The Return

12

"Okay, but you haven't ever actually tried it," I said.

"I don't need to," Colby laughed.

"What are you two lovebirds giggling about?" Devyn asked, joining us in the kitchen.

"Normal Cheerios with honey on them are better than honey nut Cheerios and I will stand by that until the day I die," I declared. We continued the argument, none of us even noticing Jake walk into the kitchen.

He made his way over and slapped two sealed packages down onto the kitchen table.

"That's how it's done, boys," Jake cheered.

"Is this the stuff?" Sam asked excitedly, sliding into the kitchen on his socks.

"Sure is. Ray and Gein merch," said Jake.

"Mmm, does that count as merch?" Devyn asked.

"Respectfully, Miss Lundy, shut up," Jake said.

"So what'd we get?" asked Colby.

"I don't know, my guy just said he'd figure something out," Jake replied. Sam and Colby each took a package and ripped it open.

"I got Ray's," said Sam. It was a single bright red sock.

"Just like I used to wear," I joked.

"So that means I got Gein," said Colby. I shuddered at the thought of having one of that man's belongings in this house. But it'd stop the dreams I was having about the whole ordeal. Supposedly.

Colby ripped the package open the rest of the way and a single item bounced out onto the table.

"What is it?" asked Devyn.

"It's an outlet cover," Colby said. "Must've been in his house."

"I told you Jake would pull through," I said.

"Yeah, no, you were definitely right," Colby responded.

"So that's it? That's all we need?" I asked.

"We've got to get a couple more things, but we can go to any grocery store and get them," said Sam.

"Grocery store! I'll go! Who wants to be my shopping buddy? Tara's asleep and I'm not waking her up," said Jake. Everyone just stared at him and I started to feel bad.

"I'm in. Let's go," I said.

"Colbster, shoot us a text with what to get," Jake said, pointing to Colby as we turned to leave. "I'm driving," he said to me.

"Oh, I can—,"

"No, no, I already have my keys," Jake insisted. Oh boy.

We made out way outside and climbed into his car, me snapping my seatbelt on immediately.

"Walmart or Target?" Jake asked.

"Which is closer?" I asked. Not because of which was more convenient.

"Wally-world," said Jake.

"Then let's go there," I said. Sam texted me the shopping list a few minutes later, leaving me grateful to have a distraction that would keep my eyes off of the roads through Jake's...unique driving style.

We got there relatively soon, but not without accidentally running a stop sign and pissing off some lady in a green Kia Soul.

"For the record, anyone that drives a green Kia Soul is just asking for it," he said as he put the car in park. "Plus she looked like a Karen."

I chuckled as we got out and made our way inside.

"Okily dokily, what's on the list?" Jake asked, snatching a cart from the line.

"Basically just a fuckton of candles," I replied.

"Sick nasty, we shall retrieve fire sticks," he responded. We made our way over to the aisles stacked full of candles.

"Okay, we need six red, six black, and six white, I guess," I said. Jake grabbed the white ones while I got the red and black.

"Little sticks of jizz," he whispered, dropping them into the cart.

"You're the worst, have I told you that?" I asked.

"Yes, but thank you for the reminder. That was a weird thing to say. I appreciate the reality check," he replied. "Was that literally all we needed?"

"No, there's a few more things," I said, peering down at the screenshot from Sam's notes app.

"Such as?" Jake asked.

"Flashlights, batteries, matches, lighters, balloons, water bottles, fir—fire starter? Seriously?" I asked.

"Are we not, like, flying there? Can we even bring any of that stuff?" asked Jake.

"That is a wonderful point. Let me call Sam," I said. I tapped on his name and waited through the rings for him to answer.

"Sup?" he said.

"Are you suggesting we're supposed to bring fire starter on a fucking airplane?" I asked.

"Oh, I thought we could drive," said Sam.

"Dude, what? That's like a two day drive," I said.

"Forty-six, actually," he replied.

"Why do you want to drive? Can't we just buy this stuff there?" I asked.

"I thought we could turn it into a fun road trip, rent a big car, then leave it there and fly back," he said.

"Okay, what kind of road trip? Anywhere you wanted to stop in particular?" I asked.

"Yellowstone?" Sam said apprehensively. "I don't know, I just thought doing something fun could take our mind off of the real reason we're going. Or we could stay at the Stanley halfway through for fun." I smiled at Sam's optimism and soft heart.

"Okay, yeah. Yellowstone seems like a long thing, I'd personally like to not wait super long to get this done, but I'm open to staying at the Stanley. I've never been," I said. "Where is it, exactly?"

"In Colorado, North of Denver," said Sam. "Oh, have you ever been to Disney?"

"I have not," I said.

"Then we're driving through the town that inspired Walt Disney himself to design main street. It's only like, thirty minutes from the hotel. Wanna do that?" he asked.

"Yeah, okay. Drive there, fly back, have some fun with it. I'm down," I said.

"Cool, I'll convince Corey and Colby," said Sam.

"I won't convince Jake. I'm just telling him that's the plan," I said.

"Works for me," he replied. "I'll see you soon."

"Yup, see you at home. Bye," I replied, hanging up the phone.

"Alright, we're driving there, so let's go get a shit ton of snacks," I said to Jake.