Elite

9: Unlikely Duo

Composure is key. Don't give yourself away. Train your face, train your body, even your very fingertips, relax them, assume the stance you were taught, and blend in. This is what I tell myself as I turn around to see those round brown eyes watching me. Again. She was here, the girl from the bus, the one incapable of making good eye-contact. The observer - I think I'd call her that from now on.

I smile. Weakly, the type of smile that showcases the discomfort and inconvenience any proposed conversation would instil. I do not want to be here, talking to her. I want to be out there, exploring this whole building and looking for clues. I am no stranger to the isolationist philosophy. I know how easy it is to get wrapped up into that tainted way of thinking, believing that solitude is always above magnitude and companionship. It is foolish, I know. But it is all so tempting. You see, to make a friend is to place a part of yourself in the palms of another. I have no spare parts to give, I have lost too many already. Friends, in the short term are more like liabilities rather than assets, the long term offers a different story. But I am in the short term right now, the future me will fend for themself. At CWL friendship is a double-edged sword. The same hands that fed you water when you were dying of thirst, can be the same hands that stab you in the heart. Not the back, the heart is more intentional. It takes more guts.

So I turn to look at her, those inquisitive dark eyes, flitting over my body, suspicion. Is that suspicion that passes over her face? I don't know, I don't have time to know. It's best to explore when the staff are preoccupied with the other students and their unnecessary demands and gluttony. Once people start going to bed, it will be harder to move around unnoticed.

'Um, I s-saw you walking around'

'okay'

I check my watch, five minutes to 2. The clock waits for no man, even if we wind it back, it keeps on moving.

'S-so - um - what do you think about it all?'

I did not have the time to spend on this conversation, I needed to get out of it quick.

'Look, um - Obs -' I almost called her 'Observer'.

'Ade. My names Ade'

'Right, Ade. Look I have somewhere to go, can we talk later?'

'Can I come with you?'

I froze. Really? Really, out of everyone I could've met in this hallway it had to be her. And now she was asking this, in that stern voice of hers. It was weird, it happened on the bus and its happening here now. Those fleeting moments where all tremors and stammers seem to disappear. For a split second. I look into her eyes, how determined they look. She's on to me, or maybe she wants something from me. In her eyes I may be an asset, but what is she to me? What can I gain from this friendship - no. I'm not stupid, this is not a proposal of friendship, it is one of an alliance. This could work, this could really work. But trust is a fragile ring, one that does not fit on everyone's fingers. Will it fit hers?

'Fine'

The decision was made, time was not on my side, neither was it in my hands.

'Great'

She smiled, how different she looked when her cheeks lifted, fine eyebrows curved, brown round eyes brightened with her dimples on display.

She began walking ahead, feeling the sides of the wall, searching for something, it was as if she'd been here before. She halted, and pressed some hidden section, behind a vase. A door slid open, revealing a poorly lit staircase, it smelt stale and dusty. I wondered how long it had taken her to find this, I wonder if she too had been looking for clues, failing to believe that all this extravaganza was truly free. In that moment I respected her.

She tried to step in first, eager, excited. It was the thrill that sparked her eyes as she turned to me to ask something, but her small feet failed her, and her descent down the weak staircase was unbalanced. I held out my hand to steady her, and she hesitantly accepted it.

As I held those thin, bony hands I thought if the ring would fit. Trust, what a fragile thing it was, if it never truly fit, it would almost always fall off. Was it a risk I was willing to take?

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