WITH LOVE, REGULUS BLACK

74

*Sirius receives two letters from Kreacher, one addressed to James.*

James,

I have left to become the person you deserve- well at least half of that, since you have the girl of your dreams already in your arms.

I wish I could express what I'm feeling as clearly as I feel it, it would make this so much easier but nonetheless, I shall try.

Do Better. At the time, your words hurt me and I got defensive and cold but now I realize you were right all along.

I needed to do better, to be a better person.

From the first time I saw you, standing in front of me with an outstretched arm, welcoming me to be your friend, I knew you were different.

I obviously refused you and stormed out of the carriage shoving past you and my brother, but all the same, you showed me then, the kindness I so desperately craved.

I hated you, James, for being everything I wanted to be and I still can't believe my luck that you ever kissed me back.

You're right- you'll always be my best snog.

I wish I could've been better for you, maybe if I was my brother, things would be different.

As much as I wish I could feel your touch one more time and lay against your chest until all my worries disappear- I am happy that you've found happiness with Evans.

I have found a way to defeat the Dark Lord and by the time you find this, I will have destroyed the real horcrux, leaving him a fraction more mortal.

As for me, well, you know I've never been one to rejoice in heroics.

I used to hate you, James Potter, but now I've realized that I love you more than I could ever hate you.

If I do not return to you, know that I tried. Know that I'm not scared or tormented by fear anymore. I'm with you always.

Remember all those stars we charted? I do.
It was all for good reason as now you'll never miss me- Look up and I'm right here next to you.

Maybe it's a cruel joke on me, falling in love with you with every odd against us.

If you could only read the thousands of unsent letters I scribbled down late at night- hell, maybe it's better you didn't.

I really wish this was good enough.

I wish that I would wake up from this miserable dream and see your face again.

I guess somehow I thought that maybe if I did something good, that it'd all go away.

The pain, the guilt, the awful self loathing.

All the same, I wanted to thank you.

You made me believe that I could be something and I'm so glad for it.
I will not have died in vain.

It's all for you, you know- It's always been for you. All until the end.

Forgive me, James.
Take care of my brother.

With love,
Regulus Black