inner thoughts- poetry and extracts

how much longer?

tw: implied suicidal thoughts, implied self harm/relapsing. please stay safe and reach out if needed, i'll always listen <3

how much longer?
till i lose them. till they become just somebody i used to know and trust with my entire being.

how much longer before he does it?
before he goes and becomes a distant lover and someone who i thought would be here. 

how much longer till it happens again? 
till the thoughts get too heavy for my head and heart to get around.

how much longer till i can't control it?
till the thoughts of self destruction become a reality.

how much longer till the waves tug me closer to the edge?
till they bring me further and further away from any hope or light.

how much longer till the waves succeed and triumph over me?
forever.