It's The Thoughts That Count

Journal #14

February 17th,2015

My nightmares have officially gotten worse. Last nights left me awaking in a pool of cold sweat.

I was in a dim room, and two small wooden chairs stood in front of me. Beside the chairs was a small metal table holding two Revolvers.

My uncle sat in one of the chairs. "Emma," he said to me. "You know what people think of us." I nodded seriously.

"That we're bad people, that,we're wastes of space." He nodded.

"Very good," he said. I narrow my eyes at him.

"Well, I've had a lot of time to learn waiting for you to get out of prison," I said. He hesitated.

"Look," he said, "we're not getting into that." Reaching over to the table, he grabbed a Revolver and extended it toward me. I immediately took it into my own hands. He patted the chair next to him, and I took a seat. He putted the gun to his head, and I copied. "On three, okay?," he asked. I nodded in agreement. "One," he said.

"Two," I said, with no fear.

"Three," he said, and we pulled the triggers. There was a bang, a white flash, and then darkness.

Nobody even realized we were missing until it was three days later. Everyone immediately assumed we had run off together.

About a week later, Dakota, Dale, and Anthony were playing soccer. "Where do you guys think Emma and her uncle went?," Anthony asked.

"Who cares?," Dale says.

"Yeah," Dakota said.

"Just curious," Anthony said.

"As far as I care," Dale said, "she's gone. Who cares where she went? She's gone, no one liked her. So it's a bonus for us."

"True," Anthony said. "She could be dead for all anyone cares." Dale and Dakota nodded in agreement.

The interesting thing is, I got in a fight with my mom last night. She said that I was going down a bad path, and I said, "well then I guess I belong with my uncle then huh?" Now, my uncle's been in out of prison, is a drugatic, ect. So of course, my mom really let me have it after I said that. She said things like. . .

"You want to be a dead beat bum like your uncle?" My uncle is actually a very good person, he's just made some bad choices. He loves God and is a nature person. He and I are just different in how we handle situations.

But anyway my uncle and I decayed our favorite way. In solitude. And no one ever knew.

So now I'm avoiding my friends and basements. I love my life. The fear makes it interesting.