn't have agreed to anywhere else on the skin).

He'd grabbed Duncan's hand, pouting a bit at the idea.

Though, when it was finished, he could admit that it was literally his favorite gift. Sheesh.

'Used to steal your parents' liquor, and climb to the roof, talk about our future, like we had a clue.'

Duncan had a bottle of his parents alcohol next to him on one side, his know-it-all boyfriend on the other side. Duncan began speaking, sighing a bit. "Babe- What's gonna happen once you decide to leave this stupid place, get into college?"

There was a small pause that had come, the smaller male looking down a bit. "Maybe you could come with me, get a criminal record wherever I go."

The criminal chuckled, nodding. "You got it babe, I'll bring my criminal record up to the top somewhere else, and you'll be there to see it all."

"Mhm."
"Love you."
"Hate you too."

'Never planned that one day, I'd be losing you.'

Noah could feel the tears come to his cheeks when he had heard Gwen mutter the news to him over the phone-- Was Duncan really /dead/? What happened? It seemed like mere months ago he'd heard Duncan mutter the words 'I'm sorry, princess.' to Noah repeatedly, hell- Duncan used to sing to him, make him feel like he was the best, instead of what he felt like now.

He felt like absolute garbage.

The guy he never told him he loved was /gone/.

'I was June and you were my Johnny Cash, never one without the other, we made a pact, sometimes when I miss you, I put those records on.'

Noah looked to the record player that rested in the corner of his room, the one that Duncan had given him before they'd broken up- Before his death. He missed him, surely. Hell- He even grabbed the records that Duncan had secretly liked, going through them- And then picking out one of their favorites, choking out a sob, before putting it on, allowing his mind to flood with the thought of the punk.

'Someone said you got your tattoo removed.'

About a month before he died, Duncan had heard rumors of his former boyfriend getting his tattoo removed- Likely from Owen. The larger male tended to tell Duncan about how Noah was- If he was okay, if he was doing fine- Things of that sort.

But this?

This hurt.

'Saw you downtown, singing the blues. It's time to face the music- I'm no longer your muse.'

Noah had been dragged to Duncan's concert, by Izzy. The redhead insisted they went to hear his ex boyfriend's band play in their local café, something in which he really didn't have interest in going to much at all. He let out a small sigh as the guitar started, listening to the lyrics carefully- A frown coming to his lips when he realized what it was about.

It was about their break-up.

About how Duncan messed up.

'All this money can't buy me a time machine, can't replace you with a million rings.'

This was about ten years after Duncan's death, to a time that was still dark in Noah's life- Memories of Duncan still fresh in his mind.

Noah had become a somewhat successful author, most books having been based on how he saw the world at this point- And, well- Duncan crossed his mind a lot, even though he had gotten engaged to a guy named Cody months ago-- But Noah could never move on from Duncan, the man who had brought the most impact to his life.

'I shoulda told you what you meant to me.'

Everything.

That's what Duncan had meant to Noah, not that he'd ever mention it, or mutter the words I love you to the delinquent. It just hurt too damn much to know that he was engaged to someone else now, and at times he'd still sob- Or even feel in denial of the death of the pierced male.

'So now I pay the price.'

His mind was flooded with the constant thought of the male, sometimes having dreams about him, panic attacks due to them, and never, ever would he tell Cody about them, hell, it would just make things worse.

At this point, Noah's life was a living hell.

And he had allowed it to become so.

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