Chapter Twenty-Three

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Having the library to turn back into... well.... a library kept me pretty busy around the castle. There were some days I was overwhelmed with morning sickness though and would stay in bed most of the mornings.
I groaned as I desperately tried to zip up an orange gown as much as I tried though my fingers couldn't claps the zipper. I was now close to three months pregnant and I was starting to show a little bit. I was able to hold it off this long, but I could tell my time was running out. Dylan was bound to see my stomach growing soon, plus it was getting hard to were certain gowns. I searched my closet till I found a dark blue velvet gown that had long sleeves. The bust showed a creamy color material with a few frills of lace before going into the dark blue velvet waist, long sleeves and skirt which split right down the middle to show more creamy color material with frills of lace underneath. This gown was just loose enough that I could slip into it no problem. I sighed and rubbed my baby bump, "I think it's time..... no more secrets."
Slowly I walked down the long hallways thinking of how I should tell Dylan I was with child. Would he believe the child is his? After all I couldn't tell him it's Hayden's or he would surely have me beheaded for disloyalty even though it happened before I knew him. I found Dylan coming out of one of the rooms he had for meetings he closed the empty room's door behind him.
"Good morning, my Queen." He placed his hands on my waist and pulled me in for a kiss.
I kissed him back nervously, he held me at bay and looked at me, "Are you alright my dear? You're trembling."
My throat felt as dry as a dessert as I searched for words to say. "I..... I have some news."
"Oh yeah.... tell me, what is it?" He asked.
"I'm...... I'm with child... We're going to have a baby." I stammered my hands shaking.
Dylan took my hands rubbing them gently, "We're going to have a baby!" He repeated then laughing he twirled me around and hugged me, "We're going to be a family!" He smiled.
I stood there numbly he bought it? He didn't question it at all which made me relieved. "You're.... you're not upset?"
He laughed, "Why would I be? I love you and now we're having a baby. An heir to the throne! The people would be thrilled. I'm happy for us. Aren't you?" He asked.
Quietly I thought about what he said. Was I happy? I didn't feel happiness, but then again I was still cursed with unhappiness. I didn't even know what being happy meant. I've never felt it. "I'm... not sure...." I answered slowly.
"It's okay you're probably nervous." He patted my back trying to comfort me, "You don't have to worry. I'll have the best midwife come for you and you'll be taken care of."
I gave him a weary smile, "Thank you, I think I'll work on the library some today."
"Okay don't over do it." I turned to go and he continued, "Oh! I almost forgot, but I have to leave on a business trip today, I won't be gone long. Just a couple days."
"A couple days! It seems like you just got back." I said remembering the last trip he went on which was last week.
"It's harvest time Amaya, and pretty soon snow will cover Kalopsia. I must visit the neighboring kingdoms before the first snow fall."
"Maybe I can come with you, we can traveling and see the land." I offered.
"No! No, it's too dangerous." Dylan argued.
Taken back by his harsh voice I took a step backwards, "I won't get in the way of your business meetings. I could even just stay in the carriage."
"No, I mean it's to dangerous for a Queen. A King's greatest weakness is his Queen if his enemies found out about his Queen they could attack." He places his soft hands on my cheeks lifting my face towards his, "You are my weakness, you must be protected I can't have our enemies finding out about you and hurting you. You understand don't you?"
I lowered my head sadly, I longed to get out of the castle I was tired of these stone walls and elegant rooms. But the thought of enemies of Kalopsia waiting to attack worried me. Especially since I was carrying Hayden's baby, it was all I had left of him. I lost Hayden, and I wasn't going to loose this baby too. "Yes I understand." I murmured, then looking up at him I asked, "Does Kalopsia have many enemies?"
"Right now none that I know of, but you never know when one might attack. You're safer here in Kalopsia where there are guards around every corner that can protect you when I'm gone." He saw the look of sadness on my face and added, "I promise though I'll take you soon on a trip, just for us. We own a spring castle across the mountain tops. It's by the sea, with it's own beach for you to walk on. You'll love it, we'll go sometime."
My hopes lifted at the sound of that. I didn't know we owned two castles that sounded really exciting. "Promised?"
"Here's my promise." leaning down he planted a kiss on my finger tips. "I must leave, but I'll see you soon."
Giving him one final hug I watched him walk away and continued on my way to the library on the third floor of the castle.
I got to work opening box after box and sorting through what I wanted to keep and what needed tossed out. Most of the boxes contained books that I placed on the shelves, others held old letters and pages that didn't make any since to me but I placed them in the draw to the table. I wondered why Dylan never used the library. It looked liked nobody had used it at all. I stretched my sore back then bent down to open the last box. I coughed as dust bunnies came up out of the box. Bating them away with my hand I peered down into the tall box. There was a picture frame and a single book by itself. I grasp the edge of the large picture frame and pulled it out to have a look. Dylan's kind face smiled back at me from the portrait. His hand rested on the back of a chair and he looked handsome in a dark suit. Who ever did the drawing really knew what he was doing because it looked just like him.
"Mmm where should I put you." I mumbled gazing around the library. My eyes stopped at the large stone fireplace. Holding it up for a better look I realized it was the perfect size for the portrait. Taking the step-stool from the comfy chair that sat near the fireplace I stood up to see how hard it would be to put a nail in. "That's odd." I ran my finger over the wall. There was already a nail there and it was at the right height for the picture frame. It was like the picture used to be there, but was taken down for some reason. Carefully I hung the picture above the fireplace.
"So this is what a Queen does in her spare time."
I gasped and turned around, "Tallulah!" Stepping down from the stepstool I ran to my best friend and threw my arms around her. "I've missed you so much!"
Tallulah hugged me back giving me a tight squeeze before stepping back, "I've missed you too. I'm sorry I haven't been able to visit, the Pub has been quiet busy since you left. How have you enjoyed life in the palace?"
"Oh, it's like I never left the place. A. castle's a castle no matter what kingdom name it's under." I sat down on the soft velvet couch resting my head in my hand.
"You broke you curse though right, so you're happy?" Tallulah asked taking a seat next to me.
"No." I said sadly, "I'm starting to think there's no such thing as happiness."
"But, I thought marrying Dylan would break the curse."
"So did I, but it turns out I was wrong. I don't feel any different."
Tallulah patted my hand comforting, "I'm so sorry Amaya, have you ever thought though that maybe the Great Wizard was toying with you and that you aren't really cursed? Maybe it's a distraction to keep you from realizing what's really going on."
I paused quietly pondering what she said. I had wondered myself if it wasn't real, but so many bad things have happened to me it had to be real. "I don't question anything the Great Wizard says, I am cursed with the cures of unhappiness."
"What are you going to do now?" She asked.
"I have no idea." I replied.
"Where is Dylan anyways?" Tallulah asked looking around the large library.
"He's away on a business trip." I waved my hand at Tallulah's raised eyebrow. I knew exactly what she was thinking why didn't I go with him. "It's a long story." 
Thankfully Tallulah didn't press me for answers instead she offered to help straightened out the library. Tallulah pulled out the last book that was in the box with Dylan's portrait. She blew dust off the cover and read the title aloud. "Book of maps." She ran her fingers along the green cover with the golden swirly letterings. "It looks old." She handed the book over to me.
I looked at the fancy book, it did look rather old. Carefully I opened the book to random page. The cream color page that did in fact looked old was blank, no names, or images of mountains, rivers, or kingdoms were displayed on the page. It was just a blank page. Finding that weird I flipped to another page, and then another. The whole book was empty. Just blank pages held together with a binding. "If it held maps at one time they're all gone. It's just an empty book, it doesn't look like any pages are ripped out even." I held the book up so she could see the empty pages for herself.
"Mmm why make a book of maps, but not have a single map in it? It's just a waste of paper." Tallulah frowned.
"Beats me." I said walking to the bookcase I placed the book on a shelf. "I guess I'll just have a world globe ordered and brought in."
She chuckled softly to herself, "Look at you having money to throw around on a fancy globe. The glorious life of being royalty." She teased.
"It's not all what it's made out to be. Dylan works hard to keep peace and order in the kingdom."
"I still can't believe he just left you here, you guys just got married!"
"I know, but he has to keep the kingdom safe." I paused for a moment as we picked up the empty boxes to throw them away, "I told him I'm pregnant." I said as we left the library.
"You did?!" Tallulah said in surprised, "Ohhh Amaya I'm so happy for you that you told him the truth! This is for the best you'll see." She smiled.
We laid the boxes outside the kitchen for the servants to throw away. "Would you like to stay for dinner?" I asked as we strolled along the wide hallway.
Tallulah glanced at the Great Grandfather clock, "Oh my is that the time? I really should be getting back to the Pub for the evening shift."
"Who's watching the Pub right now?" I asked.
"Oh you know me, I don't trust anybody with my Pub." She smiled, "I closed the Pub for the afternoon.
I felt bad that Tallulah had to close the Pub to visit me. I knew the Pub was her only income. "Tallulah you didn't have to do that."
"Of course I did, I wanted to see my best friend who's now a Queen. Don't worry I'll find some more help soon."
"Don't hesitate to come to me if you need help, Dylan probably won't let me work in the Pub again. But I'll give you any money you need."
"Amaya, did you forget my brother was a frog that kissed a princess and now rules the kingdom of Yugen with her by his side. He offers me money and I don't except it. I'll manage and be okay really."
We reached the foyer with the white marble floor and the double mahogany staircase that went up to the second floor. I hugged Tallulah wishing she didn't have to go so soon. "You'll come back soon won't you?"
She squeezed me tightly, "Of course, I especially can't wait to see the little bundle of joy you're carrying."
I crossed my arms over my chest. "Yeah me too, I just need to break my curse. I couldn't live with myself if my curse caused harm to come to my child."
"Don't worry, I have faith you'll crack this curse right open and finally be happy." Tallulah turned to the tall double doors and the guards opened it for her. I watched her till the guards closed the doors and she was out of sight. I wondered once again what happiness felt and if I'll ever feel that way.

***

The Great Wizard moved his black rotting fingernails over his crystal magic ball as he replayed a moment. His eyes glimmered with interested as he watched Amaya now Queen of Kalopsia tell King Dylan she's with child from his magic ball. He laughed his high pitch laugh and clasped his hands together excitedly.
"She's with child." the other guy said rather bored as they both watched the crystal ball.
"Interesting." the Great Wizard said a crazy smile on his old face.
"This changes everything." The guy stated matter of factly.
The Great Wizard click his tongue, "No you just don't know how to have any fun!" He cast a look behind him at the man, "Now sit back like a good boy and let me work. The game is about to get better. 

***
   Just as she promised Tallulah did come back to visit. We sat in the library a warm fire brewing in the stone fire place. Outside the leaves were turning all kinds of shades of orange, red, yellow, and brown. It got quiet cold in the evenings and I was thankful for the large fireplaces that were in almost every room in the castle.  Tallulah sat on the red velvet couch while I sat in the comfy chair.
I sighed, "It's so cold in the castle right now with fall, I wonder what winter will be like?"
Tallulah shivered and pulled the blanket up closer around her. "I can't imagine. At least it'll be spring when the baby comes."
Just then the doors to the library opened and Dylan walked in wearing tan pants with a green shirt. His sword hung at his waist. "My Queen!" He rushed to me and twirled me around.
"You're back!" I exclaimed thrilled that his trip was over and I wouldn't be alone with the servants all day.
"Of course, I said I would be back in two days didn't I?" He smiled down at me as I sat back down in the chair, "I couldn't wait to see you and see how you and our baby are doing?"
Tallulah casted me a look with her eyebrows raised she mouthed 'Our baby?'
I ignored her and focused on Dylan, "What do you think of the library?"
He walked around the large library, "I like it." He glanced at the portrait of him that I hung above the fireplace, then he turned his eyes to the built in bookcases that weren't completely full. "I can get you more books for the bookcases if you want." He offered.
"Oh that'll be lovely, and a moving ladder would be nice to reach the books on the higher shelves. Oh! And a world globe of all the kingdoms would be nice."
Dylan chuckled, "I don't see why you're so interested in the library. You could have any room in the castle to redecorate and you choose this place."
"I love libraries! Why back in my pal...I mean back in the town of Capricious" I quickly caught myself before I said my palace. Dylan didn't know I was the princess of Rollick. "I would go to the town library all the time to read."
"As long as you don't get lost in here." Dylan said with a smile he placed a kiss on my fingertips, "I'll leave you ladies to talk, I have somethings to straightened out so I'll see you later."
Once Dylan was out of eye sight Tallulah turned to me a concerned look on her face, "I thought you told him about the baby?"
"I did." I said defensively not liking where this was going.
"Then why does Dylan think the baby is his when we both know it's Hayden's? I thought you told him the truth."
"Telling him the truth is just going to make things worst. Besides Hayden is dead remember? It's just easier telling Dylan it's his, because the baby WILL be his."
"Amaya, you're digging yourself into your own grave, you know that right? He's going to find out eventually."
I held my head high in the air, "The only way he'll ever know is if you tell him, but you wouldn't betray your...." I stopped realizing I was going to say queen.
It was too late though because Tallulah had caught on, "Queen?"  She finished for me she glared at me through her dark brown eyes, "You're really going to play that card then? Fine. If you've forgotten your majesty Capricious is it's own little town all to itself. It's not part of Kalopsia, so thereforth you're not my QUEEN and I wouldn't want a lying queen who kept secrets anyways."
Her words stung piercing my already broken heart. Shakily I stood to my feet, "I want..... I want you to leave." I stammered then turned my back to her and watched the fire danced happily in the fireplace. Even a fire could feel something I couldn't I thought glumly. Tears fell freely down my cheeks as I heard Tallulah slowly get up and close the library doors behind her.
I collapsed to the ground sobbing uncontrollably. This curse really has taken everything important to me out of my life. Anything that could possibly show a glimpse of happiness was gone. My father didn't want me, my mother killed by my father's hand because he wanted to frame me, Hayden was gone, and now Tallulah too....... When would it all end?



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