The amazing spiderman

Chapter 17: Time with Peter

Finally the last one, woooooo!  Peter finally finished cleaning his wound, he took a needle and started sewing it until Clint came in the med bay. They stared at each other for 3 seconds straight then Clint was first to broke the silence, ''THE FUCK?! WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK FOR HELP?! THERE'S A HUGE LITERALLY GASH IN YOUR ABDOMEN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!'', And Peter stared at him until Clint didn't have any more breath and calmed down, and came in front of him, ''When Jarvis said you are here I didn't know it will be this bad. What were you-'', ''Clint, please. Take a deep breath.'', He did so, ''Let it out, good, repeat 5 times. Good, now, I knew I forgot to do something, didn't know it was to hack into Jarvis.'', ''Are you hacking into Jarvis?! How many times had this happened? And why?!'', ''Yes, a lot, and because I didn't need help.'', ''You have a gash in your abdomen. A huge MF-ing gash.'', ''Listen, Clint, this isn't the first time I am taking care of my own wounds, I am perfectly capable of taking care of them myself. I know how to.''.Clint stared at him, then at the wound, then back at him, then took the needle and started to sew the wound for him, ''You don't have to bother-'', ''Pete, you don't ask for help because you think you'll bother us? And that you don't need help? You don't have to do that, you are not alone anymore. And if you do that again, I'll kick your ass.'', Peter sighed and rolled his eyes.Clint stared at the supplies on the table, disinfectant, tweezers, and chunks of metal pieces in a bowl, another bowl with water and a towel, which were bloody, and others. He looked back at the wound, ''It worries me that it is so well sewn. In another sense, of course.'', ''Told you I did it before.'', ''Guess that explains why you have so many scars eh?'', ''Guess so...'', ''What is the worse you ever had?'', Peter stared at Clint then thought about it, ''I have no idea, I just know how to patch them up not which is worse than other. I once had to pull a junk of metal out of my back, or that one time I got impaled and had to puke the amount of blood trapped in my stomach cause my organs heal in seconds, or that one time with the dislocated shoulder-'', ''Uh... Peter?'', ''Or when I got slashed on the chest by the lizard, or electrocuted by Electro so bad that steams were coming out of my body, it was fine, only my muscles, and bones, and organs, or poisoned by one of those alien that made everyone so sleepy, did you knew that I have poison in my fangs? Neither did I. Or that one time when-'', ''Peter?'', ''I had 5 of my ribs broken, or when I had my lungs pierced by a bone and had to puke blood again,-'', ''Peter.'', ''and let alone the gashes and cuts, and stabs and bullet wounds, those are only small wounds for me now.'', ''Peter!'', Peter stopped rambling and looked at Clint, who was as pale as cheese, ''If you don't stop now, you'll give everyone else, including me, a heart attack, and that wont reduce the level of how hard we're gonna kick your ass i the future.'', Peter looked behind Clint to see everyone else, either as pale as Clint or scared to death. Shit.''Peter.'', Bruce came in front of him, ''Why didn't you said anything?'', ''...I'm not used to getting helped guys.'', ''Well you'd better get used to it.'', Bucky said, ''Cause you don't have to handle things by yourself anymore.'', Steve said. Peter looked at everyone, and thought about what they said. He didn't knew how much time had passed. Peter came back from patrol and went to his aunt, bringing her another bouquet of flowers, talking with her about stuff that happened recently and how things are going, she asking him if he did the vacation homework even if it was so much more time to do them, and him saying yes. Then about missions that he had gone to, about his training routine, even when he was training alone with no one knowing it. ''I want to become strong!'', He said and she laughed and said ''Well you'd better.''.After he left, Peter went in one place before going to the tower. Today was her birthday. He went there with a flower in his hand. A red rose.And he stood in that place, not knowing how much time had passed, he stays, and waits, and waits, and waits. Waiting for her to come back, waiting to see her again. Sun went down, being replaced by the moon. And he still stood there, waiting. ''Why are you sitting down? The ground is cold.'', Peter looked up and saw her. Gwen.''Wow, and they say that I am not punctual. You're kinda late, are you not?'', He smirked getting up. ''But it doesn't matter, the waiting is worth it, isn't it?'', he smiled and went in front of her, giving her the rose. ''Happy Birthday Gwen!'', ''Thank you!'', she exclaimed excitedly before taking the rose and burying her nose into it's red petals. She planted a kiss to his cheek, and Peter shivered, her lips were cold. ''You're freezing.'', ''I'm fine. It's one of those cool summer nights... *giggle*'', he took off his jacket and held it out to her, ''Thanks gentle man.'', ''So, where do you wanna go? I have a few ideas, how about we go eat something, then a looong nice walk to the park, I know you like the lake, or we could go watch a movie, it's not really that late. Or if you want-'', ''Peter, I can't. I'm sorry but I have to go back soon.''.''Oh, no problem then, I can wait, you go there and I will wait until you come back ok?'', Gwen was silent, and she gave a sad smile, taking one step closer to him, ''Always so sad, when you hear that I have to go.'', Peter sighed and she looked at him, then away. He grabbed her hand and said ''You don't have to leave.'', she shook her head and turned around, getting her hand out of his. ''Sorry, sorry.'', She said wiping her nose, a small drop of blood coming out of it, and extending on her palm the moment she attempted to clean it.Peter's eyes widened and a sudden dread crossed his entire body, feeling shivers on his spine, and his stomach churning. ''Gwen I love you. I love you and I always will, and I know I sound stupid but... please don't leave me Gwen. Please stay here. I know it's my fault, but please. I sound selfish, I know, but I don't care, I need you and... God, please Gwen. Please don't go.'', his eyes got teary and his pleas were escaping his mouth without him wanting or knowing it. It's been too long. Far, far, too long. And he isn't ready, he isn't ready to move on. He can't. He refuses to. ''I know. I love you too. Always have, always will.'' And with one final smile, she walked away. ''Gwen! Wait, please!'', he tried to reach her but tripped. ''AH!'', Falling on the cold ground he got up and looked around. Gwen was nowhere. It was then when he realised that she never was there. He was alone. The entire time. The rose and his jacket rested at her grave. He looked at them for a while, then broke.Peter screamed and sobbed, not caring if someone heard him. He continued screaming, tears falling wildly down from his eyes and onto the ground, he clenched his fists around his hair, squeezing so hard that his palms were bleeding. His cries echoed in the night, but no one heard him. He didn't know how he found the strength but he managed to go back to the tower. ''Hello Peter. I'm glad you have returned, shall I announce sir that you are back? He was quiet worried because you were never this late before.'', ''Hi Jar. Whatever you want.'', Peter cringed at his voice and said nothing more, ''Are you alright?'', he nodded. Peter changed to training clothes and went to the gym. It was too early to sleep anyway.When the day passed he had been asked if everything was ok and he kept smiling and nodding, 'Just smile and nod. Just smile and nod', he kept repeating in his mind. Even though they knew it was a mute lie they decided to leave him. When he went out on patrol everyone gathered in the living room.''Ok, something is obviously wrong with him and I don't like it.'', Tony said, a tint of worry in his voice. ''We know. But he keeps saying he's fine. What should we do? Something happened.'', Steve said, ''I do hope he is not injured. I thought we talked with him about that.'', Bruce said, looking nervous. ''I assure you he is not physically injured. I believe he had an emotional trigger.'', Jarvis said.''I can look in his head if you want.'', Wanda offered but the others quickly said ''Wanda, no. Even if he won't know, he won't appreciate it when he finds out. And it won't help him anyway, he needs to tell us himself.'', Natasha told her. ''Then we'll just gotta wait until he comes back and ask him.'', Clint said, making everyone nervous, because they knew they had to push him. ''Sir, Peter has returned and is currently in his room, but I believe that it will be better if you go to him. Now.'', Jarvis announced, ''What's wrong?'', Tony asked immediately running to the door and followed by the others, ''He is in shock.''.Peter was breathing hard and tears were falling down on his blood stained hands, his costume was on except the mask. He just returned from patrol, and then heard a knock. ''Peter? It's me. Hey bud, are you ok?'', ''Go away.'', Was all Peter had managed to say between the harsh breathing and tears. ''You know I won't. I'm coming in Pete.'', ''No...'', Peter got up but started coughing, feeling sick, though being thankful that he didn't felt the urge to vomit right then. ''I think it's better if we don't all go in, Steve, Nat, will you come with me?'', Tony asked and the 2 nodded before going in the room. ''Pete?'', Peter looked at them with red watery eyes then said ''I want to be alone. Please.'', ''God, Peter, what happened?'', Tony approached but his eyes widened at the blood from his costume. ''You're bleeding!'', they went to him but Peter backed away.Still Tony grabbed his hands and scanned them for injuries. They were snatched from his grasp and Peter looked away. ''It's not mine.'', ''W-what?'', Peter smelled the blood and paled ''Oh God.'', he chocked and felt the urge to gag, he went in the bathroom, taking off his gloves and web shooters and started washing the blood away. ''Oh God, what have I done, what did I do?'', He continued whimpering and Tony entered the bathroom ''It doesn't wash away. Tony I can't wash it away.'', Peter sobbed, continuing to wash his hands even if they were already clean. He could smell the blood. ''Hey, it's alright kid, just, take a deep breath ok?'', Tony said, putting a hand on Peter's head while gesturing to the soldier and assassin to leave. They nodded and walked away.Tony took the soap and started rubbing Peter's hands, helping him to wash them for the last smell of blood that threatened to offend his sensitive nose.When they were done, Tony looked at him and said ''We really need to talk. You can't avoid us anymore.'', he wanted to say 'no' but he knew that the others will keep asking, and that he needed to, so he nodded. Tony waited for Peter to change and then they went into the living room where the others were waiting.''Everything is okay Pete.'', Tony assured, 'Everything is not ok, nothing is ok. Nothing ever was.', they sat down, then Natasha asked, ''What's wrong?'', ''...I was too late.''.Peter started trembling, ''A woman...road... a car... the ambulance couldn't save her, I couldn't save her.'', his voice was trembling, ''She was bleeding so bad, I-I-I tried giving her CPR but she wouldn't wake.'', by now his breathing was uncontrollable.''Calm down Peter.'', Steve put a hand on his shoulder, ''I'm. Trying.'', he whispered, because if he used his voice, it would crack. Badly. ''Peter, not even us could save everyone.'', Natasha said, ''I. know... It's just, feels so bad.'', ''We know, but we can't keep thinking about that.'', ''She was pregnant.'', everyone fell into a dreadful silence. ''She had a baby.'', Peter couldn't keep his voice from cracking, he wiped his eyes and face and continued, ''Her scent... the baby's scent... was fading. It disappeared by the time the ambulance came.'', Tony sighed, and put his hand on Peter's neck, then spoke.''Listen Pete, there will be times when you-'', ''I know!'', Peter snapped, ''I fucking know! I can't save everyone, I realized that when I first got my powers! The hard way! But what should I do?! smile?!'', He glared at Tony, then looked down, ''Saving people, even from small crimes, accidents, or others, means a lot for me. It means I have saved someone else's brother. Someone else's mother... Someone else's uncle Ben.'', he whispered the last one.There was a silent moment, then, ''Uncle Ben was yours, wasn't he, Peter?'', Thor asked gently, Peter's eyes widened and he looked at him, as if realizing what he had just said, ''You think you let him down?'', ''I...'', He couldn't speak. ''You told me a story a few days ago... Was Ben your uncle?'', Bucky asked. Peter looked down, then sighed, ''I was Ben.'', ''Shit.'', Then Bucky remembered his full name was Peter Benjamin Parker.''Pete, you can't keep blaming yourself forever.'', Peter didn't say anything, ''Do you wanna talk about it?'', asked Pietro, ''No. But II guess I need to.'', and he started talking.By the end of the night everyone was around him, finding out everything he's been through, and promising to make him better. They watched a movie, cracking a joke there and there, and for the first time in so long, Peter didn't felt guilty anymore.They smiled. He smiled, he was happy. He knew that he'll need more time to heal, but that night was his first step to healing and moving on.The End.