Cheers to Self Love ✓

27 | perhaps...

its been a tough time for all, every event so massive, i wonder if we are living through history. and as much as i'd love to deny it, its true. living through a history of wars, murders and death. some things just never change. we just have been too observent of it all now.

i am seated on the chair thinking of all the things that have happened in the past and i can't even remember half of them. there's just too much to consider, each event important in its own way and each revolution a stepping stone in the hope of a better future.

you walk past me and i sense something wrong. there's something wrong. there's a different kind of coldness that comes from not knowing what to care and what to not care about anymore. there's too much on the plate already and things never get easier.

i stand up from my seat, wanting to walk to you and comfort, but instead I gently whisper your name. you flinch loudly, your body tensing up and your fists clenching. i observed, how it pained to even be noticed, and to be shown love, in the smallest acts possible.

the fear of commitment to something you cannot promise. even if it is as simple as loving yourself. cause we've been taught to hate ourselves loudly, and still give unconditional love to others. but missing out on the love they give, cause you've been busy finding flaws in yourself.

but what if i told you there was nothing wrong with you, and that, you were wonderful as you are. that you weren't broken but are just a wholesome human being finding trouble to find a way to love being themselves.

there's silence in the room. i want to hold you and tell you things will be okay in the end. that, its okay to not be okay, and its okay even if things don't end up the way you wished them to be.

"sorry" you whisper, holding back the tears in your eyes. i am still afraid to touch you, like an explorer afraid to hold a flower, not wanting to ruin it.

i gently place my hands on your shoulders and it undid you. you loosen yourself and your tensed body is finding some air to breathe. hot tears stream down your face as you hug me tightly. i cannot help but cry as well, i have been having a tough time too. wish life were easier, but hey, what would that lead to, anyways?

you loosen your grip around me and wipe the tears off my eyes as i wipe yours.

"how are you?" you ask me, your voice still heavy from the emotions.

i wanted to flood every single thought that was pacing through my mind, but as much as i wished to do so, i knew there's nothing that can be done about it as well, there'd be no point of venting, if there was no solution to it but to fight through it.

"I am great, but i forgot to ate" i mutter and without knowing, i smile cheekily.

you look at me as if I spoke in an unknown language. musing to the beats of it, your expression screamed - "are you crazy?" i nod and that cracked you up. we both start laughing hard until we run out of breaths and fall to the floor. the word rofl (rolling on floor laughing) must've definitely be created by our example.

perhaps we do not deserve the pain we go through, but that'd mean we do not deserve the happiness that comes after it as well. life is hard, the battles we fight are only ours to bear, but the presence of people who love us, even at our worst perils are the ones worth living life for.

with love,
stranger ❤️